maybe once we were the same
and maybe I'm the one to blame.

Little girl, stop shaking
Your wounds are not the kind that will heal in time
You have predator in your blood
And abuser in your skin
Your antibodies cannot save you
When your body wages war against itself
The ****, it will not clot the way it is supposed to
As you grow older, the features come in
Your eyes look more and more
Like your Pop Pop's
Your face looks more and more
Like your father's
Your mouth tastes more and more
Like your older cousin's
After all, you would know
What his skin tastes like
You try to scrub it off
Causing the wound to reopen
Scrape the scab away
But you, beautiful girl
You are not your bloodline, your birthright
You are not destined to be angry and cold
Your sentence is not the dungeon
Is not death
Intelligent woman
You will hold in your hand the power of ten thousand men
You will wear the teeth from your ******* relative
Like pearls around your neck
You will paint your nails with the blood of your toxic family
Your past will not mute your scream
Your childhood will not filter your radiance
You, warrior, will rise up to be queen.

Please take me seriously
When I tell you that I don't know
what's wrong with me
Because I'm scared...
and all I can do is laugh
it
off
when I'm in front of you
cry for hours until
I
can't
breathe
when I'm in the dark
and my chest hurts
my eyes hurt
my head hurts
I hurt all over
I can't find the source
of my pain
I just want it all gone
gone
         gone
                  gone

turn me off
switch it off

*end it

it's harder to get closure when my dreams keep demanding
I watch my life like a soap opera and there's a neverending
number of seasons. I don't have anywhere else to look.
I can't do anything but sleep. Oh God, I could be bounded
by a nutshell, and count myself king of the infinite space,
were it not I had bad dreams.

linger, even when the snow melts.
when the tires tread normally,
stay with me until morning,
dont leave abruptly,
linger.

death whispers my name
and I whisper back
without fear

My second semester of college
My sociology professor tells us not to qualify our input
Because women are socialized to be sorry.
My voice has been used against me
Taught the only things it is good for
Is saying "yes" and "I apologize"
We are taught to cater to a man's state of being
And his state in general
Why are we called patriots?
Because our existence contributes to the patriarchy.
Our very lives are designed to entertain the male psyche
We are the pits of water for the buffalo to come to
Indulge in
Drain of our substance for his convenience.
We become too weak to fight
As "meninists" quote the Bible
Saying we are not meant to be equal
But when their seventh grade knowledge of quack biology
Is proved to be bad science time and time again
Will anyone fight to liberate us?
My second semester of college
My New Testament professor
Tells us the biblical interpretation of gender inequality
Is bad reading.
What if God is woman?
Would this deity have her body torn from the towers of heaven
Would she be called a ***** for smiting the world
With a great flood?
If she is woman
There are many more floods to come.
We eat the body of Christ at communion
If God is woman
Her body will be eaten by vultures every day.
We stand, we recite as we have been so kindly instructed
"This is my body
Given for you."