abandoned.
-to be left alone
-the be stranded, unaware.

the pain of abandonment never gets easier.
each time you meet someone,
the first thought that occurs
'they're going to leave you'
you believe them when they say wont because you hope that they wont.
then they walk away as if it were nothing,
they drop everything at the click of their fingers,
feelings are not considered- only their own.
I suppose i can try to understand,
but i never will.

the shards of a broken heart is what i had to piece together after i had lost hope.
a few pieces are the wrong way up,
i did the best i could.

the glue that holds these pieces will never break,
for i am the glue,
i will protect my paper heart til the day i die.

oh but no, quite the contrary;
i have found someone,
whom i want to love.
and so i will,
i will love with everything i have,
lord knows I've got love to give.

i know that in the long run,
my paper heart will turn to ashes,
but for some reason
its okay.

-karma

there is a follow up to this piece :)

Let me show you that I'm capable of relationships,
companionships,
That I'm capable of caring and opening up.
Im capable of everything you need but I know there's no chance.
I know that you've decided to run away and I know that I've decided to stand and face the truth.
The truth is;
a slap in the face,
a message unread,
feelings unsaid.
The truth hurts and that's because there's no excuse.

I used to get butterflies when we kissed,
I used to yearn for your touch,
I used to feel a hot flame run through my body all the way to my toes whenever you touched me.
I used to look at you and think my heart might explode,
I used to think the way that you picked at your scabby hands was ****,
I used to put you before everything,
I used to think that you were worth it.

I used to think I was disgusting,
I used to think I was a *****, slimy eel.
I used to hate everything about myself.
I used to think that I wasn't good enough.

I used to believe my heart was truly breaking when you did what you did,
I used to believe you loved me,
I used to believe my heart was worth breaking over you.

I used to believe the lies you spat my way,
I used to believe you when you told me beautiful things that weren't meant for people like me,
I used to believe that we could work.
-I believe that we could've worked, it's just the wrong time,
Maybe later on in life,
Or maybe in a different life altogether we'll be together,
Until then I'm not holding hope for the future,
There's no need to when you've accepted the inevitable.

The human race,
is a pure disgrace.
Making people feel small, so they feel big.
Taking away their rights and continuing rebel fights.
Growing up we learn the basics,
one being  speaking and expression of oneself.
When we reach 16 and know highschool won't benefit us,
we must stay seated and keep quiet,
because our parents want us to pass.
ironic.
Making age a determining factor as to whether or not they are wise.
"I would advise you not to judge me,
for have you ever even tried,
to fit into my shoe?
i suppose not"

Firing shot guns at an individual in reflection to their skin tone,
using animals as testing products and ignoring sightings of UFOS.
Incredible brains rotting away;
in a country not so far from away from us,
water is 1000 miles off from home,
yet, in the next city there's a KFC
irony once more.

There are unnoticed souls
who are only craving kindness.
Noticed souls whom only desire to benefit themselves.
this human race
is a disgrace.
This human race is an ironic mess,
now after taking your time to read this,
forwardit to your friend and laugh.
because thats what humans do

The sound of a heart breaking is by far
the most pain inducing sound I have felt.
It's horrible really.
The instant nausea.
The tensing of your entire body.
The shakes.
The red hot fury.

However, the pain of a heart breaking-
-it is the 8th wonder of the world.
It's unbearable,
The internal suffering is so painful.
You would **** for it to stop.

Your heart strings snap with each little heart break,
-I feel nauseas.
and each time one snaps,
your whole body lurches.
your bones dry up.
your hair falls out.
your skin fades away.
you are left with nothing,
nothing but the internal suffering.

Knowing I have to experience this same heartbreak
when I wake
-if I sleep
my whole body tenses.
the twisting of my intestine crushes me.
it feels as though
i have been stabbed
from the
inside
out

it's almost impossible to smile,
let alone laugh.
I must, for i am not allowed
to have a broken heart.
i am being poisoned-
-i am sure to die soon,
although something tells me that i am going to suffer.
life choices