How do I hate you
And then suddenly forget
The things you did to me
Left me crying in my bed
All the slammings and bangings
I took to the ground
Wiped all away
No memories found
You think its okay
Its part of parenting
Creating the fear
Burning inside of me
Flames that continue to grow
Leaving me with no escape
Just a piece of rope

I wake up some days
When I forget the pain
Only to hear you screaming my name
Guess some things never change
I used to tell myself
That you treated me fair
Just like the others
But then the threats kept coming
No wonder why I was struggling
To keep my mind in check
your hands from my neck
Eventually I fell
And deep it was
Into a world full of hatred and anger
I never felt more true
You dont even notice
You have no clue
Of my depression and hate
It cannot be tamed
I may forget sometimes
I hate you
And that will never change
a returning feeling is alive again

Okay, I won't say what my eyes saw
I won't say what my ears heard
But I would say what my heart felt
And I would speak what my soul feels today
---

A road, again, walked on and on
This road leads to a world
Where thoughts stream seamlessly
Towards the radiance of the sun

And I walk, step by step,
Often distracted by the signs,
I encounter as I walk

But many times, I keep on going on
without caring about
the signs I encountered,
I ignored them through
And I just see ahead upon the road
The scenery itself that I leave behind
And i keep walk onwards

This road is endless
It seems it has no end

But I walk and walk on it
I walk it with my words
Sometimes I feel breathless
And take a break
Upon the sidewalk,
Until I start to walk again
Towards a journey I cannot explain

But my souls feels like an explorer
Like I have discovered the greatest lands
Where pastures abound, greens everywhere!
Waterfalls falling, rivers flowing,
Eagles flying up up above in the sky
So much beauty,
That I can only feel but not write.

I lie on the scarred battle field
with bloodied arms and legs
listening to the whistling of the shells
the explosions rock the ground

I see my comrades around me
lying unmoving on the mud
my feeble cries for help
land on deaf ears

The sound of whirring wakes me
a man in a white over coat
moves slowly closer
holding out his hand
as if at a meeting

I wake again
along and in a bed
the doctor comes in to see me
his pale face shows sorrow

As I stand alone in the rain
by the big stone monument
I shed a tear and think
how close it was
for one of them
to be me

My heart is a plaything
On a length of tattered string,
Batted at by paws
With unrestrained claws.

Dying love in a gilded cage,
Imprisoned by my pent up rage.
You never loved me, but neither did I,
The last gift you gave was the gift of goodbye.

I'll look for him
The park dweller
When our way of life
Is at an end

When all the stored
Material possessions
Don't mean anything

Just food and water
Shelter too
That will be all that matters

There was never much here
For us on this earth
We seemed out of time
Out of place
Wandering without desire

We had the sunrise
And the sunsets
The hours walking
And lounging about

He had a check
I think he received
For food

I think he is
A Vietnam veteran

Like me he enjoyed reading

And so we sat at the park
And ate red grapes

And watched the various
Mushroom clouds
As the atomic bombs
Struck downtown Los Angeles

"So I guess this is the end,"
I said

"Oh well," he said
"It was nice while it lasted"

I agreed

I wonder,
when I’m 70,
what I’ll think of the boy,
who broke my heart at 17