i watch his
raven black curls
flowing in the wind
settling perfectly on his
forehead

i smell the
cologne on his wrist
and he asks ‘what do you think’
‘i think you’re perfect’
is what i would say
but i don't

i brush by
his hand
and a part of me
shatters
knowing i won’t hold it

i hear
the melodious ring
of his laughter
putting me in a trance

i don’t taste
his breath on mine
and i wouldn’t mind
having a reminder
of his lips on mine

i’m inspired
be my muse
while we listen to muse

why do they say,
‘love thy neighbour’
then spit in their faces?

why is the exception to that rule
when they are different?

don’t they know that
god created us different
for a purpose
a reason?

they let dogmas blind their hearts
like blindfolds they keep on themselves
swimming in the babble of the hard hearted

poke your head above the water
see the light
love your neighbour as yourself

let that commandment not be mere words
on paper
live it; embrace it; do it

like a waterfall gently trickling down
or a willow tree gently swaying in the wind
like the wind blowing through his hair
or the whites of his eyes
i was there
needing willingness

william william william william william william william william william william

w
wi
wil
will
willi
willia
william  
willia
willi
will
wil
wi
w

william william william william william william
william william william william william william william william william william william william
william william william william william william

do i like him
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

will i ever be with him
probably not probably not probably not probably not

am i sad about it
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

why do i like him
his eyes, his smile, his music taste, his curly hair, his sense of humour, his laugh, him

like an inaccessible mountain
he stands there
looking majestic and
beautiful
i will not ever be with him
and looking at him reminds me
he is not mine
he will not be mine
he can not be mine
unless god intervenes

i don’t want clever conversation
never want to work that hard
i just want someone that i can talk to
i want you just the way you are


not going to be his
not going to be anything but a friend
not going to run my hands through his black curls
not going to see him after we graduate college
not going to talk to him
not going to spend maths lessons with him
not going to talk to him in pe
not going to shove him again

what will i do
get a husband that’s not as good as him
one that doesn’t make me laugh like he does
one who doesn’t have his sense of humour, his curls, his music taste
one that isn’t him

what a **** life
a life without will french
a life without the man who makes me feel like someone cares about me

a life without oxygen
i don’t want to compromise
i’d rather have him
please god
god
god
god
lord
jesus
father
please
yahweh
let me be with him
a heaven without him isn’t heaven
heaven is perfect
he is perfect
perfection
perfect like
the rain
a black cat
his eyes
his hair
his freckles

all the light is here
nothing else near
just the spirit