I have miles and miles of skin.
Untouched
I have miles and miles of skin.
Begging to be loved,
Some of it
has been marred
With hungry hands and bruising grips.
Some has been stitched together
With a cool demeanour and practised fingers.
Parts bare scars of a desperate girl-
Looking for a way to feel something
All of it is wholly mine

- this body is my home and I have let many people decorate it because I thought they would stay.

I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if the love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me

I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
after you broke me
I was looking for different fingers
to place different pieces and hoping  the outcome
would be a masterpiece
Maybe one of them would find a way
to cover up the handprints you left all over me

I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself
you wouldn't be the only one
that these scars marking my body wouldn't define
my worth to be loved
I am not entirely sure  
you aren't the only one who could ever touch me without slightly  flinching

I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay

Some days
my heart
acts like a
little puppy
that just
won't listen.
I have to
put a leash
around it's
collar just so
it won't
go running
towards you.

I want my love for myself
To overflow
And I want my overflow of love
To seep over onto you
But for now
My cup is empty
And maybe you can sense
That I have nothing to offer you

do not do to me
what she did to you;
i will not be
the graveyard of
your love for her.