In my dreams, the perfect man was sweet and kind.
In my dreams, he would be tall and mysterious in his own **** way.
In my dreams, we would fall in love the instant we locked eyes.
In my dreams, I would be happy on my own but happier with him.
In my dreams, we would never fight like my parents.
In my dreams, I'd never worry about him losing interest.
But now I've grown up and seen the evil in this world.
But now I've realized relationships aren't perfect.
But now I'm a troubled teen with no hope left to carry on.
But now I pushed out everyone, scared they will all leave and hurt me.
But then I met you.
You turned my life around for the better.
I learned life is rough but it gets easier with you by my side.
I learned to keep fighting because you're love is my strength.
I learned to let go of the past because you are my future.
I know what I am without you, and I don't want to ever go back to that.
I love you.
Will you be my forever?

what's it like to be happy,
but still always crying?
what's it like to be alive,
but still feel like dying?

what's it like to feel normal
when your "normal" is "ill"?
what's it like to be restless
but forced to sit still?

I'll tell you what it's like,
it's hell and a half,
to be 17 and fading
from rainbow to black.

watching yourself wither,
watching your mother cry,
tell me, what's the point in waking
when it hurts to be alive?

I try to hope for the best
but you know how it goes;
you can't smell the roses
through the blood from your nose.

It feels like God is picking on me,
saying "Haha look at you!
I'm going to give you the grandest dreams
but you'll be gone by 32."

But keep your head high,
and your shoulders never low,
so can you walk with courage into the fire
when it's finally time to go.