Honey, you're a dark force
and I'm a dark horse,
maybe we can run together.

I lived my life held down by chains
whips
and sour wails.
Then came prince one day
and saved me from myself.
He took me to a place
of glass
it must've been the stars
and it must've been the
sky.
But, it was only glass
it seems.
Not even fragile to my surprise.
I began to train.
to fight for freedom
for none one but me.
I let my demons
push on my chest.
reminding me of who I used to be.
friends, lovers, and enemies  
passed right through my hands
as I figured out my fate to follow
there in Adarlan.

I have nothing but stories to tell
My thoughts to misspell
Misinterpret this feeling
This crave that I'm needing

Fill this space that I'm keeping
All to myself I live my life
All to myself I live my life

Living life on the edge
That's what the party manic said
Make it rain till you're dead
That's what the crazy manic said

When it's all done and did
Will u be happy with what u did
I got nothing but stories
All my life is a story
Writing out my story
Living life like a story
Help me write this story
Stop saying you're sorry
And help me out not you're laury

**** if I knew how not to worry
I'd take it down with no chase
Make this space a haze
Travel through my thought
Like I'm riding a jeep through an earth quake
Let all hang loose
Man do I need this *****

I live with myself with this space
I have no one to trust in and replace
The space is all for me
Me myself and this space

Tell me all your stories
Tell me all your stories
Tell me all your stories
Fiilll me up with your story
And don't tell me you're sorry
I have nothing but me myself and this space
I trust no one to replace
Me myself and this space
I love no one to replace
Me myself and this space

You're going to be running for a long time.
Your eyes are on the finish line, your eyes are pointed towards-
What was that? Happiness?
No, that's not what you're chasing.
You want to be better than them, but that's not being happy
Because, and I'm sure you know,
It's all
A
Competition.
You run and you run and you fall and you get back up
To beat them, of course. To show that you can go further
You can push yourself to do whatever they're doing
(Your friends, your enemies, what's the difference anyways?)
But a thousand times better.
Better yet, make that a million.
What you don't understand though, is that the tables have turned
And now it's a race to see-
Who's sadder? Who's suffering more?
Nobody pays attention to what you feel, you think to yourself.
You have to show them. You have to fight.
Show them you're hurt or make something up!
As long as the attention is on you!
Are you happy? No.
Are you successfully taking advantage of others' pity?
You're **** right.
But it's all a race, a fight, a competition, a
Pile of crap, that's what it is.
You won't get anywhere pushing yourself to be more ******* up
You think you're outside of the box and unique because you have feelings.
You're just like everyone else, you don't even try to be happy.
Have fun fitting in with those who bury themselves alive.
It's not a game.

my head is heavy.
my head is heavy.
my eyelashes are teensy weights
drawing me down, closing the day
but there is work to be done
even when my eyes are blurry with tired tears
and i am relying solely on my fingertips
to find the right keys to press.
(i wish there was a key to turn off my headache)
i doubt i'll get my work done.
i do that a lot.
doubt myself, not get my work done.
i always think that my future is set in stone and i'll be settled
but i really have no idea what to do
because of all this assuming- my grades will be fine, my test scores will be high.
but what if it's not, and what if i end up being a UPS driver or something?
i don't understand how everyone else is so easily ambitious
and they do all their work
and yeah they might complain about a bad test grade
but they're like robots.
they achieve, they do this and that, they volunteer and they're on student council,
they have enough money and they might not even be certain on what their future entails
but they'll be fine and i know it but i do not know as for myself.
and it drives me absolutely insane.
how?
How?

This is Seventeen.
Seventeen is loosely in the beginning of my life. Seventeen is realizing you’ve got a whole lot of life left in front of you. It is accepting that life is a page of writing that has been started, but is nowhere near finished, that a few doors have closed, but many more are still open, that some choices are irrevocable, but some may be changed yet, that there are still many what ifs that need to be figured out.
Seventeen is being caught in the limbo of being seen as an incompetent child and being forced to make adult decisions.
Seventeen is having the freedom to drive anywhere, but having a curfew to stay within.
Seventeen is losing many of the friends you used to have, but keeping the ones who are the closest to you, the ones who understand you the best, the ones you hope to have forever.
Seventeen is being able to stay up late, eating pizza in the park, and play on a playscape trying to be kids for just a little longer.
Seventeen is year long concert series and jamming out to your favorite bands covered in sweat.
Seventeen is dying your hair bright colors, much to your mother’s disparagement, and then changing it a week later.
Seventeen is being forced to choose what you want to do with the rest of your life when your favorite food changes on a daily basis and you have no idea how to function without your mom nagging you.
Seventeen is being excited, scared, sad, angry, hopeful, happy, jealous all at once and trying to deal with it, while still completing your homework on time.