Stay down
Let her tears
Roll down her cheeks

Don't wipe them away
She needs to feel the pain
To realize she is not okay

People in love happy and healthy
Can still be broken inside
Just because she can smile
Doesn't mean she can't cry

I just don't want to be around her.
She makes me so uncomfortable.
My body has physically been wrecked
My heart has been smeared
All over my shower walls
Because of her.
Seeing her makes me go
Into
Fight or flight mode
Just because the hurt
Put me there.
It's instinct.

She grabs me by my hair
And pushes me face down onto the bed, running her hands
Up and down my thighs and ***,
Grabbing and massaging.

Pull down your pants
She says, eerily calm
So I pull them down
She helps me, then slides her
Hands back up my thighs
And ***.

Slap
I flinch, feeling my
Right cheek tingle
And then suddenly she does
It again.

It becomes a rhythm,
Then she grabs me by
My hair and yanks my head up,
My breathing heavy and
Almost pained

You will say again before
Every time I spank you.
You will say thank you after
Every time I spank you.
Do you understand?
She says, her voice low
And heavy in my ear.
Yes I breathe
Yes What? grabbing
My hair harder
Yes...again I moan
Slap
Thank you
Again
Slap
Thank you
*Again

8:46 am*

I'm lying awake
Right now and I
Can't tell
If you're pretending to sleep
Thinking
There's no way in hell
I'm waking up right now
I think my want
For you woke me
Cause I woke up
And suddenly I needed you
Needed you like the
Clingy ***** I am
Needed you rocking in
And out of me
Telling me you loved me

I'm so warm because
Of this fire you have
Built
In my heart
My head
My thighs
And fingertips

She was like a fine wine*

Too bad it spilled down the
Kitchen sink,
along with
A handful of pills from her
Mothers medicine cabinet

If she was a fine wine,
Why did they drink her like
Cheap *****?

*And smashed the bottle
Against their exes windshield

Her eyes
Are a mixture
Of gray and blue
And her fingers
Whisper the way
Leaves on trees do

I'm laying down
With my head on her chest
As I write this
And her heartbeat is
Thumping steadily
In my ear,
Her breathing even
And slow.

And those three words
Get caught in my throat
Every time I
Look in her eyes