standing in an open doorway
i breath in the wet pavement
savoring the raw freshness
of a very good rain.

i thought of you the other day
and realized my memories
   are quite blurred

I just want to be held.
Embraced by your arms and shoved into your chest with the passion that I long to feel from you.

I want you to burn me.
Burn me to death and give me new life.
Your cigarette burn holed love.

Entrap me in that brown eyed gaze.
**** ME WITH YOUR EYES!

They say you can tell a sign of attraction by watching where someone looks when they are talking to you.
When words escape your mouth all I can look at is where they are coming from.
Your lips that make me want to bite you.
Your tongue that makes me want to shove you against a wall and hold you there.
So you're mine.

Be mine.

Why can't my heart
turn my insecurities into
words and phrases you'll like and relate to
so you'll give them a heart or a share and temporarily
give me a fickle reward because I'm a pointless human being
and day in day out
wish I could put my suicide into words
a literary suicide for every time
I hate my life and
wish I could go back
to being innocent before
I broke anyone
before I realized I'll have to grow up or die
before I became the
weak one
incapable of even
martyrdom.

the flame is burning
   behind my eyes
     blurring my vision
then slowly sharpening the edges
   causing this place
to break up into pieces
of shattered
          nothingness
filling me with an uneasiness
that begs for sleep
to keep me in blackness
    and unaware
of the turmoil that surrounds me

          until i wake
and realize

that nothing has changed.

i woke up breathing in
   another day greeting
     me
my heart beating
   within me needing
     peace
my eyes pleading
   my arms retreating
     lost
my soul bleeding
   my spirit receding
     alone...

misleading dreaming.

take this day and live