"Where does it hurt?"
Everywhere
"Specifically?"
I guess right here
"Your heart?"
Yeah
"That's not a good sign"
"How long has it hurt"
A while I guess
"When is it worse?"
At night and sometimes day
"This could be serious"
"We will take you up for a scan"
Doctor?
"Yes?"
*Please make it go away

You came into my life in February.
At the beach, of all places.
Of all my favorite places.

When I was wandering through greyscale
You sparked in front of my face, blinding me

And I realized that maybe even though I wasn't looking
In that moment, meeting you was my reason.

We spent the first five months of knowing each other
Distant and casual and nothing other than friendly.
Being separated by 100 miles isn't so conducive for dating.

I think that made things better.
Enough time to talk.
Enough to realize I could be really interested.

In my humble opinion, we started dating September 4, 2015.

When you took me out for my birthday,
I think our thoughts were running along similar lines;
I want there to be more.

I really wanted that to be a date.
For what we were doing to be a thing we could keep doing
And not because I was lonely or I'd been single too long.

But because in a world where I hadn't dated in two years because I didn't want to
And no one I'd met was worth spending my time on
You appeared and I went, "Oh."

I want to kiss you so badly but I'm so nervous.

In no way do I mind being the one to make plans for us.
I'm a Virgo, it's in my nature
And as long as you keep saying yes, I'm happy.

But it was such a genuinely wonderful surprise to have you come back with ideas.
To me, that doesn't say, "We should carve pumpkins"
It says, "I'm interested in spending more time with you."
And that always makes me smile.

Today I got my nails painted your favorite color.
What am I doing?

Half the time on tumblr these days I'm just looking for quotes to describe how I feel.
About life; about you.

These days, you're in most of the dreams I remember.

All I'm saying is at this point I might be in just on the side of too deep to back out of the water without good reason.

I am too warm
I begin to roll off my socks
one at a time
with my opposite foot
I wiggle my toes
They crack and I feel the coolness
of the sheets
so silky and soft
I want to move my feet around
make a snow angel in bed
Instead I stick one foot
out from under the covers
and settle into the softness
To do anything else
would wake you
and nothing is as beautiful
as your eyelashes resting on your face
nothing is as precious
as the curve of your neck
as the soft contradiction
of your pale cheek lightly flushed
I am still warm
But as if sensing my need you turn in sleep
facing me
Your breath steals across my cheekbones
leaving goosebumps in its wake
It is not in fear that my breath catches
but in awe and wonder
though the strong beat of my heart
cannot differentiate the two
You are a force of nature
stubborn and quick-witted
thoughtful and patient
You are human and strong and self-assured
and I have realized that I love you
My breath catches
You do not stir.

Raindrops fall on the roof
the way your hands touch my skin.
Your fingertips, light and dragging,
become more insistent,
speaking of the storm about to come.
I feel your palms
heavy on my shoulders.
The tiny hairs on my nape
stand straight up
in response to your thumbs.
Your lips and tongue taste
the one vertebrae
that sticks out at the base of my neck
soft as wind through the grass,
but my insides quiver
through the thunder you create.
When your hands come around to my sides
my stomach shivers,
rippling because your nails tickle
before they dig into my curves.
I gasp through the sensation,
unable to otherwise move with my body in shock.
Tingling pleasure courses up and down beneath my skin
my body as charged as the air
when the clouds have rolled in
but the lightning has yet to strike.

if this was a poem
it would be total ****
because it doesn't rhyme
and there's no rhythm
and there are no answers

your sarcasm sings to something in me that I didn't know was there.
small and tightly packed in the middle of my chest it pulses with light and longing when you speak.
because you say it with a smile I know how to respond
which only makes it better when my words come out sassy and clear
saying what the honesty in me demands but delivered as a joke.
your eyes let me know it isn't taken as one.
good.
you flirt with the enthusiasm of a child but the will and words of your 23 year old self.
at first I hesitated unsure how to respond to your loud efforts when I wasn't sure if you were messing with the new girl or just wanted to see me react.
but you've caught a spark of the fire I put out over a year ago
coaxing it back when I'd forgotten how nice the warmth could be.
but now I want that flame and it will hold because there's a matching burn in your skin when we touch and it's not enough.
you laugh when you notice our mirroring and wonder why whereas I smile because while I've noticed and know what it means I can't control myself enough to stop it happening.
and while the song on the radio says I'm gonna love you like a black widow baby
I just want to love you all the time in all the best ways because while black widows may **** after *** I want you to feel so alive there's not enough oxygen in the world for your body so you breathe harder.
Reality returns when you tell me now nice I look and I'm torn between preening and returning the compliment so you know of course I find you attractive
because your eyes are the brightest blue and your curves look so soft I wish I could put my hands just above your hips but I settle for gliding my hand down your arm and smile as you seem to enjoy it.
We stand very close together so much that anyone not interested would have taken a step back but neither of us do.
And if we were a boy and a girl someone would have broken up the party by now and told us to get back to work
but these silly pedestrians won't see what's right in front of their faces if they refuse to look.