I used to have a family
You know?
Back when I wasn't taken hostage
On your cold, ceramic tile counter top

And I used to eat real food
Did you notice I'm not a dog?
So feeding me mangled up, crushed bits of Purina
Doesn't make my coat shiny

I can remember a time when I felt alive
Instead of sleeping all day
Pretending to be dead
I used to be free

Then one day I was captured and sold into slavery
And you found me at that air-brushed T-shirt stand
In Ocean City
There you decided your life was incomplete without me

It's interesting how once we return to home
We forget about those summer nights
Wearing pucca shell necklaces
When you purchased me because of my superman shell

What is a superman anyway?
He mustn't be so super
If he can't get me far away
Far, far away from here