When I think about the past, I think about what a wonderful mother I had.
She died four years ago today and it broke my heart because it was so sad.
My mom has been dead for 1,461 days and 208 weeks.
Before she died, she didn't recognize people and she couldn't even speak.
Time flies, it doesn't seem like it's been four years.
My life would be better if my mother was still here
When a person loses a family member, it's rotten.
My mom is dead but she will never be forgotten.

As Sunday wakes, I watch the sunrise
Peaking over the yawning Sawtooth Range.

Idaho's Rocky Mountain loving arms wide open
Stretch to embrace the East fork of the Salmon

It’s at this bend I feel the need to take in
All the wonderment, that emerges to take my breath away.

I load my rod and chart a path for my line,
As I spot two survivors, drifting in and out of the undercut.

Feeling good about this, I offer up a clodhopper,
It drifts by unacknowledged, not even a balk.

WTH I think to myself, as I tie on a dropper,
And make one last presentation…………….

“Well I’ll be ******, never seen a trout yawn.”


- K.E. Carman 2017

~



The morphine undissolved upon his dry and cracked tongue
Mother frantically grabbing and sobbing
asking 'why' even though cancer
had been devouring him for years

I slid a silver ring off his cold finger
feeling the thin and frail culture
I thought back to massive hands holding wide leather belts
who would be able to discipline me now

More pills swirled around the toilet bowl
everything that wouldn’t get mom or I high
sank and disappeared
I think I flushed my feelings that day too

Fading images play in my mind
his braided hemp cord necklace woven around a tiger’s eye
the black heart earing that I lost almost the same moment
they wheeled his body out into the day
mom collapsed like a dying balloon
in dad’s chair
her red watery eyes looking up at me
still holding the same questions   /

Its in these waters, when I was merely a Parr
Or as you might refer to me as a fry,
This wise but young Brook Trout cruised the slow water with my kinfolk fry.

Moving to and fro hiding among the biome vegetation
The sunlight supported my living space and warmed my growth rings.
I dart in and out of the oxygenated seams which help me flourish.

Some days, I had to use stealth to outwit the pine marten and warblers,
I shadowed the cattail and watched them fill their bellies with those around me.
But I felt fate had a purpose for me to be something special.

And When the time was right, I'd propel myself above the water into the night air.
The large circle of orange light filled my eyes and the night sky was filled with luminary.
I imagined what it must be like to live outside this riffle domain.

This morning, through my refractory vision I spot some floating objects,
And through an inherited sensory recall I can see these are hatching green Drakes.
I immediately shoot to the surface and fill my stomach, then swim back to the undercut for cover.

As the years pass by and maturity abounds,  I find my self settling in behind a large boulder
Right at the tail out of the back eddy, providing me with an ample food supply.
And it's here I prefer to live my life in the slow current, content and peaceful.

And one day as I swam into the current seam, I spotted what appeared to be,
A different looking bug with yellow belly,  so I make my move.
He's not moving much so I decide to raise my head above the water line and sip.

As I grab the hopper I start to slide back behind the boulder,
When I feel a pinch, as if someone try's to pull me towards the surface
I fight with all my might but this force proves to be stronger than I.

It's now I realize a human reels me towards the shore line, and I'm fearful.
This one called a human, grabs my tail and places his hand on my under belly.
Pulling me from my home, he dislodges the hook from my mouth. I gasp for oxygen.

He looks me over from nose to tail, smiles and says how beautiful I am.
He looks me in the eye And says " This was a wonderful fight my friend, enjoy the rest of your life,
He places me back in water, gently reviving me and finally lets me swim away.

I dare to turn and look back at him for a moment and as he continues to watch me,
I hear him say " I fish, knowing everyday on this stream is a gift."

she was only ten years old
when he made the video tape
the film shows a horrid crime unfold
that little girl was *****

(the story that remains untold
a past she can never escape
available for an easy download
fuel for a pervert's sake)

they have their way with her over and over

******* eyes watch with bad intent
she is a victim again and again
every time that file is sent
she is ***** by other men

1976 we first met..
A Chicago girl that was always far to special for me.
But you saw something special in this troubadour
Our lips touched and you took me Beyond the stars

1986 you brightened our life's
6 lbs 7 ounce baby boy.....a miracle from God
We three held hands and made the union complete
Now and forever you made me so very happy

1996 we had some rough times
Held each other until the clouds passed by
Always resilient we walked together through this valley
Next peak is in sight.... are we ready for ten more my friend?

2006 our baby moves out on his own
Empty nest tears but ever so proud,
We tell each other what a wonderful son we raised
It's back to you and me baby just like 76'

2016 the start of forty years of loving my perfect mate
We plan out our rocking chair days that are just ahead of us..
You my dear made me the man I am today,
And..I'll be loving you long after my last breathe.


*Happy Anniversary Sweet Heart and lets shoot for fifty!

Once in a place long ago,but not that far away
Lived a Missouri “Show Me Girl”named Bessie Grace.
It was here, at her Catskill home in Margaretville NY that she made all visitors feel welcome.
Goodness, Kindness and tranquility abounded in this place on the hill.

She always found a way to answer my perplexing questions,
With a soft rhetoric that was sure to make you smile.
In a million years I’d never forget all those canned comebacks of hers ,
“The World is a Stage young man” or “We're Like two Peas in a Pod or “Someday I'll mingle with the stars and throw a party on Mars”

These metaphors were her way of teaching you about the world.
One day, my first love ended and Bessie quickly responded “Didn't you know that once your heart's been broken it grows back bigger”
I just looked at her with tear filled eyes and kissed her cheek.
She had such a broad view of life’s peaks and valley’s.


She once said “you know I feel like a cow with a name like Bessie”.
I told her “ With a name like that….You should just pass wind and go full sail ahead.
We laughed until our sides hurt.
Most days she had a pocket full of lemon drops and she would say
“Take a few to sweeten your day honey”

As time passed by quickly, eventually so did Bessie.
And in 1967 she had her party on Mars.
All the stars were there to welcome her to her new home.

She had everyone's attention and to cheers she exclaimed...."My name is Bessie Grace...I'm a Missourah Girl and I've just learned that the day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of our eternity”

At Home with Bessie Grace was added
Sep 7, 2016