One pill, two pill
Orange pill, blue pill
White beads, pressed ecstasy and some ****.

Gluttony, greed,
My real sin is debauchery.
Gram of this, gram of that
marred my memories, myelin mortuary.
Skin, bones, but no fat
I'll eat gelatin capsules that can only subtract.

Artificial enthusiasm in Walgreens jars.
Decadence lost opulence to tolerance of bars.
Still I solicit any alter:
self-indulgence for Bacchanalian revival.
Hedonism's propensity,
mankind's perpetual denial-
but not for I,
the lotus eater
with the omniscient third-eye.

Mother,
you carried me
into life

and now

you carry me

dead

for all your eternity.

Mother,
I love life
and I bless your heart
for I knew the bliss
of your unconditional love.

Mother,
you cry
and you bleed

and I

can not help you.

Mother,
I know
the day I died
you tried

oh so desperately

to breathe life
into my lungs

and that moment
you attached yourself
to the anchor of my death.

Mother.

I know you miss me.
I know it is not fair.
I know you love me.

Please,
mother,
live,
carry me forever
out
into the sun
of your loving
my brothers

as you love me.

And, mother,
do know
that your love
would have grown me
into the man
you dreamed of.

I love you.

i don't believe in extremes
to follow the belief
that one has to be something
and not the other
is absolutely absurd
or at least somewhat absurd
because i don't believe in extremes

when you told me you loved me
every part of me
my twists and turns
and the sharp curbs of my dark alleys
where i keep the real monster
i scoffed
brushed it off
like the momentary dust
that, i believed, mimicked your sentiment

but when you came looking for me
when i was intoxicated
with something strange
not just alcohol
two hours before the sun started to rise
i looked at you and i swear
i swear
i had to catch myself
because i thought of something
only ***** gave my brain courage to think
i never would have thought this
before you

see, i never believe in extremes
well...
believed