When you kissed me, I lied.

I let you kiss me because I wanted someone to love me.  
I was selfish, I wanted to soothe my craving for attention, soft and kind love.

It’s because you’re warm and safe, I still do get the urge to trust you with love.
In fact you’re handsome while so insecure.

But I shouldn’t have kissed you, because I knew I didn’t want you but your aroma.
I chewed it and played with it to spare your feelings and to ebb my shame

but believe me, I’m happy to have made your acquaintance on that awful day that appeared on paper as perfect.
On the day when the last one I loved, introduced me to you

death had soft hands
with veins snaking beneath
paper thin skin, touching my palms
     how could i forget?
      the warmth of his presence
        that demanded all attention
          for my gaze to fixate on him and him alone
            like the sun
              setting on the final day of summer
                 when all memories of youth
                    were merely bygone thoughts
                       in overexposed dreams
                  
and he was beautiful
a smile of pearls
   a voice like honeysuckle and
     the gentle afternoon breeze
       like wind chimes blowing
         had i forgotten?
        
he breathes life into me
  as he takes it away
     and gladly
     i let him
     it would be a crime not to
    
he pressed his lips
against mine
   and with a sigh
                                      finally
      i let him in.

the rain came today
it came violently
a sudden scream for freedom

it caused trepidation
as it pounded into
the dusted surface
of the Earth

then it faded
into a whisper
a whisper only the trees
and dry souls could hear

light me on fire
set me ablaze
i let you fan me till i grow big
and swallow forests whole
nobody blames the arsonist
just the fire.