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Mar 2014 · 222
Reasons
Kareena Mar 2014
I try to remember that everything happens for a reason
But my problem is that I exhaust myself trying to figure out what that reason is
Mar 2014 · 238
Comfort
Kareena Mar 2014
When danger strikes, I know you're there
Right by my side, you're never scared

You help me
Heal me
Complete me
Feel me
For someone special
Mar 2014 · 378
Reminder
Kareena Mar 2014
I don't know how to get rid of the feelings
And all of the random memories I have about you

Like how you smell

Or how you like your Ramen Noodles

How you danced around your room to make me laugh

Or the stories you told me about yourself when you were younger

The songs you made up for me

How you amazed me with your elaborate plans

Or what you got every time we went to the movies

What you looked like when you were truly upset

When you cried because of having to leave me

When you still cared that much about me

Memories are hard to forget
When they are always there to remember
The other one
Mar 2014 · 640
Searching
Kareena Mar 2014
I don't know how to look at you now
Because I can't let go of how I looked at you then
Always searching
Feb 2014 · 218
The Blame Game
Kareena Feb 2014
I can't bear to hear of what you felt and feel for her
That you didn't feel for me

You don't know how that feels
Until you are the one that is told

By seven different people
How the person you cared for

Loved someone else
That wasn't you

Or how you were still together
When they felt this way

You won't know how I felt
Until you are led on

You won't know that feeling
Until you experience it firsthand

But the only peace I have with it
Is that I am not mad at the girl you loved that isn't me

I do not blame her, for it is not her fault
It is yours for being the coward you always have been
Kareena Feb 2014
She fears him, and will always ask
   What fated her to choose him;
She meets in his engaging mask                  
   All reasons to refuse him;
But what she meets and what she fears
Are less than are the downward years,
Drawn slowly to the foamless weirs
   Of age, were she to lose him.

Between a blurred sagacity
   That once had power to sound him,
And Love, that will not let him be
   The seeker that she found him,
Her pride assuages her, almost,
As if it were alone the cost.
He sees that he will not be lost,
   And waits, and looks around him.

A sense of ocean and old trees
   Envelops and allures him;
Tradition, touching all he sees
   Beguiles and reassures him;
And all her doubts of what he says
Are dimmed with what she knows of days,
Till even prejudice delays,
   And fades—and she secures him.

The falling leaf inaugurates
   The reign of her confusion;
The pounding wave reverberates
   The crash of her illusion;
And home, where passion lived and died,
Becomes a place where she can hide,—
While all the town and harbor side
   Vibrate with her seclusion.

We tell you, tapping on our brows,
   The story as it should be,—
As if the story of a house
   Were told, or ever could be;
We’ll have no kindly veil between
Her visions and those we have seen,—
As if we guessed what hers have been
   Or what they are, or would be.

Meanwhile, we do no harm; for they
   That with a god have striven,
Not hearing much of what we say,
   Take what the god has given;
Though like waves breaking it may be,
Or like a changed familiar tree,
Or like a stairway to the sea,
   Where down the blind are driven.
I love this poem because it makes me see what would have happened if I went back with the other one. Life would have been so unhappy, but I see that breaking up stung and hurt a lot, but it really was for the best.
Feb 2014 · 629
The Final Kiss
Kareena Feb 2014
Sometimes, in the night, I see you
I cannot hide from you because you encircle me
And suffocate me with my own feelings
You are dressed gallantly, as I'd always imagined
My Prince
You act as though we are in daily life
You reel me in, then push me away listlessly
I begin to see how I am being mistreated
You tug at my heartstrings until I am on the verge of tears
Then you stop
You bite your lip and look at me tentatively
You stroke my face
Whispering sweet nothings as the daylight hours in my fantasies flit away
Then, you kiss me and all of the feelings the callas I built up around you withheld burst forth
And I can feel everything
With my love for you fully regained,
You kiss me once more and the feelings are palpable
Tangible
Intense
Real
Suddenly, it all slips away
My beautiful fantasy land and you
Everything is gone
I awake to find myself alone in my bed
Our last kiss was in a dream
An oldie. Probably from April
Feb 2014 · 734
"Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac
Kareena Feb 2014
Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom
Well who am I to keep you down
It's only right that you should
Play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness

Like a heartbeat.. drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost...
And what you had...
And what you loved

Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say... Women... they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean... you'll know

Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself
It's only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and...
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness...

Like a heartbeat... drives you mad...
In the stillness of remembering what you had...
And what you lost...
And what you had...
And what you loved

Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say... Women... they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean... you'll know
One of my favorite songs of all time
Kareena Feb 2014
Many times my heart aches and wonders why
But now this constant truth keeps echoing in my mind

The whole reason for every thing you did to me is clear
If you can't love yourself, you can never love another

You became so insecure about us
About the preconception that I would leave you someday

To find someone else
Someone more handsome
More thoughtful
Someone who wasn't you
That didn't have the qualities you hated about yourself

In me, you couldn't get past all the things you saw wrong in yourself
Even though I never said a word

I could never say I wish we never met before
Because you have taught me a lot

But, I wish I never met the agony you caused
I wished I never fell into your guilt traps
Your control techniques

You changed
And I was blamed for it

But I don't understand why
I tried to preserve who you were when we first met
That sweet boy who was genuine
Now you are just some fraud

Well, you reap what you sow
Because, now, I am not yours
You tried to justify our endings, to make it seem like it was my idea too
But the only reason I agreed
Was because I saw you were too far gone for me to try to ever love you again
For that ****** other one.
Feb 2014 · 194
The Troubles
Kareena Feb 2014
Sometimes
when life gives you the troubles
You just need to throw up your hands and say
*What the ****?
I am having those troubles
Feb 2014 · 476
The Childish Love
Kareena Feb 2014
If I ran away, would you follow me without question?
Would you take my hand and say "Where to, my dear?"
Would you take me to a field of lilies?
And intricately twist them into my hair?
Would you lose the hands on the clock with me?
Would we even remember they exist?
Would you take a simple pleasure in being together?
Because here is where you are destined to be?
Would you brush the flyaway strands from my cheeks?
And say that I have aged gracefully?
As I bloom from youth to old age, will you still be my friend?
Like how we started this whole adventure?
And will I do all the same for you?

My response is simple:
Anywhere you wish to go, I shall reply
"Where to, my dear?"
For someone special
Kareena Feb 2014
quantoque magis stetisse mutant*

Your voice has changed
Deeper
Fuller
But that hint of coffee table is still intermingled in your speech
The one you tripped into as a child
That made you pronounce "math" wrong

Your eyes are still you
Pale
Green
Empty when, at me, they are occasionally fixed
Although many say that they are blue
I always saw the green in them
The life and hope that I always believed was in you

Your hair is still you
Wavy
Dark
Thick
It makes me remember lazy Saturdays
When we were inseparable
Sitting forever
While I intertwined my fingers in it

I wish I could say your personality is the same
But I don't know
All I can see are the superficial things in your life

I am like some sort of stranger
You never knew at all
Who you carelessly pass by in the hallway
Bumping shoulders
Not even saying "Excuse me"
"Quantoque magis stetisse mutant"= The more things change the more they stay the same in Latin. For that other one that I can't help him being the inspiration for a lot of my poems.
Feb 2014 · 294
You
Kareena Feb 2014
You
I just want to say that I love you.
And it is not just because we are together,
I am not being forced to say it.

You just are the best person I could ever ask for
And I feel like I don't deserve someone so nice to me
But you always say I do, always.

So I will keep believing every word you say
Because you are genuine, always
Genuinely you
For someone special.
Feb 2014 · 9.4k
The Seducing Cage
Kareena Feb 2014
Everything is fine
Until you pop into mind.
In a casual thought
Or a dream so vivid
I can almost touch you
Why?
When he has done so much to help me heal from you
But you are still here to taunt me in my mind
You were the thing I wanted, but could never have in the end
In my dreams, he taught me many things
He let me laugh
He never disregarded my heart
Or payed more attention to himself
He let me do things you never would have accepted with ease.
But still, we always go back to those who cage us in
As much as we realize it is not for the best
We still subconsciously want it
Because we get used to our cage
It is home
The other one. This is so frustrating, because I don't want him, but it is hard to let go of bad things that happened when you always had hope that they would get better.
Feb 2014 · 1.4k
The First Date
Kareena Feb 2014
Here I stand
Toes tap-tapping on the floor

Waiting for you to emerge
All dressed up, from your bedroom door

At the first glance I get, I catch my breath
You are more handsome than I remember

With your button up, black slacks, and fancy red tie
My heart starts to beat, racing and fevered

When you see me, you smile
And I return the feeling

You grab my hand, pulling me closer
And the sensation leaves me reeling

Thank you so much, my Valentine
For making this day great

Even though we have been together for a while
It felt like our first date
For someone special, my Valentine.
Feb 2014 · 854
I am the Iceberg
Kareena Feb 2014
They say ninety percent of an iceberg's mass is below the surface
If that is so, then think about all the things you do not know.
You could not know about all its underwater purposes
Or of its unknown arctic woes

If this is also true about people, imagine what I don't know about you
You, with all of your fake faces
A stranger that I don't know like I used to
That I searched for in multiple places

But it is not a one-way street
This secretive disguise
It is half way where we must meet,
For you to see what's behind my eyes

Yes, you probably couldn't even recognize me now
If you were ever so inclined
To try to break down the barrier, for you, I have made around
To try to get inside my mind

Then you would really see,
Who I was, and who I am
Because, from you now, I am free
But, to see inside again, you never can
Sometimes I think about how I don't know him anymore and I feel bad, but then I remember that he doesn't know me either. Not about the guy from "Until You Can Stay"
Kareena Feb 2014
Snow swirling by
Thoughts swirling by

Thoughts of you
The ones that come

The ones that remind me of how it used to be
The ones that sting

Standing on the corner
All alone

Waiting
Whether it is for you or something else, I do not know

But, here I stand
Thinking and thinking

Swallowed in my own thoughts,
Life happens

You pass by in a blur
And I don't think it's a reality

But it is
You see me

And I see you
Alone, for the first time in forever

We connect
For one brief moment

Driving by, you see me
A girl you used to know

Standing on the street corner
In the new fallen snow
For the other one that doesn't know me anymore.
Feb 2014 · 747
Our Story
Kareena Feb 2014
A flick of the fingers
A snap of the wrist
Launched my shotput
And glided your disc

Familiar faces have changed
You were not the same
But I couldn't help but smile
When you said my name

A smile turned into laugh
A laugh turned to hug
A friendship at first
Bloomed into love

Old scars still stung
But you had been there too
Although it has taken me forever to be okay
I am better with you

Those friendly laughs still remain
The jittery feelings still here
Even though the setting has changed
I still want you near

Your smile, still charming
Your eyes, still calming
You have brought me so much joy
You are my new era, dawning
For someone special
Feb 2014 · 403
What I Have Left
Kareena Feb 2014
My chest full of drawers holds my life
Although, of drawers, it only has three
It contains all of the objects
That define the girl that is me

My watch to count the hours
My glasses to guide my sight
My pens to write my story
My lamp to see at night

My bible to teach me how to live
My baby blanket, with which it is covered
With its little glass knobs and craftsmanship
It embodies my grandmother

Since she is gone, this is what I have
My little night-side table of drawers
It is my representation of her
To cherish and adore

It holds my secrets
Those ones I've never shared
All of my unfinished letters
Because even now I know she cares

She is there to confide in
And helps me remember to believe
She encourages me to stay true to myself
And, of my pain, she does relieve
I wish she were still here, because I miss those days.
Jan 2014 · 446
The Familiar Stranger
Kareena Jan 2014
Hello, there, I'm sorry
You just looked like someone I knew
His hair was wavy, his demeanor shy,
His eyes a greenish-blue

No, it's my mistake, really
You just looked like this one guy
He was quietly thoughtful and caring
But unmistakably shy

Perhaps it is you, then
But I cannot be so sure
Did you enjoy my presence?
Was it me that you adored?

I'm sorry that I didn't recognize you
My memory has sort of lulled
But you seem a different person now
Your love of life has dulled

Yes, it is you, I suspect
There is something that's the same
It could be the way you look at me rarely
Or the way you said my name

Please forgive me, familiar stranger
We had such a great strife
But maybe, just maybe
We would have worked in a different life
For someone who meant a lot. Not the same person who I wrote "Until You Can Stay" about
Kareena Jan 2014
Everyone has the same terribly written love story
If you think about it

Rose are red, but not always red
And violets are blue, but is that true?

Why does everyone really think their love is so different
If they all feel the same way after it ends?

I see all around me,
People who talk about their lost loves.

"She left me because she lost interest"
"He left me because he moved"
"She left me because she couldn't take it"
"He left me because of someone new"

Then they are forced to wander around,
Saying to themselves:

"Was it my fault?"
"Was it something I said?"
"Was I someone I'm not?"
"I wish I were dead"

But the truth is this,
The things these" hopeless romantics" don't say to themselves:

"It was never your fault"
"Everything was right that you said"
"You were never someone you're not"
"Maybe they just weren't right in the head"
For someone who needs to realize that she was never worth it
Jan 2014 · 738
You Make Me Feel
Kareena Jan 2014
The first summer's rain after the drought
Is always the sweetest

The first drop in the bucket after it has been emptied
Makes one feel the completest

You saved me from myself

From my thoughts

My unanswered questions

From the doubt in my mind

That I would ever find someone
Someone to make me feel like me

But not just myself, an enhanced me
Like I had always imagined it would feel
The first poem I ever wrote for that "Someone Special"
Jan 2014 · 1.3k
The Thief of Sorrow
Kareena Jan 2014
Happiness sneaks upon us when we least expect it
It appears without an appointment
It arrives without warning

At some point you find yourself lost in it
And wonder how you ever got along before

Happiness is an all-encompassing cloud
It steals sorrow like a thief in the night
It brushes the shadows aside

Happiness cannot be sought after
Because it will just disappear

But when you least expect it
Happiness comes
And it seeps into the cracks of your life

It ascends into the darkness
It banishes the blackness

And you have brought these feelings upon me
The utter joy that can't be put into words
By simply being who you are
For someone special
Jan 2014 · 2.2k
Until You Can Stay
Kareena Jan 2014
I am flooded by a new sensation,
An overwhelming peace
That gains strength with the rise and fall,
Of your chest, while you're laying next to me.

Your eyes are soft, your breath is easy
This moment, forever, I want to keep.
But slowly you slip away into the night
While I'm pretending I'm asleep

The bed suddenly loses its source of warmth
And it's you, now, that I miss.
But I maintain my sleepy facade
And wait for your goodnight kiss

It's soft, tender, and sweet
As your lips graze across my skin
Your touch leaves me in amazement
And I'm smiling from within

Now I'm left, all alone
To be covered by a dreamy slumber
But how can I give in so easily
When it's your spell I'm under?

Goodnight will never truly be good
Until you can pause and stay
No, goodnight will never really be good
Until I wake to your face at day.
For someone special
Jan 2014 · 678
Scream
Kareena Jan 2014
Why do your eyes still pierce my defense?
I am trying to guard my soul
I am looking at things unknown to me now
But familiar from times of ole.
That gaze you posses tears me apart.
It wounds my mind
It hurts my heart.
But you can't see my torn subconscious.
I look at my struggle
And I feel that I've lost it.
A four year battle all for nothing,
All in vain it seems.
I went in blooming and blushing
But all I can do now is scream.
I scream for you
I scream for me
I scream for all we were to be
For what else is there for me to do,
But sit here, helpless, and scream for you?
Jan 2014 · 1.1k
The Battlefield of Your Mind
Kareena Jan 2014
Have you ever stopped to think
That you aren't just hurting yourself?
The clatter, the clink
Of the knife across your scalp.
Don't you understand, my dear?
You were never alone.
I have been standing right here,
Trying to be your foster home.
So don't cry, broken child,
Out of anger, fear, or spite.
I always loved your smile,
Please, lay down for the night.
Rest your head, close your eyes
For a long, dreamy slumber.
Expel a great sigh
I have tried to quiet the thunder.
But only you can quiet those thoughts
That ****** record player in your mind.
It must be forgotten
You are smart, intelligent, and kind.
And you are loved
By me and by more.
And that figure above
Loves you more than before.
So, please, quiet this battle
Silence the fight.
And with me, please cuddle
And rest for the night.
This was written for someone who needed to hear it.

— The End —