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bending* and b r e a k i n g under your thumb
only waiting to be
tossed, turned,
even slammed in the waves
of your empty promises.
hate lives in your stomach
f l o w i n g out like lava with
lies and insults
burning into my bones.
i'm grasping
for a safety net,
only to drown in
my own tears.

how long will it take
for you to

Here is to hoping that karma actually exists.
i think you say things
to explain the chains
around your thoughts
that constantly tend to tighten
around your neck.

to find a reason
for pouring love into him
even though he poisons you
with only hate.

to make sense of how
you still feel his hands on you
searching for the way you
will never feel.

to see if what you feel
will just disappear
because you can't bear
to feel it.

i don't say much.

although i grew
so secure and stable,
i'll always know
you were the one
to rip me from the ground.
with the fall
of fresh kisses and moments,
ill remember how to
thrive again.

i can't go back to

Mixed emotions.
my body was not made
to be loved on occasion,
but to be devoured by warm hands
and grasped by sharp features.
you were meant to love me,
to be my savior
in times of indecision
or constraint.

now you are but a whisper
in a world full of screaming children,
waiting for their mothers to come

why is it that we have to pay for our
and emotions,
instead of some expensive

even though i was told
that true love exists,
i think someone made it up
just to be held at night.

i wonder,
is he leaving?
steadily becoming a memory,
causing me to cling to now.
no one told me
that i would hear it in his bones
or in the way he'd say my name.

but they did say to love,
because in one second he could be

"You are my heaven"
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