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Do I tear it out
And wear it on my sleeve
Tear it out
And let you see

Seeing you is agonizing
Your feel haunts me
Poisoning my thoughts
You dominate my memory

Heart in my throat
I'm paralyzed
This is all rote

Darlin I'm weak
Nothing but a shell
The words I won't speak
I'll sit alone in my hell

Yes I'll stay away
Why should an angel
Lower her gaze

Do I tear it out
And end it all
Tear it out
To the ground to fall

No way to recompense
Without ground to stand on
In silence I'll persist
why
listening to Ne-yo
"what am I gonna do with forever now?"
how
will I breathe?    

every breath that I take
with every move I make
it's feeling more and more like I'm making the same mistakes.

because I breathe in
and I think of- of him
again

the memories
they get the best of me
**** me slowly
painfully
I ask again:
how will I breathe?

we've already established well enough that I can't see
maybe love can blind you
pain does the same but it also has more damage to do

pain targets my memories
the ones that get the best of me
tear apart the rest of me
force me to hold on and cry
lest I
forget
the good times
each and every morning's sunrise
every time I opened my eyes

to see the guy I thought
was the one for me

he and I are one
and the same

though he took all of my pain
away
every
single
day.

but every sweet and romantic kiss, every soothing touch...
it was a lie.

now all I can do is try
not to cry
I
sit and sigh
stare at the sky
wondering a simple thing
yet it is so complex indeed:

why did he come into my life and hurt me?
why didn't he just stay the hell away, and let me be?
why did I choose to let him in?
now I'm stuck with torment I can't describe-
would you like me to begin?

I mean, I
can try...

it's like having your heart ripped open then
sewing it shut
yet you still can't stop the fact that you care-
is this too much?

I mean, to care
though he is elsewhere.
yet... not so far away
because it would take me less than a day
to reach him
if I wanted to
it is something I could do.

this pain
is worse than I thought it would be
never before had I let someone this
close to me...
forever I'll be
wondering why...
Upon ye,
The mercy will never be seen.
Reckless am I,
Settling for less
Visualizing the more
Behold,
We are alive
Another piece of meat
in the air
Controlled
by the next demon passing by
We are
Filled up like a balloon
With the blood of Christ
Yet thou,
Only believe
In
what you see,
What you feel
Forever
is inside,
Let us not
Weep.
Weak is the heart
At the time of death
There,
thy eyes bleed.
Thanksgiving thoughts
I stood afraid to love you
Completely as you needed
So I kept my distance
Ensuring our romance was defeated

My reflection darkened
In your sweet eyes
By another's shadow
Such a hard compromise

In their eclipse
I felt atoms tall
I apoligize for everything
I hated feeling so small

I know now what I should have done
Taken the dive
To show you I was the one
  Dec 2016 Jonathan B Wilson
Melissa S
I am afraid you
won't like what
you see....
So inside these words
I stay and remain free
Piece by piece
I give a little of me
At least you will know where I'll be
Maybe I can find my worth
Somewhere in all these words
too broken
so will remain frozen
Inside these words
Why do songs about lost love
Always bring to mind your face
Every wistful tune
Filling my mouth with your taste

Your memory sneaking from my radio
Making me think again
Why didn't I take a different road
Why wasn't I a better friend

My speakers filled with tunes
I could swear you wrote
Highlighting all my wrongs

Now sing me into misery
While your memory haunts me in song
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