You know, some people told me that I liked to attract attention at the time, and it was true.
I was a beggar for love
Cos I didn't have enough people who loved me for who I was
Sometimes I thought people loved me but they just wanted to **** me
So I was disgusted by everyone
Until I got my cat Oslo
I really knew what unconditional love was
Oslo is my second son
And then I had Liam too, these two 'people' changed my life and made me realise that I don't need anyone any more because I have them.
Today I'm attracting tension, but I'm not doing it on purpose
lots of people love me
I needed you before, I would have felt stronger and more supported, but I love you all the same
𓆩♡𓆪
Today, I feel like a diamond in a box
I just want to be left in my box
To live my life as a film
I no longer want to think and relive those traumatic years
I'm sorry if I'm sometimes ****** in my words
But anger wins out but all these emotions are artistic
They're things I write on the spur of the moment
I try not to re-read them generally, otherwise I usually delete them
I feel ashamed sometimes
But I'm less ashamed today
I'm really starting not to care what people think of me
I'm a ball of energy and that's all part of my bipolar disorder, so to stay off medication I have to manage to tire myself out, move from town to town, write down everything that comes into my head, manage my emotions, life isn't always easy, I don't have a perfect life
I have haters, everyone has haters
Nobody's perfect
But I pay more attention to what people say
I say what I think loud and clear
And **** those who aren't happy
All you have to do is click "unfollow" 💋
But know that your life won't be as bright without me

Well, I've just realised that I didn't say what I wanted to say in my previous text
I thought about that stupid ***** and my brain went crazy
Basically,
A real woman doesn't depend on anyone
A real woman has a minimum of ego
A real woman loves herself first
A real woman fights for her family
A real woman won't cry for a man
Yes I blessed with beauty and rage
I'm enraged
All the hate I've had
The men who managed to get me
Today I'm screaming!
I'd smash everyone's face in if I could
How could I have been so stupid
But I don't like to say bad things about myself
Money never, I mean never, attracted me
So if you read this message you perverted ******* I'll spit in your face

My mum looked after Liam last night,
I had to go to Italy for a photo shoot
And see some girlfriends I met on the internet
I only stayed 1 day
I didn't sleep
Luckily I got there in time
Anyway, I'm not going to talk about that,
I wanted to talk about men and money,
It's crazy how a man can manipulate a woman with his money
Well, there are ****** like my former best friend who'd give her *** for a few cents...
But I'm not talking about "women", if you can call them that, that kind of girl who carries around a lot of diseases and who doesn't know authenticity.
How could I waste my time with people who have no education?
This kind of woman goes with drug addicts,
It's well known
****** go with drug addicts or dealers same ****
They're on the same level
It's this kind of social class that I want to avoid for my son, I know that he won't go with just any girl.
I stopped hanging out with my former best friend because men were writing to me to offer me money, I was bombarded with messages from boys and men and in the street they only attracted **** when I was seen with her, you know the kind of person that gives you bad luck
We have to say NO! To all this! Enough!
I don't want to talk to you again, I don't want to see you again, you're no good to me!
I've said it
I've managed to think of nothing but myself
I was
I who was afraid of hurting someone
And was stepped on by people who were less than nothing

Today my son did
His first steps
And he ran towards me
Saying "Mummy" and smiling
And he managed to walk fast
When he dropped the chair he was leaning on
You know, having a child is extraordinary.
God gave me the strength to have a beautiful little boy
I've become a completely different woman
I became very protective
And I understand certain things
I understand why the mothers of my exes were so protective of their sons
Sometimes I thought it was over the top but I understand now (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)
I think when he grows up I'll be even worse than them
Anyway, if I ever find someone (which isn't my priority) I'd love to have lots more babies
If I don't find someone who reflects me, I'll ask for a donor.
I don't need a man in my life to be happy
I already have my lover my son Liam
My son comes first
It's not a priority
If he doesn't love one of the men I'm dating I'll stay single for life if I have to. I love my son more than anything in the world
Since he came into the world
He's been my reason for living
I write but I cry with emotion
When I was little I dreamt of him
I knew that when I grew up I'd have a little boy
I love you Liam

Finally, why talk about the past?
I've never been so happy in my life
And especially not for a man
I need to preserve myself
I've had a lot of men suggest that I get to know them better
But I don't need anyone in my life
I'm a bipolar warrior
I got my baby back
I have an incredible cat
Life as a single mum is too good
I travel around the world to do fashion shows or more often shoots because I'm a bit shy
I've learnt to forgive and
I've been forgiven for my sins
I pray at least one hour in the morning,
3 hours in the afternoon
1 hour before going to bed (when I'm not away)
I am protected and nothing can harm me. I am strong and I love myself
I wish you, who take the time to read me, the same happiness that I never knew existed
I have God with me and besides that
I do Bible studies
I've never been so close to my heavenly father
I'm a member of a church
where i've met lots of Christians
It's just incredible the positive energy in this church.
God is everything to me but it's very hard to have faith.
That's why I'm studying to be part of this community, I'm reading two Bibles at the same time and I'm giving a talk on each chapter.
God Almighty watches over us
He's my almighty father
It's funny, I've been getting
my act together for a year now,
A year of seeing life differently,
People stop me in the street to tell me,
That my aura is really powerful,
Or that my energies are
very strong and positive
Thank you again for reading
May God be with you
Amen ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺🤍