I remember the room,
the way it smelled
so fresh
& you
so ripe
lying there
in all your splendor.

O Darling,
that sweet fragrance
burns,
has left a brand
on my brain,
I'll never get
over the searing,
'cause
I loved your heat.

And our love is like a suburban tree,
Rooted in dog ****,
Smashed through concrete,
And struggling every day to survive.

m.c.c.

that when you love someone,
You love them with everything

You love them with their hurt

You love them with their scars

You love them with their tears,
and you love with all your heart

I think I may have found that,

Slightly broken and well-worn

But what's love without its hiccups,
most disease can be cured

But I'm still waiting for that someone,

to see me as I am

I'm waiting for that someone

to be here and now

You love someone with everything

Scars, tears, and hurt

They will love you in return
with your scars tears and hurt

And they will love you beyond their own pain

And I'm waiting.

I've got my heart right here,
I've got my scars right here

What i wanted
Was sun
But instead
I got rain
What i wanted
was love
But instead
I got pain
What i wanted
was peace
But instead
i got hate
And from what i feel
I think everyone can relate

I am an insomniac by association.
I associate with sleepless nights and mindsets that are too wobbly and shaky to be anything less than a tornado.
I want to rename my veins after hurricanes.
This one's Sandy because it washed away the girl I loved in New Jersey.
Because the ocean is never as salty as my cheeks after I kiss her through the miles.
Because I am not a boy, because my mother thinks I wear black because I used to slit my wrists.
Because of my tattoos that whisper of their memories while I lay in bed counting the stars I can't see.
So I start counting the stars I see in my head.
So I started taking drugs that made me see them instead.
I am an insomniac because I want to sleep but only when I remember the reasons why I can't.

red blood cells live for about four months
white blood cells can live for over a year
skin cells live about two to three weeks

slowly, hour by hour
day by day
week by week
month by month
year by year
my body will die and replace itself

and surely enough
some day
eventually
i will have a body you never touched
and hair you never pulled

Nine forty- three.
I look at the clock and that's all I see.
It wouldn't be so grim
If it didn't remind me.
But those three digits
Are the start of your phone number
And that lobs me back into a cycle
I never desired to enter again.

And the damaging memories don't resurface
Just the gleeful things manage to pull through.
And I find myself
Relearning to miss all that was you.

I wish
I could hold you heart in both of my hands
And be allowed the opportunity
To toy with it all I want

And then maybe
You could feel what you are doing to me
And you could stop devastating
Every aspect of me.

i
hold
grudges
like
my
mother
&
leave
first
like
my
father.