Foot on the brake
Getting ready to floor it
Make a move, Make a move
Adrenaline flowing in a torrent

Hand on your belt
That holds the cartridge clip
You have prepared yourself to be ready
For someone to slip

You didn't shut the door
This is a bad part of town
So I make a plan in my mind
In case something were to go down

I would floor it away
Possibly leaving you behind
Saving everyone else with me
But I know you would be fine

You help him inside
He's the only reason you're there
He can't help where he lives
You can't help that you care

He takes his time
Against my dismay
My feet are tapping, frantically searching
For bullets to ricochet

But you finally return to the car
After an eternity it seems
And I speed away instantly
Because this has terrified me

As I am returning to my safe home
I look up to the moon
And wonder if it looks the same
From his living room

You know it's real friendship
When you can make a face at them
From across the room
And your thoughts are transferred to them

And you know it's real friendship
When you communicate fully
Through unintelligible groans
And mumbling sentence fragments

And it is definitely real friendship
When you can have those 2 a.m. conversations
Whether sitting together at a sleepover
Or talking on the phone
Because you are both feeling pensive
And have those 2 a.m. epiphanies about life

I know we're real friends because you inspire me
You, with your persevering nature
Your beautiful smile and interesting perspective on life
I couldn't think of a better friend to have

So thank you, real friend
Because I have never laughed the hardest over nothing
Or cried the hardest over something
With anyone better

Stop! Stop! Don't you look at me
I have no profound sagacity
I am through with rash decision
I shall halt further self-revision
Please, just stop don't steal another look
I'm sorry it's not the blame I took
I would rather take it now, though, you see
Because now you don't care, it's only me.

And when I dream
You aren't now
You are *then

You told me I'd find someone better
And I have
But, better is a relative term

Better in the way that when I am around him
I don't have to pretend to be your idea
Of who I should have been

Better in the way that when he tells me I'm beautiful
I know he means it
And doesn't resent me

But better doesn't mean that it feels better
When he holds my hand
It's just a different feeling
Than when you did

Nothing will ever let me forget the first time you held mine
Going down an escalator at the aquarium
To look at the jellyfish or the turtles
When the loud speaker said "For all the young children, their guardian needs to hold their hand to ensure safety on the escalator"
And you laced your fingers into mine
And a smile spread across your face, that I couldn't miss
A smile unlike how you smile for all of your school pictures
It was genuine

How can you tell when it's time?
Hours, minutes, seconds
To start living your life
Months, weeks, days
To become who you want to be
Centuries, decades, years
Shouldn't take
*Forever.

It's sweet and mesmerizing
And it reminds me of that place
You took me once last summer
With that smile spread upon your face

You laughed as you told me stories
You found funny about yourself
You glowed as you told me secrets
You have told to no one else

It's deep and rich and smooth
As that one night upon the beach
We watched the fireworks together
And counted each one by each

We fell in love quite instantly
I can't quite tell you how
But these feelings are here consistently
And I still feel this way now

And the best quality: It's natural
As the woods and the skies above
Even if I were to search the entire world
This would always be the scent of love

I wish I may
I wish I might
Have this wish
I wish tonight*

I wonder how
I wonder why
The birds are chained
To the pale blue sky

And fish are destined
To sail the seas
Till dawn, Till dusk
Till you believe

And why are we
Bound to walk this land
Sometimes alone
Sometimes hand in hand

With another being
As lovely as thou art
With demeanor so daring
And a caring heart

I wish this for you
Even though it is not you and I
Chained together soaring
Through a pale blue sky

My mind always traces it to you
That song that takes me back
To warmer weather

Sitting out on my back porch
In twilight
Almost three years ago
As I listened to that song
For the first time

The one that made you think of me
That surprised me
About you

So now, whenever I hear:
"Last night, I had a dream about you
In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you
And it looked like everyone was having fun
The kind of feeling, I've waited so long"

I think of you
And remembered what it felt like
To be in love for the first time

It is over.
Breathe
Out
A
Sigh
of
*Relief

When I look at you
A flood of emotions pour in
Nervousness
Contempt
Anger
Sadness
Anxiety
Nostalgia
Fear
Bu­t I cover it with a mask
So no one can see how I really feel when I look at you

There is just some weakness I have
For men that are dressed up with:
Suits and Ties
Dress pants and shiny shoes
A smile and a quiet sense of confidence

A castle door, guarded by no one
A giant padlock fastened around the ****

I pull with all the strength I can muster
Nothing moves

I try again, slamming myself at the unmovable door
Nothing moves

"Maybe it is me" I say
"Maybe it is the weather, or the position of the sun on the horizon that makes this door unmovable"

I back away from the gate to see a beam of light emerge from the tallest tower
The most guarded

This gives me hope
If only I could burst through the gate, I could welcome the gatekeeper with open arms

We could be joyous
And, together, enjoy the limited eternalness of our youth

So I attempt again, and this time the door swings open with a thud
Under my new found strength

I step inside, expecting to see a lush landscape
And my beloved

However, he is no where to be found
And the courtyard is barren

While I search for my gatekeeper I find his study
Filled with books and books of the struggles of his life

But no book containing the answers to his problems
This makes my heart drop as I learn of my gatekeeper's difficult life

With tears in my eyes, I push on to find him
I search in every corridor

Until I find the tower entrance
And embark on the rickety, unkempt staircase to reach him

I find him huddled in a corner
His eyes, red and tiresome from worry

As soon as my gatekeeper sees me
He falls into my arms

And we wept

We wept for the things lost
The things hidden
The things that have past
And the uncertain things to come

For we have no notion of the things to come
But we can live in this moment together from now on

We are only human
We make mistakes

However, we were not a mistake
We were meant to happen

But never meant to be