It all started with you telling me to close my eyes and that you have a little surprise for me.

We were laying in your bed with dim lights on and you grabbed my face and kissed me yet i kept my eyes closed because if i opened them ******* i would've seen the mistake i made and it would've dragged me into a self made hell i made in my imagination that was leaded by you

yet that hell would've been the only place where i felt comfortable so i opened my eyes and kissed you back to know what kissing a snake felt like

sometimes when i look at you i get chills down my body knowing that i love you but i wish i didnt

when i kissed you i closed my eyes wondering if what we had or would have one day is real

when i kiss your lips i start trembling but **** i cant help but kiss you

when i was at home alone you texted me

"hey im on my way to your house lets drive around"

we drove around talking about how big the universe is and how we're not alone and blah blah blah

then i was silent for about 20 seconds and you parked your car downtown and no one was around and you looked me in the eye and said "i love you"

i looked at you while you looked at me and said i love you too

and in my head i thought i wish i didnt

it was a week or two later we were driving to a restaurant and we held hands as you drove and your car went out of control and went off the bridge

i woke up a day later in a hospital bed with you in the bed next to mine but when i called your name something seemed a miss

your body was covered except for your hand which was hanging on the side and when i held it you were cold and i found out i was the only one who survived

at your funeral i laid a rose on your casket and told you i loved you but i wished i didnt

when i was with you were an _
i wouldnt call it a relationship
because there was no relation
although there was a ship
but you were on the bow with your arms out
and i was an anchor waiting to be dropped

i figured happiness would be my top priority, not a letter that defines my intelligence.

... and i felt you tighten the noose around my neck
and i felt you push the chair from under my legs.

we lied down on her bed
and she told me the story of how her father left
with a cigarette in her left hand
and my hand in her right
she spoke with sound of sadness and
she looks at the wall
and hangs on it is
a photo of her father
she wraps her arms around me
and she cries for what seems like
an eternity

how did i spend my 16th birthday?
listening to my parents argue

where did i go?
nowhere, just my room

was it celebrated at all?
no

was it anything to remember?
**** no

our first space date will be in over 20 years or maybe even a lot more
we'll be traveling at the speed of light
i'll be holding ur hand and then we arrive at saturns rings
i pull out the picnic basket and we have a picnic on the second biggest planet in our solar system !!
while we're eating i kiss ur cheek and tell you i love you
we fly out to the local galactic group and observe the andromeda galaxy, the second most beautiful thing ive ever seen
and then we makeout for like 20 minutes and then we travel back to planet earth