sensual enough to make car ***
seem romantic enough
to lose my mind at the very touch of one button...
-
something about the words
"no one, but you"
makes my nature of possessive seem reasonable,
right?
-
never thought i'd be lurking,
lusting,
tempted to fall on my knees at your feet
so you can meet me at that place again...
can you make space again?
within my walls,
behind doors that still await your release.

remember yourself for all that you are,
a beautiful child of the cosmos,
filled with strong feminine energies that can change the world.
goddess of love, light & acceptance.
angelic force of peace.
wild, chaotic & creative.
vibrant & earthbound.
beautiful with a mind made of stars,
& a body of the universe.
you CONQUER!
young on the earth,
old in the galaxies.
living two worlds but separated by a shimmering veil.
aware.
always safe in the arms of yourself.
become who you are meant to be.
embrace your female energy.

oddly enough,
i am oddly out of touch with this world.
i am weak & i am stuck in a whirl.
it’s love i seek,
but hate i find.
the raging anger makes me blind.
i am so lost and out of time.
-
they say do good and good comes back,
& ive been good yet still i lack.
maybe i should forget it all.
no one is here, no one to call,
to pick me up on days i fall.
im not enough.
-

i cant be amongst you to recreate you;
when you see me all you see is yourself.
all you see is your current situation,
the falling of a nation
that fell before it ever even fell.
too many spells casted,
too many guns blasted,
too many things drastic,
too many not matching the flow & the way.
so shine your light,
lead the way.
change your life,
change your ways.
this is life,
its amazing
if you see it with the eye,
and you feel it with the mind
then you free it with the heart
and connect the broken lines.
one with the earth,
you are aligned,
you are in touch.
you'll rise again,
you'll be okay,
don't self-destruct.

high energy flows,
i flow with it.
& where the energy goes,
i go with it.
im prolific,
im emitting light waves
and vibrations.
channeling the forces;
pure feels and
libations.
-
i'm the original,
celestial energy
individual.

are you even here?
were you ever here?
are you even clearing space?
where is this race taking you?
what words disrupt?
which words stand up hairs,
come in pairs?
free flow,
with no cares or no worries.

had to get up out my feelings,
get focused.
had to switch up all my moves,
new motives.
-
new direction,
new state of being.
new perception,
new ways of seeing.

it got hard for you to trace back the truth
when you decided fame, names, & particular things
hold more importance than roots.
to pin-point a location
or ask questions would be inaccurately pointless
& so your effort goes wasted.
-
your mass is in-tune at masters feet,
a mono-tonish cluster ****
where the masses sleep.
they move like sheep,
they scurry,
in too much of a hurry to give a **** about making peace.
-
while you seek leaders,
might i invoke considerate thought
of how you can be one.
become the change,
become the strange-odd one out.
become the one who uses word of mouth as tool,
only fools use weapons as schools.
start from the seed
then take the lead...

dont you open up your mouth.
dont you open up your mind.
dont you search for any answers,
dont you fear what you might find?
arent you afraid of looking crazy
or stepping out of the norm?
youre in a box,
youre in a cage and you have always been warned
to watch your mouth and watch your actions.
senseless movements and distractions in your view
to keep you hidden from truth.
the truth,
the true forbidden fruit.

dont you open up your mouth.
dont you open up your mind.
dont you search for any answers,
dont you fear what you might find?
arent you afraid of looking crazy
or stepping out of the norm?
youre in a box,
youre in a cage and you have always been warned
to watch your mouth and watch your actions.
senseless movements and distractions in your view
to keep you from truth,
the true forbidden fruit.

dont you pick upon that tree!
if you do then you will see
with vision that will set you free.
aware of all that you might be.
.... everything is everything.

now suddenly i have eyes that see in layers,
the ground has found its steadiness
& all my truths are written in stone;
never changing in context but always gaining new depth.
-

i know myself to be weak yet i am still so strong.
i know myself to be violent, but i am still so soft.
i know myself to be creative, yet i am always bored.
so understanding yet i lack understanding...

i can remember every moment, every detail and yet, sometimes i misplace my thoughts and i start to forget.
one day my mind is at a pace that i always regret and then i’m numb to every feeling.
one day i search for healing..
one day i care, one day i can care less.
one day i soak in solitude, and silence gives its best.
one day i seek attention, can i keep your attention? i’m caught up re-inventing, creators best invention ..
it’s me!
i am a balance between what you do not want & all that you need.
you’ll find solace in my madness, i promise you’ll be glad though you’ll wish you never had that encounter with me.
don’t keep your distance, i am distant.
love me despite my high-resistance.
you’ll find your happiness consistent & your fears are non-existent.
they don’t exist with me.
we’ll chase some positive vibes,
& co-exist.
indeed, i want a love that loves me clumsy,
a love to rub up on me,
your manner rub off on me.
no matter what, you’ll love me?
❤️

where i am from
ignorance is like a crown
worn ever-so proudly,
and detriment like softened blows
taken ever-so mildly.
       there is foolish pride here,
       there is no one to guide here.
everyone just cries
& complains all the time
& i guess it’s in the nature
of the poor
unconditioned minds.
i guess it’s what you do
when you know of nothing else.
i guess it’s what you do
when you know nothing of ones self.
i am of the few
that knows just what to do,
but if you are not popular
in society view
then who are you?
you do not matter.
they do not hear the words you say,
but it is fine
just save yourself,
they’ll see you tried to help
some day.
some day too late.

stillness,
without movement,
without willingness to go anywhere.
=

wonderland,
where i reside and confide in all existence;
there are many different shapes,
so many sizes
and depictions
of true friendship.
the grass is green,
in fact there's no other way.
we're frolicking in flowers,
drenched in sunlight by day.
-
and as the moon sends love,
so fluorescent.
i stand in constant gratitude for
my connections and ties,
who roam oceans
and skies
and all beyond
and all between...

the raging storm has gone quiet,
chaos has payed its due.
what still remains is my theory on how no love is true.
or maybe just with you.
-
wits at the end,
at the start you were my friend.
we lost sight of who we were,
we got caught up in a stir of emotions that deemed us unworthy
of a love thats willing,
with balance
and sturdy.
now you are well exposed,
now all of my wounds;
healed and closed.
now i can see why fate kept us apart.
now i can see that you loved with words and it was never from the heart.

you would call just to hear me say nothing at all,
i would listen to you spill drunk words with swag
& sway.
-
i knew not of how to love you
til i lost you,
we lost connection
then somehow i found myself.
-
i still miss you...
& tears still quickly form at the thought.

full meals out of broken hearts,
quite malnourished,
if one might ask;
making unstable look steady,
taking flight before she's ready,
longing to be unforgettable...

i'm going one way then the other,
one way or another.
-
if one way isn’t flowing try a next way.
if monday isn't showing try a next day.

speaking great vibes,
great health,
strong ties
and wealth.
-
im seeking self,
im seeking ways to maximize profit.
im a prophet.
ray of light,
ill change your life.
ill get you right
see,
im sweet because i spoke it,
complete because i wrote it.
fulfilled because i note it.
-
yes,
its noted,
in the book of life.
and every thing i write
is a reflection of who i am
and the place from where i came;
the place where hopes and dreams,
they flow free like open streams.
-

maybe what im needing for my healing isnt ******.
maybe what im needing is a reason or
i probably
just need to find my center.
to close the doors,
no foreign entity can enter.
-
maybe i just need to give it time,
maybe change my state of mind.
im off balance and my energy is running real low.
its a challenge,
it is draining.
what it is
i dont know..
who i am,
i cant show.

you see me
stop,
and stare.
to none you can compare.
its like im barely there,
but im there…
-
you know...
misfit,
barely seen.
by choice,
not with the scene.
ill free your mind,
lets chase some dreams.
a race through time,
not what it seems to be.
with no desire
but to free
the self
from all ties in the low.
on the low
im getting by,
im moving slow.
im tryna grow...

the urge to share all of me
with one who listens
with desire
to know more of me;
sometimes i'd go years pretending
that i don't need a lover.
----
i remember loving at 16;
so young & so giving,
so new & so forgiving,
so harsh & so unhealthy.
----
i often miss the days...

"mana"
cause your manner
and demeanor
speaks for you.
and may your every word
bring light and speak volume.
-
you are greatness.
the way you rise and fall,
the way you stand so tall,
throughout your flaws and all.
-
and they may not tell you often,
and you may not ever need it
but you are very special,
and i hope you keep believing.
-
the way you move,
you inspire.
an image so divine,
i speak peace within your mind.
you know that all will come in time.
-
if no one else believes in you,
or tries to see your vision.
i put pure energy behind
your life and
your decisions.
-
its a deeper connection,
you are the truest reflection
of a god,
here in the flesh.
you’ll rise again,
you know
its destined.

they said "suffer consequence to every action",
is that consequence bitterness &
inability to connect?
-
i'm unable to connect,
i think i cursed myself
when i found comfort in only myself.
-
when i became too attached to my own outcome,
my legs became lazy to move
to contemplate any other resolve.
-
i refuse to take anything less than i might offer.
dismiss me now,
or i might come off too strong.

your will be done only on behalf of
the true nature
of the true & living god.
-
we isolate,
farther and farther as we go
beyond what we know.

"drown it out with music"
now drowned in un-amusement.
un-enthused
& now her smile isnt the same...
but in a good way.
-
jealousy turned acceptance,
hatred turned soft.
the flame in her eyes that caused a kundalini rise
has died...
but its a good thing.

im designing farms to grow rare fruit & herb,
generate strains of wine, **** & wellness;
at the hands of some amazing individuals.
-
now & then,
ill give a glimpse into my world.

standing still
yet moving at speeds as fast as tides rising,
the age of glow
and golden
is vastly approaching the horizon.
-
with age never showing in face;
there's an agent of grace
and youth,
embracing truth.

to take a face
then make it up to be 'beautiful'
just incase some ****** wants to think aloud.
wether running errands
or run-way fashion,
it's all the same.
monotony.
-
sometimes you may think to go bare
but then stares of fictional characters make you nervous.
-
the only monsters beneath your bed are the ones that you created.

i still write about flowers blooming,
birds singing,
& sun-sets.
-
although lately,
i've been focused on expressions of threats;
like seeking trouble,
provoking monsters to come out & play with me.

want to know what's real?
seek mythology & folklore;
ever wondered why fairytales
become dismissive as you grow?
-
the inner-child
holds open-mind,
& so reveals the true nature.
-
imagination,
pretend-play
&
curiosity.
are you too grown-up,
or too adult to see?

explore it,
let it inspire you.
become friends,
become lovers,
become so obsessive that you question its intent on your sanity.
invest in it.
make it your peace while you
treat it as if you were an unstable person,
fed up and seeking holy ground;
in search of validation,
in search of balance,
desperate,
willing to discipline,
willing to adjust...
and when you both come to grips or a mutual agreement;
be loyal,
be open,
be so ******* honest
and
be understanding
but most of all be patient.

im a flower
but i'll still pull up on you.
i got powers,
and i'll bite back if you do.
-
happy hour,
hit the bar for cheap spirits
with free spirits
who see spirits
that guide,
spirits that ride
spirits with ties
to each & every dimension.
spirits big on retention.

tough as nails,
you’re so inspiring.
the way you bottle up emotions & hide your pain behind the strength you gained from running away. every single time.
you occupy yourself with a facade of who you wish to become, i think it’s working..
is it working? i don’t think it’s working.
maybe it is working,
maybe you just need to stay positive.
it’s simple.
all you have to do is listen to a million motivational speeches & tell yourself that everything will be ok eventually.
but will it?
try shutting everyone out of your life,
mask all of your feelings.
did that work?
have you tried drowning in your emotions & re-visiting your past?
maybe if you actually speak about what’s going on in your head.. wait, no!
a victim should never play the victim, not a good look.
be silent.
show emotion.
be strong.
raise hell.
never let them see you frown.
uhhh?
why are you so hard?
do you have emotions?
have you tried crying?
have you tried venting?

i stopped seeking attention
and feigning for likes & views;
i discovered new peace now effortlessly,
there are people in my world,
that see the best in me.
-
they relate
and could care less about my face,
as if im head-less;
or my race
as if
moments shared & experiences
mean much more to them...

i am here
& i am plugged into the aether,
get it?
just let your pride & your ego be your teacher.
-
there are no lies
& there lies no interest in staging moon-landings so
there is no way to erase my foot-print from surface of potential being,
i am being.
i am here.
can you hear me?
living energy,
beware if you get near me.
just stay clear me.
-
are we living?
are we jivving?
are we giving?
are we so afraid of light that we wear sunscreen
to keep out energy from source with source info & light codes
to keep you vibin’…
i keep attracting light beings now we tribed up & we thriving.
-
what do you bring to the table? & if you can,
are you able to make this short & sweet
as time is money
& money looking scarce these days.
not being funny get your coins up tho.
this raw material.

for several years
i've written poems about
boys & men,
heart-breaks
and trends
and cries
of who's and why's.
-
notice a pattern in the way i spill words.
notice how i sway,
clumsily.
notice how i chase
the boys & men
that run from me.