all of my nightmares are becoming half-realities
and i am the only person chasing them
i'm waiting on too many half-answers
on things i can only half-see
i feel only half-me

looking through the box you left behind
(y)our memories
bits that made you up
anarchy, literature
five bracelets, mouse ears
i see my face here.

the Christmas gift I wrote you
when I had no money left
but you knew I spent it all
our first holiday

a picture of us in paradise
facing your namesake
two sith and I
looking at you with innocence
honest, earnest love

left behind with your handwriting
"Office and Important Things to Keep"

sometime I walk by spaces
and the air reminds me how you smell
always in the in-between

I can hear you when it whistles
I drink those moments in,
and I am alive again.

the people who lived here are dead.

sometimes the night nudges me awake
and the air makes its way into my ear
all the while, whispering:
“You really changed everything, didn’t you?”

I sat at the table we sat at two years ago
I had the same terrible airport omelette
with the same soapy airport coffee
it feels like I should be sharing this with you
as if I simply forgot to book your flight

it was the first time someone called us correctly
we sat in the right seats,
on a morning brighter than this

it’s all gray
missing luggage on a cross country flight
I sat in the right seat
and felt warm pretending

The moon stands still in the night sky.
Stars dancing as they catch my eye.
Looking left
                   Looking right
There is no movement in the dead of night.
Slowly time ticks by,
and yet I find myself unmoved.
Transfixed by the calmness of the night.