I climbed up the third nearest hill
to watch the sun set,
on the day that you said
you love me..
Alone before sundown with time to spare.

I hoped to catch it amber and full,
on a hungry mid-cycle race all the way up there -
where exactly, I did not seem to care.
You disarmed me.
And on trial I were.

Alas my time wasn't worth it.
The sun hid behind thick layers of cloud,
the wind picked up and I could sense the rain coming.
It kissed me.
A bypassing train covered all other sound.

And to think I quite longed to hear this,
as if I didn't already know.
The forces of nature felt like an omen.
A warning,
against a tempting last straw.

Not sure how long I ended up sat there,
but Venus rose up to wish me goodnight.
If this is a test,
I’m determined to pass it.
An omen at half-light always means no.

Today I recalled the words of my father
stood at the door dignified, as he was.
Wasting my time writing lines, he said I was,
behind dusty old glasses from a hard day’s work.
If only I had refused to succumb
to decades of doubting my very self-worth
since that heart-stopping moment deep in my mind’s mines
Now how great a Poet could I have become?

I hiked up the highest hill
To watch the sun go down
On your birthday
On a not quite full moon of April

I stared right in it with such thrill
And felt the blood neon colours
Of your departure
Rush through my veins and freezing me still

Stood in awe of this miracle I promised I will
Find an aperture
As I’m about to take on this solo adventure
Of a lifetime of dreams I’ve yet to fulfil.

Hey...
Someone hear me -
now that he’s gone,
he’s gone for good.
Someone see me
through this airless night,
for the monster I am when I turn out the light..
Someone believe me...
when I say my thoughts are stark,
treacherous and dark.
Someone tell me,
a kind word or
a soft humming song.
Someone hold me -
back from tempting abuse,
for I’m dying to cut loose.
Someone give me -
a half arsed wave or a fraudulent smile,
a ******* reason to stay alive.

I loved you since you first laid eyes on me,
Since that very first invite over for tea,
Silly 'tash -
with just a dash of caramel wax..

Did I trip and fall
on the curb or on you that very first night?
Whichever floats your boat -
And then you fell for me too,
a few steps further, with all your chivalrous might.

You learnt me so well, now you get to remind me
how I'm no good at all with goodbyes..
All this time I'd forgotten about it,
busy trying to unpick all our hows and our whys.

Drive off to your bright new life, will you -
As my figure gets smaller in your rear view mirror..
I can't wait to meet you for tea when you're eighty;
Our promise, my true love, my best friend, my matey.