I cannot hold you
like I do my alcohol,
but I can let go
like the smoke escaping your lips.

you are just ash
drowning in a sea of regret
with no place to call home.

*t.m.v

An Apathy for Effort

What happened to the world?
What happened to all of the happy people?
Drugs, money, *****?
None of the above.

I'll tell you what happened.
People happened to people.
Although, not others and to each other.
People happened to themselves.

Satisfaction became fiction
Men and women lost the grip on their vision.
Not eyesight, but people forgot the initial mission.

The concept of being happy
with what you have got
And worrying less about what you want.

If everyone would just shut up
And see how truly blessed they are,
Perhaps they would see
How truly blissful life can be.

Because what is bliss, but simply
A continuity with the whole.
And not a hole in the wall,
but the make of two halves.

If half the world gave half a hoot
We might experience bliss.
But we all individually feel deserving of more
As if we should get more than what we work for.

Yet NOBODY, is willing to give more
than a lift of a finger to attain.
It's too much of a chore.

We all expect the doors of life
To open to us, like a Walmart Super-center.
Where's the effort?
Where's that fighting spirit?

It's taking a nap with all of the hypocrites.
Those who spend their days feeling
sorry for themselves.

Those who left their aspirations
in a a Mason's jar
High upon the shelves, then claiming ignorance
as to what happened to their dreams, like lost car keys.

They know where they left them.
Hanging on the seams of their memories,
Abandoned when it became too hard
To work to achieve.

It's a sad state of affairs
When a man settles for his second choice of lifestyle.
Simply because his first choice was having an affair
With difficulty. Making it fairly difficult.

What is that man scared of?
Failing? You only TRULY fail if you don't try.
so instead he settles for second best,
While his heart sits idle and cries.

His heart cries:
"WHY?! Why won't you try?"
He is scared to lose,
That's why.

The sad thing is.
It's not as hard as that man thinks.
He simply needs to go out and do it,
and he will know happiness for the rest of his life.

But of course he's now too busy,
******* it all away.
Sipping on his bottle of sorrow drowning firewater,
somewhere when it's 5 o'clock.

As the whiskey burns and numbs his senses,
he attempt to consent himself with his settlement.
Living out his days with his mind and his heart
In constant battle.

Wondering what could have been.
What SHOULD have been...

So I beg of you,
don't choose to be another misfit or mishap.
Be you and always be true.
True to your heart and ideals.

Don't ever be frightened by adversity,
Be EQUALLY adverse.
Do not ever lose your grip on what makes you, YOU.

                                                -Nathan W. Smith

Blue eyes, blonde hair, red lips, intense stare,
self doubt, dark soul, your eyes bore a hole,
hard kiss, quick ****, over fast, no luck,

leaving now, going home, so cold, so alone,
shiver shake earthquake, so unreal, so fake,
tears trickle down my face, so slow, quicken pace,
still there on the brink, another drug, another drink,
block you out, so numb, want to hide, want to run,

Far away, leave it all, the more i think, the more i fall,
Shut my mind, shut you out, feeling sick, full of doubt,
Too hard, you’re always there, look at you, try not to stare,
Fake smile, cold hello, nervous laugh, hard swallow,
little hope drains away, another moment, another day,

Time goes on, hope it heals, because I hate how it feels,
But for now, I crave your touch, I want you now, miss you so much.

I have been broken,
I have been shattered,
I am like an old cloth,
That has been tattered,
I have been stepped on,
Thrown on the ground,
I am like a shard of glass,
Maybe one day I will be found,
Nobody notices,
It's not like they really care,
Sometimes someone will say something,
If they have time to spare.
For now, I will hide behind my fake smile,
Laugh behind cursed lips,
Cry behind stained eyes,
Just moving along like silent ships,
Don't worry,
I'll be fine,
I am just another person,
Who stepped out of line.

Sorrow has always captured my attention,
Tradegy framed in a single face,
A tear, all memories refracted from a single point.
Depression is always elegance in action,
Movement of one stage of a persons true grey,
To the next lightest color.
Color, not shade.
For we can all learn to interpret the grey.
But when that persons face brightens?
Their light is a stark display,
Deep indigo dances with flaming scarlet,
True cobalt blue swims alongside sky blue, yellow dawns a new era of verdant green.
All because of one small tear-shaped prism of refraction.
All shades of joy, frenzies of different shades dancing in one picture.
Shades, because all we knew was grey.
But joy... subsides. We all know this true, fortunately.
Without this, we would never see the beauty of grey.
That which is true rock bottom, Untainted by the scarlet of anger, the yellow of joy.
No, the pure single eloquence of sorrow.

I try. You try.
We all take a chance.
He got a girl, and she is going to the dance.
I tried, You tried.
To get an advance.
She got the job, and He got the chance.
I will try. She tried. He tries. You try.
She got a job. He got the girl. You get the chance.
I failed.
But I fell forward, I stood up.
You ran down, and couldn't stand.
Do you understand? It's as much as a will, and more than a way,
I will live ALL and EVERY day.
I fell forward, amd I ran down, But I learned that together,
I kept my feet on the ground.