need to swim more
lengthen ma muscles
cool ma brain
float before i hit the drain

need to dive from sweat
into the cool clear deep
snap ma head back into place
sluice the grime offa my soul

float for a small eternity
take a dip to rearrange
ma dna, get in touch with
the primordial me,
osmos some salt, remember
the sea, grow some interal gills
just be just drift, with the tide
be taken not steer,
need to steep and stew and brew...

I feel the world crashing
Falling all around me
Hiding, inside, shaking
But I'm okay

My head in a million pieces
I don't know who I am
Or who I'm supposed to be
But I'm okay

I'm okay
Yeah, I'm pretending
I'm okay

I'm okay
Keep on telling myself
I'm okay

Sometimes I think of you
How you used to hurt me
Then giving me all the blame
But I'm okay

Yes, I have had better days
Wanting to be somewhere
Somewhere away from this
But I'm okay

I'm okay
Yeah, I'm pretending
I'm okay

I'm okay
Keep telling myself
I'm okay

My mind is a little crazy
Locked up in my asylum
Where all the mad me dwell
But I'm okay

No one listens to my voice
I can't tell if I still exist
Or a figment of my imagination
But I'm okay

I'm okay
Yeah, I'm Pretending
I'm okay

I'm okay
I don't believe myself
I'm okay

Copyright © Chris Smith 2016

I miss my friend so much
the one I could tell anything
no judgment,
no advice,
just understanding.
Ten years gone now
too long to be friend-lonely
too long to not
see her smile
too long to not
share tears
and laughter
too long to be without
that safe, caring place
she held in her heart.

Ten years gone

I miss my son so much
first-born, brain tumor fighter
brave, determined, inspiring
Ten years gone now
too long to be son-lonely
too long to feel his brothers'
brother-lonely
too long to not
see his smile
too long to not
share the tears
and laughter
too long to not
share the fight
too long not to say
"Good Morning, Sunshine!"

July and November
months of painful memories
and in between
- Autumn -
the dying of the year

Ten years gone now
too long to carry grief
that never goes away.

(A Psalm for Protection: God is apt to keep.)

My soul, rest comfortably in the Lord;
No harm shall come nor evil befall.

The watchman watches to protect;
The burden of security rests upon him.
Always alert, he does not sleep
Because he is the watchman,
And the goods are left to his charge.

God, the faithful keeper,
Mightily shielding those in his care.
He neither slumbers nor sleeps,
But his eyes faithfully watch everywhere.

My lord
Show me the real love
And if you don’t mind
Send it to me
with an angelic dove.