IF THIS MY GOODBYE
SO BE IT
IF YOU FIND THIS
JUST KNOW
I LOVE YOU
WHOLEHEARTEDLY
MY DECISION
MY LIFE
YOU COULDN'T STOP SHEIT IF YOU TRIED
PROBABLY WOULD HAVE MADE ME STAY ANOTHER DAY
AND MAYBE ANOTHER DAY AFTER THAT
BUT EVENTUALLY YOU WOULD HAVE GREW TIRED
AND EVENTUALLY I WOULD HAVE TOO
I NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER BEFORE
LOOKING FOR FLOWERS TO BLOOM
IN PLACES THAT NEEDED FIXING
OR I THOUGHT NEEDED FIXING
FOR THAT MATTER

I HATE IT HERE SOMETIMES
THIS PLACE IS NO PLACE FOR ME
BECAME SENSITIVE TO EVERY TOPIC
BECAME SCHIZ EVEN
WAITING FOR YOU TO COME HOME

HOME
BECAME FURTHER THEN I THOUGHT
I JUST KEPT SPIRALING
SENSITIVE BECAUSE SHEIT GOT REAL
AND TEARS STARTED FLOWING
EVER SINCE THAT CALL CAME
I BECAME DISTANT
THAT OUTER BODY EXPERIENCE
WAITING FOR YOU
TO GET BACK
FELT LIKE I ENTERED ANOTHER
DIMENSION
LOST
TRYING TO GET BACK
EVERY TIME I HELD YOU
I FELT THIS DISCONNECT
WITH BEING PRESENT
I CRIED THE LOUDEST
YET NO ONE HEARD ME
EVERYDAY
FELT MIXY
I TRUSTED YOU
GOT ME
KILLED
****
YOU GOT ME
I HOPE YOU FEEL ACCOMPLISHED
WHY ME
OVERPLAYED
LIKE AN UNRELEASED BEAT
YOU HAD NOTHING TO LOSE
I FELT PLANTED
IT WAS **** ME WHEN IT RAIN
OUTTA STATE
OUTTA MIND
FEELING BODIED
DRIVING THE BOAT
PRAYING IT DON'T SINK
PRAYING THIS RAIN DON'T LAST FOREVER
HOW IT SUNNY OUTSIDE
AND ALL I FEEL IS RAIN
DRIVING THE BOAT
YET IN OUTER SPACE
MIND SPEEDING
IF ONLY I SMOKE THAT
THERE WOULD BE A LOT OF SMOKE IN THE AIR
IF I LEAVE NOW
THERE AIN'T NO COMING BACK

WEIGHING EVERYTHING
BECAME TIRESOME
I BLAMED MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
TOOK A HOLD ON THAT SINGLE THOUGHT
I THOUGHT
FOR SO LONG
AFTER THAT

DISCONNECTED TO RECONNECT
DISCONNECT TO FEEL
RECONNECTED
YET YOU STILL LINGERED IN MY MIND
I AM LIVID FOR SPEEDING
MAYBE IF I SLOWED DOWN
YOU WOULD HAVE MISSED ME


WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE ME LIKE THIS
WHEN I FEEL LIKE I'M AT MY LOWEST
TOO WEAK
TO WANTING TO GET UP SOMETIMES
I RATHER JUST STAY HERE
FAKING THAT SMILE KNOWING THAT SHEIT
WEIGHING ON ME

FELL TOO MANY TIMES
TRYING TO GET YOU TO
COMPREHEND ME
IT BECAME TIRESOME
I MISS YOU LIKE VACATION
THIS THAT YOU NEED STOMACH FOR
THIS THAT YOU READY HOLD ON
TRYING TO HOLD ON MYSELF

TO FAST FORWARD
I FINALLY MADE IT HOME
BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG
HOME FEELS FOREIGN
HOME DON'T FEEL LIKE IT DID BEFORE
SO I'M ALWAYS OUTSIDE
TRYING TO STAY OUT MY CONSCIOUS

SMOKE THAT DRILL THIS
THIS CONSTANT FEELING OF NOTHING CHANGING
HOME SUPPOSE TO FEEL WARM
HOME SUPPOSE TO FEEL SAFE
WHERE HOME AT
WHEN YOU ALWAYS IN OUTER SPACE


NOT SUICIDAL
THIS AIN'T NO SUICIDAL NOTE
NOT SUICIDAL
JUST CURIOUS ON
THE KILLER ME
NOT SUICIDAL
I JUST MISS ME

THE DEMONS YOU CAN’T HIDE
I KNOW YOU HURTING DEEP INSIDE
I KNOW THAT FAKE SMILE
HOLDS A LOT
I COULD TELL BY YOUR EYES
YOU NEED HEALING
I COULD TELL BY YOUR MIND
EVERYTHING FOR YOU IS MISLEADING
TRYING TO PIECE PIECES ON TOP OF PIECES
WHILE MIND SPEEDING
MIND ALWAYS RACING
ONE THING TO KEEP IN MIND IS TO
ALWAYS HAVE PATIENCE
HAVING WITHDRAWALS TRYING NOT TO GO
BACKWARDS
SO YOU UP
THINKING TO YOURSELF
LET’S SEE HOW FAR I CAN GO
BEFORE I CRASH
HOPING I MAKE IT FURTHER THIS TIME
I CAN’T LOOK BACK NOW
I MADE IT SO FAR
FEELINGS IN DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS
GOING THROUGH DIFFERENT EMOTIONS
PIECES WITHIN MORE PIECES
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MESS
I CALL ART
A MASTERPIECE IN THE MAKING
WHEN I EXPRESS
I BREAK DOWN
EVERY SO OFTEN
THROUGHOUT MY NIGHTS
THROUGHOUT MY DAYS
THIS FEELING HURTS
I AM HAPPY FOR MY FUTURE ENDEAVORS
I DESERVE THIS
AND SIMULTANEOUSLY
DEEP DOWN I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN
INTERNALLY
AND AS I FOCUS
I FEEL EVERY BIT OF
EVERYTHING
I AM LIVID
I AM DISGUSTED
WITH MYSELF
FOR ALLOWING THINGS TO ALTER
LOOKING AT MY REFLECTION
AS I SPIRALED
I WENT COMPLETELY BLACK
I SUNK
I WASN’T ME
I WAS IN A DARK PLACE FOR A YEAR
FOR THE TIME I SPENT THERE
IT MADE ME STRONGER
NOW IM DEFEATING MY DEMONS
IM WARRIOR
IM BECOMING EVERYTHING I WANT TO BE
THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF
SCULPTING EVERY BIT OF ME
STARTING WITH MY MIND
THIS JOURNEY ISN’T GOING TO BE EASY
WE BOTH ARE AWARE OF IT
YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT
YOU ARE IMPORTANT
YOU WEIGHT
YOU MATTER
EVEN WHEN YOU SINK
EVEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU CANT
YOU CAN
AND THERE ARE GOING TO BE
DAYS
EASIER THAN OTHERS
NIGHTS
HARDER THAN OTHERS
AND WHEN YOU FALL
FROM SUCH HEIGHTS
DON’T GIVE UP
STAY STRONG
LOVE YOURSELF
FORGIVE YOURSELF
EVERY SINGLE TIME
TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
WHEN NEEDED
FIGHT FOR YOURSELF
LIKE YOU FIGHT FOR OTHERS
THEY NEED YOU
SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF
BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME
DON’T LET THE PAST HOLD YOU BACK
OF YOUR BLESSINGS
LET GO OF ANYTHING THAT’S HINDERS YOU
THE ONLY
THAT CLOSURE YOU THINK YOU NEED IS JUST TAKING
STEPS FORWARD
AND NEVER LOOKING BACK
A DAY AT A TIME
WE GOT THIS
THROUGH TRAILS & TRIBULATIONS MADE 
FOR LESSONS LEARNED
AND SO MUCH MORE TO GAIN
❤️‍🩹

BUT THESE BUTTERFLIES CREATE FEELING
SUCH GREAT FEELING
YOUR PERSONA / AURA QUIET
BUT I BET YOUR MIND LOUD

AND
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE NOBODY'S REACHING
JUST KNOW YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
ALWAYS
I'LL COME RUNNING
I KNOW PAIN
& IT'S NOTHING NICE
DIFFERENT STORIES
MAYBE
BUT ITS ALL PAIN
NO MATTER WHICH PIECES YOU HAVE
OR MAY HAVE LOST

I WANT TO GIVE YOU ALL OF ME BECAUSE
I CAN'T DO HALF *** FEELINGS
SOMETIMES I WANT TO EXPRESS MYSELF
OTHER DAYS I DON'T WANT TO SHOW ANY EMOTIONS
KISS MY MIND GENTLY
SLOWLY

I DON'T WANT TO BE ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANY
GOOD INTENTIONS FOR MY LIFE
NO PLACE HERE FOR ANYTHING
DRAINING, STAGNANT, OR MISLEADING 
I WANT TO BE LOVED ENTIRELY
KNOWING MY FLAWS
WANTING TO BECOME A
BETTER VERSION FOR MYSELF
UNTIL I CAN'T ANY LONGER


SO MUCH TIME WASTED
ON
PEOPLE NOT REALLY KNOWING THEMSELVES
NOT KNOWING ANYTHING BUT EVERYTHING
OR FOR THAT MATTER OF SECOND GUESSING EVERYTHING
THAT FEELS RIGHT
BECAUSE IN A COLD WORLD
THAT FEELING RIGHT JUST DOESN'T SIT RIGHT WITH THEM ANY LONGER
BECAUSE WITH EVERYTHING THAT FELT RIGHT
SHIFTED LEFT

CONGRATULATIONS YOU DONE PLAYED YOURSELF


SIMULTANEOUSLY FEELING EVERYTHING
ALL AT ONCE
FROM NOT WANTING TO FEEL ANYTHING

MOST DAYS
CAN BECOME DARK FAST
NOT WANTING TO FEEL ANYTHING
JUST SO THERE'S LESS PIECES OF ME SCATTERED
A PIECE OF ME WILL FOREVER REIGN 
& I'LL FOREVER NOT EVER BE THE SAME
I ACCEPTED THAT
FEEL LIKE I WANT TO DROWN WHEN I TAKE A SHOWER
AND OTHER DAYS FEELING UNSTOPPABLE
ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE I FEEL PIECES
WITHIN PIECES THAT HELD A PIECE OF ME
TRAILS & TRIBULATIONS MADE 
FOR LESSONS LEARNED
AND SO MUCH MORE TO GAIN

Hottest Summer turned to the coldest Winter
Drinking all this liquor, it keep me burning ruining my liver
Oh I can’t sleep
Hell is loving you in my sleep and waking up alone
I met you in my dreams
Stories were untold
Told me
We were going to have better days
Oh how much I love sleep
Oh how much I can’t sleep
Can’t accept that you only exist when my eyes closed
Time ran fast when my eyes closed
Thought we were close
I would wait for you
You never showed
After that heated argument
You never showed
Now I have  no one to hold me while I sleep
Now I hate sleep
So tired I lost track of time
Time ran slow without you
Parts of me feels like I can’t do this without you
So many letters I lost track of that too
Days ahead still not over you
I want to continue dreaming
I want to Dream forevermore
& now I drown my body in caffeine
Trying not to dream
Knowing that the farther I am
The weight becomes light
And I can breathe again
Blurred vision with tears blinding me
Ever felt heavy heart
Ever felt distorted thoughts ruining you
Tearing you apart
Knowing you kept me whole
Connection bond through body & soul

The frequency rains to such tone
That only grasp meaning
Of the heartfelt person you are
So deep beyond measures
Where words piece themselves naturally
And I look at your pieces
And my pieces
And think to myself
There are so many pieces
Pieced together in such ways
Peace is longing for
Wishing I could make all the hurt go away
Wishing the times you felt alone
I could hold you until you become
A flower

I'll never forget how beautiful you are
Every time I don’t see you
I think about every detail of you
Starting from the inside

As broken as I am
Turning every situation left
As if love has left
And I’m trying to love yet
My heart is Harden
The possibilities of it being played with is endless
My mind says
So delicate my heart
Be gentle with my heart
I ask of you to kiss my mind
With your eyes and let your lips
Sync to the melodic getaways
Let it play out
Until the seasons repeat
Let it play out
Until forever more
That I want to give it to you
but I’m sensitive to every situation
Dealt with it all in the past
Not wanting to come across another project
Trying to piece my heart together
Simultaneously finding myself
Wondering
Why I could never get anything right
Look at the waves how wild they can become
Yet so soft sometimes
Underneath lies a larges amount of nothing more
But it depends how you look at it
There is free Hillary written all over my canvas
The pen ran dry
The words remain the same with vivid details
Safe me
Reflected on her eyes
My own eyes
Your voice calms the wild
Throughout the storms
So soft spoken you are
So driven with your art
So multi talented *** you
I’ll let you tell it
Synced in with the melodic getaways
The energy so fire yet water nor anything can put it out

Leaving me with so much on my mind
I can't believe I roared the loudest in silent times and as time goes
On I realized I would have
Never been strong without loving myself first

NOT SURE IF I WANT TO  RUN FAST
SOMETIMES I FIND MYSELF
LOOKING BACK IN THE PAST
BUT I CAN’T STAY HERE ANY LONGER 
THIS PLACE IS NO PLACE FOR ME
I SWEAR I’M BUILT DIFFERENT
I SWEAR I’M NOT LIKE THESE OTHER *******
NO CLOTH HERE BUT YOU FEEL THE
TENSION
THIS THAT SHEIT THAT GET YOU 
TO THE FIFTH DIMENSION
ITS THAT GET YOUR MIND RIGHT
THIS THAT HAVE YOUR MIND TRIPPIN
FOREVER MISSING
THIS THAT GET YOU HIGH
FEELING REALLY LIFTED
THIS THAT FEELING EVERYTHING
ALL AT ONCE TYPE FEELING
I COULD TELL BY YOUR EYES
YOU NEED HEALING
I COULD TELL BY YOUR MIND
EVERYTHING FOR YOU IS MISLEADING
TRYING TO PIECE
PIECES ON TOP OF PIECES WHILE MIND SPEEDING
MIND ALWAYS RACING
ONE THING TO KEEP IN MIND IS TO
ALWAYS HAVE PATIENCE
YOU COULDN’T GAIN WASTED TIME
IF YOU WANTED TO
THERE’S JUST CERTAIN SHEIT
WE GOT TO GO THROUGH
FOR THE BETTER VIEW
THE BETTER ANGLE
WHERE YOUR MIND AT 
ITS NOTHING YOU CAN’T HANDLE
THIS THAT WE MAKE THE BEST
FROM WHAT WE GOT
IT MIGHT NOT BE A LOT TO YOU
BUT I’M HIGHLY THANKFUL
THIS THAT
HOLD ON
THIS THAT AND THE THIRD
WE REALLY DIFFERENT
NOT SURE IF YOU COULD TELL
THE DIFFERENCE 
HOW COULD YOU BE LIVING
IF YOU NOT RIGHT WITH YOURSELF
TIME TO GET RIGHT WITH YOURSELF
TIME TO LET GO OF ANYTHING THAT
IS HOLDING YOU BACK
MIND GOING THROUGH BRUTAL ATTACKS
HOLD ON
THIS THAT NATURAL SHEIT
THIS THAT
YOU WATER ME 
I WATER YOU
TYPE SHEIT
THIS THAT
WE AIN’T DONE YET
THIS THAT WE FORGIVE 
BUT NEVER FORGET
**** ITS THAT HARD
**** WE GOT TO GO THAT HARD
WE ON A MISSION
I SEE THE POTENTIAL
I SEE AMBITION
SCULPTING MYSELF ONLY TIME WILL TELL
THIS IS THE BEGINNING
LET THAT SINK IN
I SWEAR EVERYDAY IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT
THERE’S NO PLACE HERE
FOR IGNORANCE
SOME GRASP SO MUCH
YET NOTHING
SOME COULD BE SO DISGUSTING
CHOOSE WISELY
LET THEM TALK SPICY
DON’T LET THEM GET TO YOU
THIS THAT INNER PEACE
ALWAYS LEAVE WITH SOMETHING
THEY NOT USED TO
FOCUS YOUR ENERGY ON WHAT MATTERS
NO DEGREE BUT THEY GOT THEIR MASTERS
SHEIT ALL SEE THROUGH
NOTHING NEW
THEY WITH YOU WHEN YOU UP
NEVER SEEN SO MUCH MAKEUP
THIS THAT SAME RACE
LEARN TO HAVE PATIENCE
SOMETIMES IT MAY CAUSE FRUSTRATION
FEEL LIKE YOUR TIME STAY WASTING
ITS THAT FOCUS ON THE DESTINATION
GO YOUR OWN SPEED
GO YOUR OWN PACE
THIS THAT SAME RACE
DON’T BE IMPATIENT
THIS THAT CHOOSING ME FIRST THIS TIME
THIS TIME ROUND
WE DIGGING DEEP STARTING FROM
THE UNDERGROUND 
ITS THAT WE TAKING OUR TIME 
THIS THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF
THIS THAT GREAT FEELING
ITS THAT ZEN

I NO LONGER STRESS ANYTHING 
MY HAPPINESS AND PEACE OF MIND
OVER EVERYTHING
NOTHING LIKE A WILD
LIFE
NO RARA
JUST PEACE
LET GO
RELEASE
LET GO AND SEEK
ALL THINGS EVEN WHEN YOUR MIND IS WEAK
THIS IS A FOREVER THING
YOU GOING TO FEEL EVERYTHING
THIS IS A PROCESS OF SELF HEALING
CONNECT WITH YOUR INNER FEELINGS
REFLECT ON IT
EVERY BIT
EVERY OUNCE
ALL OF IT COUNTS
EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T THINK IT DON'T
YOU GOT TO BE REAL WITH YOURSELF
LET IT BE WELL KNOWN
YOU HAVE TO WANT IT FOR YOURSELF FIRST
SHEIT COULD BE A LOT WORSE
DON'T LET YOUR MIND CONFINE YOU
DON'T LET THAT SHEIT EAT YOU

IF YOU HAD A SIGN
A TOKEN THAT CHANGED YOUR LIFE
WOULD YOU TAKE THE CHANCE
WOULD YOU LET IT CHANGE YOUR LIFE
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU MY TOKEN WAS MY VOICE
WOULD YOU TAKE THE CHANCE AND LISTEN
IF YOU HAD A CHOICE
THIS THAT HIGH FEELING REALLY LIFTED
THIS THAT GREAT FEELING THIS THAT VISION
THIS THAT WE SPEAK SHEIT INTO EXISTENCE
SOME CAN'T STAND THE HEAT SO THEY DISTANCE
NO PETTINESS HERE
THAT AIN'T NOTHING NICE
YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU'LL SEE THEM TWICE
THINKING YOU'LL SEE THEM TWICE
WHY WOULD YOU MATCH NEGATIVE ENERGY
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WASTE YOUR TIME
GROWTH IS ESSENTIAL
I SEE THE POTENTIAL
KEEP GOING NEVER STOP
YOU DESTINED YOU BOUND
PICTURE YOURSELF AT THE TOP
BLESSINGS ON TOP OF MORE BLESSINGS
CAREFUL WHO YOU KEEP AROUND

NATURALLY EXPRESSING YOUR FULL ESSENCE WITH THE
ABILITY TO OPEN UP TO YOU, HAVING THE
KEY FOR YOU TO SHOW ME ALL OF YOU, I WANT TO SEE, FEEL, HEAR, TASTE, 
EVERYTHING; YOU HOLD THAT
DIAMOND PIECE THAT GEM
NEVER HAD I
EVER
SEEN SUCH A BEAUTIFUL
SOUL

Delicate flower you
I love the way you dance & sway to the wind
I love how you do your own thing
And when it rains
I love how your petals look afterwards
Look
How pretty your curls
How vibrant you are
Your golden skin
I want to kiss all over your favorite parts
Every bit of You is my favorite part

BEAUTIFUL LIES WERE YOUR TRUTH
EVENTUALLY I GREW
TIRED OF ALL OF THE
REASONS YOU GAVE
AND FOCUSED ON MYSELF BECAUSE
YOU ONLY CARED 
ABOUT YOURSELF
LOYALTY FIRST LOVE, ALWAYS

I miss you Texas
I miss you last year
Look how everything changed
****
Yet your feelings didn’t
Texas hot summer
Became Alaska Freeze
Took my heart, it froze and broke
How do you fix that
If you know, inform me
I thought it was suppose to feel warm
Laid back
Mind left
Not thinking of you
Wanted to make something
You wanted nothing
Heart done froze
Yet its warm now
And I’m gone now
No feelings left
Yet I’m kinda stuck now
Gotta go can’t stay stagnant now
You first right
I’m choosing me always
Me first always
I love me many firsts before this cold world
I’m not part of
I’d deserve real love
I’d deserve the world and some if you ask me
Thought you would have known
I was strongly mistaken
Its easy to switch water with *****
And maybe I was too depressed to smell
But **** I was damaged
Sheit slipped like time
I tired to go back
Right where I had none left
So I started walking forward now
Went back trying to find time
And you could never get that sheit back
Sheit got real
My feeling dried out
A hot girls summer
She works hard for hers
She loves herself the most
When no one else would
Started living Zen
Thank God everyday for him he’s a wise man
**** money
Where your mind at
***** funds
Where your mind at
Focusing on  all the wrong things
Baby girl trying to build and
You focused on yourself
You don’t really love her
You just want the Kat
Confront yourself *****
Thats where your minds at
**** Money
**** Drugs
Where your mind at
Shorty was really digging you
Somewhere deep is where her mind at
Clouded mind Clouded mind
Oh she loves hates her mind
Trying to get right
When everything else went left
I never heard or seen em
Left so quiet
Abandonment situation left cold
Abandonment situation
Wherever no matter where she go
Where your mind at
Where your mind at
Starting living Zen
Only time and time again
Living the luxury
You don’t know anything about
Where your mind at
Where your mind at

Her tired mind aches for what she still struggles with
Everyday is silent chaos,
Silent because it’s all in her mind
Silent because it slithers and it destroys her internal
She lives her life running from everything
Trying to hide but no matter where she goes
Her mind knows her best
some days are filled with happiness
Yet she always wanted Joy

As she speaks her voice cracks
It shakes
As her lips begin to move
In such ways she never imagined
She spoke truth
She fell in love with herself

She grew into the most Beautiful
And she couldn’t be found//

Build you everyday
Most battles are inside your head
Don’t let your mind confine you
Defeat your demons
When you feeling weak
That’s when you are your strongest
Pain is temporary
Every scar
For every story of its own
Losing some
To gaining plenty
Trust your intuition
Remember that
You were made to win
You were made to conquer

She grew into the most Beautiful
and she can't be found

I’m no ordinary artist
I love to get ***** simultaneously being creative for an ear to listen and an eye to see

Feel my heart beat skips beats
Touch my mind gently
******* words I choose wisely
See my tears as they slither slow yet run quick
Hear them hit hard like missiles

If I would to tell you a secret would you keep it
I choose my words as if my life depended on it

Choose wisely  permanent words


You ain’t alone
That voice inside your head

You ain’t invited but you making all the rules
Had me fooled
Save your sorries
I know you ain’t sorry
You know the saying:
Different day same story
Same old story
Telling me all these lies

Waiting till
I don’t know why I’m waiting still
Butterflies in my stomach
The not knowing
There ain’t no love here
Stop seeking
Stop wanting
There to be something that has no growth for you
Child
Let me tell you something
What dies doesn’t grow
You can’t water a dead plant
Let me hold you
Let me hold you tight
I know your heart feels heavy now
I know you understand but as you look at this
In the present but this is your past now
Understand I know this wasn’t easy
It never is
Take your time
Feel how you feel
Don’t numb the pain
Express your pain
Let it out
Let it all out
Everyone experiences pain
In there own shape pain

“Everyone’s experiencing pain
Experiencing pain
In there own shape pain
In there own shape pain”

Let me wipe your tears
Baby girl I know your heart feels heavy
I know you can’t mask the thought
I know it hurt
I know you hurt
I know you scared

“I know you sacred baby girl
I know your heart feels heavy
Oh It feels so heavy
Heavy

My thoughts so loud yet so silent
Be the light not the light switch
Control your thoughts don’t let it eat you
Baby girl you are so strong so beautiful
Your eyes let them see good
Although your going to see things that are going to surprise/ shock
Don’t let that shape how you view others
Not everyone shares the same motive
Your ears let them hear greatness
Control the sound.
Mute everything
Anything negative that distorts you in ways you feel bothered
For your mouth speak great power
Let your voice vibrate
Let your words disturb minds
Let it shake the room until the walls come tumbling down
Speak Volume
Your voice speaks value only speak TRUTH

There's too much to say
In a short amount of time
And she loses her words
And too much to say
Ends up too few
Because she gets nervous
And the butterfly wings
Are fragile
And her heart
Feels so too

I seen **** in the negative
Told me to loosen up and write all my positives

When I was done
It was gone

You were the world
You were my heart

Build a spaceship together
. . . Takeoff

Who knew time
Would come quick

Take you
****** you

Seems unreal still
My mind everything but still  

You seen potential
I seen more in you

Doubted myself
But never doubted you

A masterpiece
A beautiful piece
Exquisite piece

I need Peace
My wild thoughts
are silent

Silence played its part
In the empty rooms you no longer hold a part of

You told me you had me
Told me not to think so much
You left me to think sooo (****) much
****

I had you
Felt like you never had me
The way you should have had me

I knew mine:
Diamond piece
Beautiful piece
Wild
Exquisite Piece

That it is easily missed until there ain’t no one to treat you
(The way I did)
Its like a song on replay
But I let you listen to my unreleased

Yet you released
As if you didn’t know
The gem I held

II
The gem slipped through the folds
the tab began

Atmosphere held:

Good vibration
Raw Energy

Whereas
Vibes are temporary
While Energy is an everlasting Spark

Never dulls
But sharpens
Darkens
Ignites

Let it burn

Who ever knew that the ⚡️ Spark
Lost all its electricity current

Tell yourself lies to help you survive
Assume let it take over your mind

You build a suit so did I
Landed on the same planet
Different Levels
You can only imagine

Through all this I hope you didn’t forget about
The Spaceship
It became unfunctional
(Throughout time)

Find me intertwined with my favorite tunes and you adding a piece that I never knew existed until now

Let it:

Flow
Break down
Excite you whole
Take over your mind
Get lost in the depths of loving yourself

The beauty in all things
For the reason it goes
Drives me
Experience discomfort
Let it bring out everything from the chaotic
Let the reflection of self remind you that you are Rare
That you can go to the unexpected anywheres
Escape from it and come with: fresh and new
That you may add to your growth that within yourself
You love every given piece seen and unseen
that you learn to rest your mind and seek what's on hold

Why do you feel so weak
asking you that question I know ruptures something inside of you mentally
Control the sound
Mute everything, anything negative that distorts
You in ways you feel bothered
That every second that goes by your heart races the same melody of it all

Let it be exposed
Let the light shine in the darkest places
Let it grow on its own
Let it be natural
Let it be beautiful
Let it hold value
Let it not steal your mind nor time--
Nakedness is everything it's pure and true
I love the essence
I love what makes you wild when it comes from your heart
I love when it's alive and free
I love it when you begin to flow
In ways it has to be said because
The firsts of everything in anything that you do make me love you more
I feel the rush excitement that you get
I feel the volume of your joy elevate 
It's the most high
It's You

Uncomfortable
causing or feeling slight pain or physical discomfort.

Comfort sometimes isn’t healthy or safe

I made myself
Erase any trace
That lead back
To the pieces  that was suppose to piece itself
Without me

In order to find Peace with my mind
So my wild thoughts can become silent
And so my unreleased is released to you

Understand this wasn’t easy
I had to for My sake

So this is my closure

This is 2014 “I want to be Happy“ part II
And Now I’m seeking everlasting joy
That energy not vibe

I want genuine
I want that Gold
I want everything
That I deserve but never got

Give me Loyalty not Love

(For I am)
A masterpiece
Beautiful piece
Diamond Piece
Wild
Exquisite Piece

I loved you in ways I thought loving you was right
I gave you everything
I loved you for you
& you, filled with euphoria began to see the world much differently
You never stopped searching

You’re so beautiful and your lips are to be kissed
and your body is for you to love
but first you must love yourself
and I gave you everything because you never asked
I fell in love with not only you
I fell in love with it
It was Joy

and you understood, for you I love

the stars were a blur
as I looked for the Moon

It never looked so beautiful

within the search I’ve felt bliss and beyond that I’ve felt a bit blue because although I’ve seen the Moon I’ve missed you more

this shall past of the seasons
the leaves will continue to fall every fall
and the sun would always be the sun
and you are changing with the madness mentally
as the chaos continues, it eats deep
leaving you naked with only the truth
of what you hold
the reasons why you grasp
isn't measure for words that exist only in the mind
only for you to be left with confusion and frustration
the seasons will past the world ages
and you have to learn to let go
for the best version of yourself in the near future  

there would be more to her name
meaning of bliss
that the days to come meant more days to feel more alive with the sunsets and excitement through process of learning
that each principle is taught only to help her grow as a person within herself. Within others.
that she will grow to love herself as her own being
love her skin and everything she came with

J.oy

The love stained every piece of me
It was Silent and chaotic simultaneously
The love that I imagined was a
Sense of euphoria through out my entire self
Seeking every book every anything
So it can fill every part that hasn't been touch or seen
I began to write, paint
Soon afterwards I turned to drugs
Is when I've finally
Felt the change within my poetry 
Within my painting
You gave it color, you brought it to life
You are my Medicine

I love the stories of successful powerful entrepreneurs that made it through everything without ever stopping to becoming where they are now and still getting where they want to be

Once you've made it to that point you wanted to be, you expand and grow and somewhere else becomes your new destination. It never stops because you begin learning new things and you come up with new ideas, new goals, etc.

Once you came from a destination to another one
You can accomplish anything, you did it once you can do it over again.
You will get a lot of NO'S before you start hearing YES'S
Failure doesn't have to be something negative
Every failure is a stepping stone to make you become a better You

There will be times where you want to QUIT
But that's when you have to fight the hardest and overcome that every moment and just keep fighting until you've made it to your destination
You have to push yourself even if no one else wants to work with you
Go to the places you said and thought
"I should talk to whoever is in charge"

This is easy, your not the only one
Remember your WHY and fight
Remember the reason why you choose to become an Entrepreneur

Work with your team or build your team and work together
Share ideas


Don't let fear stop you:
Make that phone call
Make that stop
Attend the meetings
Take notes
Follow up with people -always-
Write down everything
Wake up early
Get on the calls
Invite people over, present the business opportunity

Never prejudge EVER

Either:
Business partner
or
Customer
If not neither ask for referrals

Motivate yourself,
Move
Work it as a full time
Define it as part time
Make it fun
Don't stress yourself

It's okay to:
Get mad
Get sad
Then move on and get on track again

Some people will never get it
Others, you will need to get back to them


Following up, is where your money is at

Stay focus
Be sharp
Be yourself

Don't make up EXUSES for yourself

Do it because it's easy,
Its simply don't complicate
Do it because you don't want to,
but do it anyways because you know its beneficial to you

It wasn't meant for everyone so don't get stuck on that one person
Move on to the NEXT'S

Duplicate
Duplication is key
So is Consistency
So is Patience
Make this your everyday
Treat it as your business
Its your
Create your OWN hours
Use all your tools

Don't make **** up
Be honest

Change your "I should have's" to "I'm going to"

Grow your business
Help people

Do something product today
Not tomorrow, not next month
But right now

Work your business as if. . . .
inserts worse life scenario

Create success
Put God first, --Always--




Hillary Mercedes
L800424

The images were made to stand out
The poetry was made to be read aloud
The wine was to be sipped on, slowly
and You my dear, you were to listen
to the details of everything said
everything painted
because you were the reason for her
madness bliss

within the pages
There the art hung
There the words were placed so beautifully
The ideas were &BYOND;
The gaze into your eyes mattered the most
The connection within the words and images
Were by nature
Where it mostly started
The reason why I kept going
because the madness bliss.

The Madness bliss . . .
—It was Everything!—

the warmth of your lips touch upon mine
Reasons why I always went for more
maybe if I sip this I can let go of every memory of you
I should have known you weren't any good

Acts of kindness come in disguise
They're surprises unexpected
That create smiles within yourself
The silence of words
That the measures are with gestures

Perfecting the pictures of us
Remembering the times we had spent together
Overly thinking about the pain I've once felt
So many memories held in one single photo and I can't
Even think about putting it away

Chaos within the eyes
the silent cries
the "maybe's" and "what if's"
the long contemplation set in the mind
with the thought of the things most loved
its feeling mentally stuck
and wanting a elation feel to burn your face
That with a bit of blue there is more than 
sadness
its the chaos in between the seconds of
the waves crashing together
its the feeling one feels
when inspiration enters the mind
and relaxes your body

I either become Strong
Or I let it **** me

Sometimes things are  felt  without words

Sometimes things without  words  aren't felt

The words forever soaked in
The repetition was different
Every time I thought about it
Nothing was ever the same

With every thread reminding me
The pain I've felt within the early pages
Its all I have ever encountered
Its all I know

For the moments I have spend with you
I cherish
Within the repetition
I'll continue to say it until
it soaks in 
It might even get tiresome
I just want you to feel
everything
as of the deep breaths you take
when you seem to look up
and breathe in because
life seems great at the moment
because all it is really
is being with someone that gives you that spark
that always seem to drag to make fire
throughout our darkest nights
You remind me that I can do anything if I go for it
You're my every wind that creates the water to move
to create such beautiful waves
You truly are special 
You are my Sun as I'm your Moon --Always--

you looked at me 
(I look away)
I looked at you
(You look away)
and in between there was
A smile that stained my face
for the longest time
leaving me to melt

not opposites but halves

let me remind you
I love you for you
I love the way you are when your with me
building a safe home
for us both 
that one day we can 
see the world
that one day we can
make love
that with every full moon
that passes
I miss you more 
that when I see you it feels like I was waiting for the moon again
that within each day I dont see you
you are missed dearly
and I want you to know that
were each others halves instead of opposites
because you help me grow
within myself and with you
as the skies start to create wonders my mind expands filling it with more stars
and clouds and airplanes
with new destinations to help us grow within ourselfs within each other as well
each cracked smile whenever I think of you 
is great, elation just fills my whole canvas including my brain that above all your my King, you make me happy even when your not with me
that the misses are compared to the next full moon 
no matter if its just 48 hours
I never want you to forget my love, our love 
I have for you and we have for each other
within the eyes
the canvas is painted in the most beautiful way
that every brush and mark
came with patience and love

And so with every wave is made of the wind

I asked her to describe her mood by color
& she said "blue"
Then I asked her why she's sad
Responding
I'm not
I just love the way the ocean makes me feel
I love the water
So therefore "am blue"

Crashing waves
Washing away every color except for the mood I feel
As the sky,
Different hues of the waters
The sound is everything but still
Burning sun laying on my skin
Like the warmth of a hug,
So much elation I feel within
Stains a smile on my face,

From a far the waters aligns itself
And when
Closing my eyes
Visualizing what I seen
Sun beaming on me still
Hearing the waters going different directions
Hidden clouds up above
Moving from the wind

It's beyond what you see
Its also how it makes you feel
So therefore I love the hues
So therefore "am blue"

So many times I forgave you, I
Opened the door over and over again
Realizing and
Remembering
You always had something back to   say

Yesterdays rain
Yesterday's kisses
The hold
The caress
The touch
The every feel of being with you
Elates me

Because sometimes all we need is an explanation for these waves

because sometimes all we need is that breeze to make us understand patience

because as the wind causes the waves in between there's patience for the biggest waves 
yet to come

as life has it's positive side,
that not all waves are sad 
but built with euphoria for what's to come

You look for comfort
When your most not
And seek for better
when it seems not
Looking to feel that escape,
falling in love each and every time
You seem to lose yourself
Once again

sometimes you have to be vulnerable
and embrace everything
in order to live again
||

**Don't ever think your weak

I see diffeRent
I no longer sEe
myselF,
Lost
within Every
inCh looking up at
The mirror and
wantIng
tO scream until the pieces fell
uNto the floor, as I try to find myself

Listen,
Don't  let it eat you
Your stronger than that voice inside
Let it slowly die
It's time you begin to really live


                                                         ­                            ♥