Kaiden

Kaiden Jun 28

I lay in bed,
Knowing i'll be dead by tomorrow.
The air is cold as always,
Gently brushing against my blood-stained skin.

The regret slowly starts slipping into my mind,
Yet i lay there,
Unable to move.
I stare at my body,
Knowing i was the cause of my own death
(Or was i?)

I let someone in,
Now i leave this world by myself,
Over a few stupid decisions,
Interactions that should have never happened.
I'm sorry.

this doesnt make any sense but i hope the message is clear enough

#suicide

Jun 26

Limes Carma

I Guess I Never Got To Cry About You

I didn’t want to fall apart mid-sentence,
So I said less and asked more questions.
Tuned out love songs, skipped our street —
I made avoiding you look complete.

I smile and nod when your name is mentioned,
As if it doesn't pull me out of the conversation
They throw it around casually, like it's not cutting right through —
I guess I never got to cry out about you.

#heartbreak #grief #lettinggo #closure #emotionaldistance #unsaid

Kaiden Jun 25

No.

A word you didn't seem to understand,
You acted on your thoughts
You believed everyone shared.

You tried to justify it by feelings,
Pretending there was a need for

The things you've done,
The innocence you've stolen
From your own child.

You imagined the desire
A toddler could never feel,
And proudly shared it with your friends.
Bragging about how mature
Your "little girl" was.

How good it felt for you,
To wipe the tears with the very same hand
That hurt me.

How you loved the sound
Of useless pleas,
A body you created to use.

sorry if this is triggering but im honestly so ******* done with my father, he moved to the same city as me recently and i'd rather die than be alone with him again cuz i know **** well what would happen

#**** #sa #no #father #abuse #trauma

Kaiden Jun 25

Control

A feeling
That over time turned into a word,
Being too far to reach.
Trying to reclaim it,
You get hurt,
Or hurt others,
For the tiniest feeling of power
That feels so wrong,
Yet so right.

Trying to regain control controls you.

at this point i dont really have control over much stuff but oh well

#control

Kaiden Jun 25

Reality

A nonexistent construct
Believed by many,
And broken by few.

nothing is real lol

#reality

Kaiden Jun 25

__

So i closed my eyes,
Hoping to blur the image,
Yet it stayed untouched.
Why must my own brain betray me?
Or it it me that can't seem to let go?

it's been almost 8 months, i should be over this by now..

#breakup

Kaiden Jun 24

..

Has your voice fallen silent,
Or is it my ears that no longer hear?
Did your words fade away,
Or is it my eyes that went blind?
Did the paper burn,
Or does my hand no longer know how to write?

Tell me,
Do these stupid words answer the question,
I yet have to look for?
The question,
I've been so afraid to ask,
Let alone find.

Is it my fault,
That you no longer exist in my world,
Or did the universe see you as a mistake on its own?
Is it my fault,
That i simply cannot hate you?

could be better, honestly, but at least i went back to writing (i deadass have no idea what to write about but as long as it sounds decent, i dont mind i guess.. i need someone to write about, but for that i will have to wait ****)