I am never quite empty.
No matter how hard I try,
There is always something inside.
Something evil, something that shouldn’t be there.
I hate it for being inside me.
I need to get it out,
Before it takes over my body.
I try my best to get rid of it,
Try to force it out of me.
But everything goes black...


The coldness against my face snaps me back to reality.
My eyes slowly open and focus on the hard white seat I am resting on.
I lift my head to look inside,
But see only the cool undisturbed water.
I lower my head and again feel the cold porcelain against my cheek.
I close my eyes,
Surrendering,
Knowing I will never be pure.
Never quite empty.

I wonder,
do you close your eyes to kiss me
so you can imagine her?

Maybe someday,
You'll understand
Why I've spent my whole life
Trying to put it into words
And for once you let go
Of your fears and your ghosts
No proof, not much
But you saw enough
Even if it's just in your wildest dreams.