Euphoria

Aug 2015

LadyBird

Some people feel their pain with grace.
Some people swallow their emotion and let
It claw out of their chest with an exquisite
Spray of blood and a melodious sob.
Some people wake every morning,
Sure that they are alive because their heart
Is adorned with the scars to prove it.
Some people are a pretty kind of sad.

Other people are brutish transformers.
Other people quietly inject their toxic pain
Into their bloodstream and wait for it to run its course.
Other people work every day to sweat it out,
But never quite feel clean enough.
With clogged arteries, other people explode.
Their pain takes their power and other people
Break things, break people, break love.

In hiding you will find only danger;
There is never anything beautiful about anger.

#death #loss #grief #coping

Aug 2015

Gemineyed Gypsy

Before You Go

So much time is wasted.
How often are you lost in thought?
Trapped within a whirlwind of emotions, You can't stay grounded.
You're lost inside yourself.
Numb.
Numb to the world around you, to what's standing right before your own eyes.
A blank slate.
In a vegetative state.
A water balloon about to pop.
So much pressure building up from the inside out, these words won't stop.
Soon you will burst.
Stop your mind before your heart stops beating.

FOCUS.

Thump thump. Thump thump.
It starts off slow, so slow you begin to wonder if you still have a heart at all.
Perhaps your mind has just taken over and soon your lungs will give out.
Perhaps this is the end after all.
Is this how I go?
In a motionless state, just waiting for the next ***** to shut down...
You try to breathe.
It only hurts.
THUMP thump thump THUMP thump thump.
Now it won't stop.
THUMP thump thump THUMP thump thump.
The beat gets faster, the breathing harder. Tears begin to stream down from the eyes.
You feel as though your body is going to let go.
Fear is taking over.
You're giving up, ready to jump, just throw it all away...
You can't do this alone anymore. You have no desire to try.
You believe this is the only way out.
This tsunami, this hurricane, this eruption of emotions are consuming you.
Eating you alive.
--Silence--
Before you go, remember one thing. The most important words you will ever know...
You are loved, and
Love conquers all.

Writings through a battle with anxiety.

© 2015 Ashley Jean.
All rights reserved.
Intellectual property of the author.

#love #fear #anxiety #silence #anxious #give-up

Euphoria Aug 2015

08.20.15

With ink stained finger tips
I seek the only crimson that drips
Out of passion or of pain
It doesn't matter, this is keeping me sane
Fill the pages with my own sap
Please don't give me that crap
You know no pain
Til you've had your hurricane
So stop acting cool
To me you are nothing but a fool

*end

Aug 2015

Scarlet Preysler

Do You Remember

I remember everything so clearly
I remember when the sun was shining to your face and you looked down at me and told me that I'm beautiful

I remember the feeling I felt after our first kiss
I remember when you told me you want me in your life forever
I remember the look on your face the first time you told me you love me

I remember feeling safe whenever you wrapped me around your arms
I remember touching your hair, your skin, your lips
I remember me kneading your veiny hands

I remember us feeling empty when we're not together
I remember us missing each other's lips even right after we kissed
I remember us naming our future kids

I remember you ignoring me
I remember you throwing everything we had
I remember you not remembering me

I remember all of it. Do you?

#heartbreak #remember #latenightthoughts #stopme

Euphoria Aug 2015

Arguments

Challenge this lethal mind.
Make sure not to leave anything behind.
Come on, propose your arguments!
I'll be hearing all your sentiments.
This is no war between us,
Nor me being an ***.
This is a battle inside me
Of who I think I am and who I think I should be

Got inspired after some reading on theories on self.

Aug 2015

Meg

absence

Absence
Makes
The heart
Grow
Fonder...

Really?

Since writing this poem I have come across the following quote by François VI de la Rochefoucault:
"Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and fans the bonfire."

#absence

Aug 2015

Meg

falling

Why is it
That we must
Fall
In love,
Like we fall into a trap?
Everything that falls
Gets broken.
*Love is
Fated to end in broken pieces
From the very beginning.

Just an old poem I dug up.

#falling