I’m alone.
Not completely, but alone.
I simply can’t get rid of
This monstrous feeling.

I hate it,
I feel less than a human when I think of it.
I can’t stop seeing those imaginary signs,
That scream “You’re not needed”.

I try to stay positive:
Smile at people,
Laugh with people,
Support people.

But it doesn’t help.
I’m still alone in a crowd of people.
I’m still alone texting my mate.
I’m still alone when I’m alone.

And I feel like a coward.
I don’t want to ruin other’s mood,
So I do not.
Instead, I ruin mine.

It’s so inspiring: to live.
To sense,
To hear,
To see life.

Nothing’s certain,
Nothing’s ordinary,
Nothing’s a fact
Though nothing’s a lie.

The world’s so different,
So incompatible
Yet all of it moves on
Together.

And in every bit of that ‘together’,
There’s something to learn,
Something to feel,
Something to love.

Remember, we live in a universe that doesn’t.  repeat itself.
You cannot be identical to anyone else.
So sharpen your gaze just a bit more
To see what really makes us us.

Your slim body,
Your gentle movements,
Your angelic eyes
Are all a part of our last dance.

It’s messy,
Wild,
Hot,
Amusing.

I was thirsty for you;
I still am.
Our bodies link —
We are dancing in sync.

I see the sorrow in your eyes,
Mixed up with euphoria from the drinks you had.
I can feel my body full of you.
I can sense your body full of me.

I watch your fragile hand,
Moving to the beat of music.
I look at my own —
It’s following yours.

Every move you do,
I copy.
Every feeling you have,
I have.

I’m not able to let go.
I’m too addicted to let you free.
Your suffering from it,
I know.

But the moment had come
And you part from my hand.
You distance so quickly,
And I’m left here with a hole in my heart.

My seat is cold and rusty,
My clothes are old and *****
But I feel them beside me
And that don’t matter anymore.

I look around me,
I stop,
I breath,
I smile.

Though it’s not a casual one,
It’s the one I’ve never felt before.
The one that truly says: I’m me;
The one that has no pain.

I taste the food,
I watch the telly,
I talk to them
And they with me.

It’s a thing I’ve never had.
A thing big and united
And happy
And real.

My heart beats faster,
My eyes tear up
Yet not of sorrow
But of something else.

Something I’ve been chasing,
Something I’ve been seeing all around,
Something I’ve been jealous of.
Something which is…

Home?

I heard crickets today
I heard them every night and day.
I heard lazy conversations in French
To the sound of reggae and a glass of rosé.

I smelt the freshness of Mont-Saint-Victoire
And dryness of the ground beneath my feet.
Smelt the distinct odour of oil paint in the distance,
Creating a new 'œuvre d'art’.

I touched a rough stone wall, covered with dust and dead leaves
It seemed sharp against my fingers but I only smiled.
I felt the soft fur of a stray cat
It hissed at me but didn't move a limb.

My tongue tingled from the bitter sweet bubbles of apple cyder,
Tingling my throat and warming my chest.
I took another sip and it ran through my body,
Relaxing every muscle.

My eyes were half closed yet still focused.
I saw children running around,
I saw old houses leaning one side
I saw Vauvenargues.

The sun is caressing your face.
Your frown and your wrinkles deepen:
You never liked its rays.
But I did — on you.

You hated your body, your tongue, your music
But oh! How wrong were you?
Your body impressed me, your tongue sweetened me
And your music…

It brought life to me.
I hum your tunes all around and people call me mad,
But they just haven’t heard your songs, yet.
And I swear if they did, they would be just as mad as you and I.

And I know this sounds cheesy
But I just can’t fall asleep without your gentle strumming on my old Gibson.
Hell, I can’t even play. I bought it just to impress you.
And I hope I did

Because today was the last day I’ve heard your music.

There’s always a place
Where you don’t feel safe
To say who you are
And to show them yourself.

You find it sooner or later:
Some stay there for long,
Some leave ‘s fast as they can.
The point is — everyone knows it.

I’ve been there.
It wasn’t exactly like that
But every day that I hoped that the day would be sunny
Ended up being just like a stormy one.

I felt alone,
Abandoned
And hurt
But I still fought to stay strong.

And I was, people said,
Though I didn’t feel it.
In the end, no one won —
They thought of it as a show.

The morale is: don’t give up,
You won’t always win,
But a new step in life will surely come
And your bitterness will be replaced by something better

Just like mine did.