Winter
I know it's coming
Yet still it surprises
Catches me off balance
It's ferocity
It grinds all things
To a standstill
I step outside and marvel at its might
At a world upended
Abandoned
I am alone
Gale force winds
Are no match
For the crushing weight
Of winters silence

Winter
Is something we knew
was coming
Such dire predictions
Predicated with vague hopes
That it may not come
Or be like this
Still we prepare
For my winter
No, our winter
Although I fear it
Drains the warmth from us both
And shake as I might
I will not be able to warm you
In the cold winter night
I am still
Twitching
Restless and rummaging
For what I do not know

Winter
I wish to run out and greet you
Fly upon your winds
And float upon your back
Flee into your cold
And starkness and silence
Eyes tearing
Heart pounding
Lungs searing as
Icy hands pillage them
My frozen facade
Shattered
Fragmented
scattered
By a laugh
sparkling
bits of me
To show you
I am
still

Four months
Too long
Too cold
Too dark
Too busy
Held ransom
By reasons
No excuses
Idiopathic idiocy
Pathological apathy
Four months
Of pain
Eradicated by
four seconds
Of cycling
Cognitive breakthrough
A synaptic symphony
Endorphin re-indoctrination
Free flight
From myself
Four months
*******

Who are you really?
Hazy collection of cherry picked memories
Sort them as you will
Arrange them to your liking
Till you see what you want to see
Parallax  personality
Expectations supplant reality
Composite sketch puzzle
So many years
So many pieces
So many
you
Missing pieces
Filled in at your discretion
Until redirection
All the world is but a stage
But this is not a solo show
You Strut upon
Well Practiced lines
Their delivery
Outlines
The picture you want us to see
The person you want
To be
But you are no magician
And no acting
Can completely conceal
How you act
The reveal
Your true self
Spilling out
Of your ill fitting
People suit
For the missing pieces
Belong to us
And we shall see you
As we see fit

My words fail
Frail
And
Fearful
Slipping from my lips
To crash at my own feet
Bringing me down
Flailing
A silent cry
In the dark
A hidden monument  
To dread
And disease
And despair
Built by
Pride and
Stubbornness
Independent
Of reality

Avoidance
And complacency
led you
To this place
Static
Built
this arena
The Matadors
gaze
Fierce
Angry
Scornful
Challenging and
Antagonizing you
Charge
Or have you
Confused
A white flag
For red
Again

Dusk and
Dawn
The fleetingest
Of Moments
When
The world
Pauses
Then
Pivots
And reveals
A brief glimpse
The enormity
Of Everything
A story
Told in hues
So that
you may
Understand

My Body
Is evidently
damning
I plead for
Clemency
I do not
Wish to leave
Not my time
I do not
Want to serve
My changed mind
An Unspeakable
Sentence
An inescapable
Outcome
Fugitive
In
A fuge state
Pardon me