I met you
Last night
I felt so hollow yesterday
I nearly bit my
customer's face off
With their smile
And cackling laugh
Drowning me,
choking me
I felt like punching,
I considered
taking up boxing

Why do I try to be perfect?
Why do I try to suppress
everything
Push everything down
Be quiet about who I really am?
Because I'm so
*******
scared
There is no other reason
It's this
fear that's my one and
only demon

You're not a lover
You're a friend for shallow times,
for cheap thrills
You brought me back to
my teenage years
I drank half a beer
because I hate being
high
I smoked a cigarette
And you said
You're not acting Christian tonight
But who am I?
And who was I?
I never knew

We stole pumpkins
off of porches
Quiet homes tucked away
Warm light emitting
from partly concealed windows
I protested
But you persisted
And I laughed and
howled with an
artificial delight

We smashed the pumpkins
And stuck our hands in
Feeling the gooey innards
We didn't talk much
Maybe we had nothing in common
But it was nice
To have no words
To be terrified
To feel my fear,
and do it anyway.