Fell in love with the girl at the till
Queuing for food that's against my will
Order at first booth, I'm in for the ****
Not the 'whats your food baby', she doesnt fit the bill
Rolling up to the next to grab my fill
Acting cool, looking smart, I'm just pure chill
She looks me in the eye, I loose my practised drill
I ramble, I stutter, just noticing her name is Lil
Those words I blabbed, just came to nothing, think I lost this one nil
As I opened up the burger I'd just bought, stupidely ordering the dill

JJB

Whatever is that urge, that unthoughtful splurge, to annihilate every last thought of that day
to drink to kingdom come, conversations with anyone, and spend all that you have been paid

what ungodly flicker of thought, has you drinking that last drop that you bought
until the sun rises, awake on a bench, lessons that really cannot be taught

Rewind that human clock, until a time when all was once well
hindsight on a wrong word said, tripped in conversation, drink brings up its show and tell
that marriage that you could have had, now stalked each day on Facebook
sent them a drunk friend request, regrets in the morning, crazy thoughts that overtook

I love you man, a Tesco ban, for stealing ***** after the midnight hour of twelve
we laughed and sang, kebabs and dips, only here once so what the hell
the morning after, 12 cans and draught ale, anything that doesn’t touch the sides
your head is thumping, hair of the dog is calling, Round 2 of this stupid drunken ride

But at what point do we put the brakes on, man’s liver this wasn’t built for, the older the less wiser
you’ve tried the lagers, you’ve tried the ciders, lets knock it on the head, time for the Tizer
for the greyer the hair the less you can bare, as our bodies are not getting any younger
now I love to be merry, but it’s a weight I can’t carry, as drink is a thing I can’t do any longer

Drunk

JJB

If you want to show them what your like then do
(Think about it now)
Let you be you
(Don't)
Get up and dance, ignoring the few
(Please don't)
You've been here 2 weeks, it's good to be true
(Seriously, listen to that voice in future)
The MD's wife looks alright, put out your hand
(What have I just done)
Get up my love, never mind him, let's dance
(Oh God)
Put your hands out to this beat, be it 60's or trance
(Seemed like fun)
Now I'm thinking back to what the hell have I done
(I told you)
A few drinks on the company bill, was only a bit of fun
(how can I avoid work on Monday?)
The start of the new week and what have I to come
(Are they smirking still at my boldness)
Sit down, computer on, Inbox half full
(OK, not so bad)
Usual junk and the odd serious email but there it is, lingering
(Let's hope he's in a good mood)
See me at 10, we need to have a chat
(**** it)

JJB

15 days on the side of road
Nowhere to sleep since I left my home
I just need somewhere to dump my load
Kicking up dust with the frogs and toads
I just need some place to dump my load
No lights or bedding to call my abode
I just need somewhere to dump my load
No right move in stalemate mode
I just needed some place to dump my load
Not one PC could break this code
I just need someone somewhere to dump my load
And when, I finally figure out, this meaning, I'm froze
Please little darling, just let me dump my load!

JJB

Times turn for that night on the town
All week at work and now it’s time to be found
This way or that way a few shots at the bar,
A pint or two now just settle the nerves
Skin on skin if it’s Sonny or Cher
A night back at mine for I don’t really care

You’re a desperate case of loving if that’s what you want
Anywhere will do if you drink from that font

Hello, from the ***** side of drinking
Hello, just what had you been thinking
Had enough, of this desperate kind of torture
Time to change, to a newer type of nature

A new you well that’s what you’re thinking
Giving up on highs and the ugly side of sinking
A road of new signs, travel now to somewhere
That new name, taken out of fresh air
Let’s build this man, another to mix with the yes I cans
Married with that job, no different from you and me man

You’re a desperate case of loving if that’s what you want
Anywhere will do if you drink from that font

Hello, from the ***** side of drinking
Hello, just what had you been thinking
Had enough, of this desperate kind of torture
Time to change, to a newer type of nature

So, this is me, fresh new eyes to a world of cynicism
The choices I once now made open to your scepticism
Times move on so let’s forget the mistakes I made
I was young and open to most things I’m afraid
There’s no next time so lets just try it now
You’re along time dead, just give it all a go
Its goodbye from me as I take my final bow,
Easy tiger.

JJB

Take a picture. Snap! Now show the world where you have been
That brilliant destination and all of the sights that you have seen
Be it Morocco and onto Timbuctoo, not a thing ever went wrong
The lies that we can tell whilst singing a different song

We live the perfect life as seen by the planet and its friends
Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, instantly removed in a millisecond
For what they can see is fake and often ******
A quick brush up, a digitized wipe and Instagram is oh so worthy

A story to tell your friends of that fantastic night out
Not to mention that later on the bouncer kicked you all out
Delete that girl in the background that you pulled after that shot
The town bike to all who know, never going back to that spot

For social media will always tell a different story
Best looking people in the frame, a night of unreal glory
Waking up with an STD, let’s keep that well away
Some **** at the bar not smooth and slick, forget the box of Milk Tray
For this never happened looking down at your feet
Hers or his, whoevers bed it is
Hence,

Edited

JJB

200 million years since the last lot were here
AD,BC, not applicable
No religeon to now fear
For Earth has been through its toughest of showers
From the cosmos to the ice frosts
It slowly rebuilds its supernatural powers
As life as we once knew it
Steadily grows again from the ground
A third phenomenon now raises its heartbeaten head
To see what planet is left to be compound
What God of universal proportion could make this reoccur
Are they bored in their place of work
Twiddling their thumbs
Calculating their sums
Prodding with a fork, ideas of whats next, but mainly smalltalk
But something is now slowly growing
A breed to outdo the previous they had sewing
Life as they know it has a fresh new face
Something truly phenominal
To inherit this Earth and put life back in its place
Until that day
We continue to **** this planet of everything it has
Down to its very last natural fibre
From its oil and its wind and down to the sea
A home of now I could not, unfortunately, describe her

JJB

I can't cry at a human death
Yet ball like a baby at my cats last breath
Nothing stirs my soul if its on the telly
Yet football with one last goal can devour me to my belly
Its not an act to try and look hard
That's just me, myself and I
A complete,
Emotional ****** 😢

JJB

A wrong word, a comma out of place
Misspelled, hyphenated, split into two
English sometimes a second language to me

A conversation taken too far
Stop! Don't tell that tale, now hindsight playing on your mind
What if they tell my parents, a big mouth I sometimes have

A joke, somebody's you heard on television
Don't try and make it your own
Its universal, you look like a fool, its out in the cosmos

A chat-up line, cheesy but sincere, will she even laugh
She smiled, now go away, try harder
Your persistence now overwhelming, time to cut that cord

The older you get, you then start to realise
Most things really are not worth it
The chase, the charm, what did you expect, no finish line in the race

To watch the ruler of the free world elected by the rabble
He says what he wants, laughed off in a tirade
But how long will he last by stating these massive promises

Yes we have all said something and thought back on that
Did that actually just come out of my mouth?
Yes, it really did, as on this Earth, hell,

Even I Make Mistakes

JJB

Hold on to that last thought
It could be your best
Save yourself from falling
Gulping the air back from your chest
Every second of life
Is this all just a test
As were only here once so savior
Every last drop of breath

JJB

We all want to live the high life, but few can ill afford it
The glamour the glitz to dining at the Ritz, a means to which we could all be easily adjusted
But the nine till five pays pittance for those shots in Hello and Vogue
The dreamer can dream their dreams while living off that hefty loan

The Range Rover, the Levante, the Lexus RX, who wouldn’t be jealous of a little luxury
The clothes to the house with security and lights, boy you must be worth a few pennies
Erroneousness and the falsehood of a life well concealed
Paying back that percentage rate from which you may now reel

The reality is your just keeping up with the Jones's
Penny pinching is a way of life but best not show the neighbours
Walk on with your head held high in the knowing that all’s not good
Struggling to pay the bills and sometimes even your food

So here comes the bail out from someone close by
Indebted to your eyeballs without the decency to even cry
The banks would laugh at your misgivings knowing the debt was in their hands
But you carry on, it’s a way of life hanging onto that final strand

You’re in the clear, all debt is gone, time to make a fresh new start
A second hand Fiesta, *** burns in the seat, what happened to my big shiny car
The mums at the gate all talking in sneers, now that I’m out of the pack
Fill out that online form, more credit to burn, time to get back on track,
and revitalize that false front.

JJB

Monday
Its going to start
The diet
I'll try it
No
I'll blast it
How hard can it be
Nutrition
Carbs
Vitamins C through to Z
Go for a run
That'll be fun
Join a boot-camp 3 times a week
10 burpys
10 timed runs
10 press-ups
Bring it on
The short lived enthusiasm starts to wain
I work in an office everyday on the train
The mornings hurt
Oh the pain!
I'll try it again when the urge starts to ******
When the clothes start to pinch and its time for a wiggle
Everyday life just getting in the way
When the office is going for a lunchtime run I'd rather just sit
Bring on that day when its just a click of the wrist
Yeah, I know, whatever,

Far from Fit

JJB

Sat idle in my stand,
watching,
waiting,
on the rest of the band
A quiet wooden box of strings
Humble and shining, just ready to do my thing
They plod through the acoustics, oh such a bore
It's time to let rip baby, gimme some power chords!
As the hits keep coming, soon to take my bow
Let's deafen these crazed punters, let me start this row
As you thought that noise was Mr Marshall all at the wrong settings
Uh-uh dear listeners, it's my veins just over jetting
Pick me up you freak, finger me into some heavenly patterns
So let's rock,
let's roll,
and let this frustrated cut out do its feedback chatting

🤟🏼

JJB

He was the first to score a hatrick on the newest astroturf pitch
He was the first on his new BMX to jump that ***** ditch
He  was the first to kiss the best looking girl in the school
He was the first that all kids thought he was cool

She was the first to have the Rainbow Collection of My Little Pony
She was the first to lend me her toys as mine were all phoney
She was the first to be picked for the school netball team
She was the first to date the boy on the bike we all thought was a dream

Looking back they deserved each other as they were the first to be divorced
A love so pictured, so fragile, it was almost movie scored
So no to be the first to everything in sight
I'm happy in my own little world just taking my own flight

From first to last, nothing will be remembered in the past

JJB

Pick a team from the local to the ten counties away
Inherited from your father or defiant like no other
Typical football fan that likes a bit of banter
No way I’ll be the same as my brother

Be it a County or a Town, there will always be days where you’ll have to frown
From striker to the keeper, mistakes are made where someone acted the clown
But when Saturday comes that will all be forgotten
Hat-trick from the Spaniard you’re once again smitten

The rivalries increase from City to United
Yours will always be the best team well that’s what your dad said
From the Celtic to the Rangers down to the Arsenals and the Hotspurs
Trouble has brewed for years without a kick-start or a stir

And then the billionaires stepped in and made it a business
Money to be made from the working class through to the Stubhub ticket
The tout on the street is an illegal source of income
Whack on a tax and the Governments blind eye is now looking handsome

So how far can this escalate with wages and ticket price entry
The first player worth a billion is only a few years away
Stadiums that hold a capacity where nobody can actually see
You think I’m making a joke, it’s all on the horizon believe me,
It’s a way of life,
Football

JJB

I could speak to you tomorrow for an hour or two
See you next week and wouldn't know it was you
Any distinctions go right over my head
From a great big nose to something you said
You could stand out in the crowd
With a rainbow telling the world you are proud
But to me you are just another forgotten face
No recollection of time nor place
You could be the nicest of guys or a bit of a ****
No matter what, we should all wear a name tag

#IthinkIhaveaproblem

JJB

Not all yours but at first glance it looks like they are your fine pile
Lanzarote, Greece, even the Tower called Eiffel
Clumped together like a map of exceeding heats
From Lisbon down to Cape Town
Tell me of these differing seats

Did you really fly through the depths of the Grand Canyon
Or take a helicopter to that quiet place known as the Scilly Islands
Yet venture the climbing follies around Ben Nevis
And take a gondola ride around the canals of Venice

The adventure parks known as Chessington and Alton Towers
Where the rides left a taste that came out as sour
Your friends have bought you such distance as OZ and NZ
Where they'd be flying in the sky and you'd be at home in your bed

One day I will have the money and aspiration to fly to such a place
For now I will let the young adventurers fly away with such grace
As I seem to be grounded without the bank-to-fly
Do I really want to thoroughly say goodbye?

Hmm, Well I know what you mean
I'm slightly batty to have crazy yet ambitious dreams
So don't poke around my passport looking for stamps to check
As like lies on my fridge magnet door, I haven't been there yet

Fridge Magnets (most of them are fibs you know)

JJB

Look at all the places that I have been
London where I live, that one, I'm not so keen
But are you not in awe of my well travelled life
Pinned an atlas to the wall and just threw a random knife
Australia, New Zealand and home through L.A.
No magnet in Fiji, just a pic of me and the bay
Getting by on the fragments of lingo
Then the essential call home, but mums normally at the bingo
Not much room left for anymore reminders
But no magnet for the Bermuda Triangle, hmm
And on that strange thought
I will leave you to decipher

JJB

Sat staring at my computer screen
(The monotone)
Wondering if this really is all a bad dream
(Feels like a lobotomy)
Work so dull I just want to scream
(Someone please clobber me)
My thoughts so dusty and dry
(Bus ride home, some hellish geometry)
Blueberrys grow through the side of the fence
(Free food from our Gods own apple tree)
But somebody please put me into that long sleep,
And out of my own failed misery

JJB

A word that is new to me,
Crept up like a bug over the China seas,
Where a chunk of the land have now been put on this epidemic called furlough,
You'll soon get your job back, in this temporary new low
So the Government has promised to pay us eighty percent
Yeah, thanks Mr Johnson, that still just about covers my rent
And back to work with a tax increase so large to pay for this mess
Its coming people, mark my words, don't believe a word that politician says

Those automatic doors slide aside
A nod from the cashier sat reading a TV Guide
You don't want food but it's always worth a look
Ten glass doors of refrigerated crap
Might have a bite and forget that diet book
From a Ginsters cheese and onion slice
To a Scotch egg with Coke, I wouldn't think twice
Still forty five miles from wife and my home
This'll plug that gap, from some microwave dinner and her everyday moan
A quick glance at the mags including Readers Wives and the over Sixty Fours
Hell, why look up there, that's what the mobile phones are for
So sat in my Volvo XC90 in the car park just stuffing my face
We've all done it knowing its a selfish disgrace
That secret pre eating of food which we all really and truly embrace
And of the self rightous it would really really annoy
But you only live once,
you naughty naughty boy.

Garage Food

JJB

Discovered immediately
No
Nothing is
Time is the conundrum that unravels certain things
350 million years and then, ta da!
The steam engine
Yeah, that took time
OK, so there was nobody about for a while
Maybe God isn't as clever as he thinks
Dinosaurs
Mass global deconstruction in its weather conditions
Ice-Age
Demolition on Planet Earth
Lets start again
Humans
They'll be fun!
Throw some religion into the mix
Oh, and jealousy, a good story needs some jealousy
And blood
And weapons
Where is this ship heading
Phase 3?
Could well be on the horizon soon
God needs to whistle to a different tune
Maybe were just a chapter in an all beings stupid little book
Whats next
Lets a have a peek, come on, just a little look

JJB

Its been a long night
The ones you fancied have left in fright
Anything'll do now
A fat one,
A badly dressed one,
A four kids at 22 one,
A Mackie Dees for breakfast one,
A ITV2 is my favourite channel one,
I just need reassurance and some fake love
Enough to just top me up
To keep me going from the break up I never saw coming
For this is now a kingdom with no rule,
So my love,

Get your coat (you've pulled).

JJB

He believes that one day we'll all travel in super speedy cars
Hitting speeds that'll burn up the roads tar
That we'll fly from country to country among the night skies
Landing a thousand miles away for American burger and fries
We'll speak through glass screens that he once saw on Thunderbirds
Have portable speaking devices invented scientists but used by nerds
Will break the speed of sound and stop fighting with swords
Only he dreamt this up now asleep on Concorde
What ever you believe just think it to come true
Because whatever you believe in then that dream is in you.

JJB

You many not have heard the name as its not up there with Gardner or Ms.Hepburn
But this Jewish lady a lot we could certainly learn

Coming through a war which persecuted her kind
A career in acting her first go to but not her true bind

I mean, what could a woman do to change the tides of time
Make the first ****** movie and be barred from the shelves of prime

Titled "The Worlds Most Beautiful Woman" yet not acclaimed for her genius
Put on show as the lady who just wanted Clarke Gable's kiss

No, she had a lot more to for us to see and follow
As this woman's depths were hardly that of shallow

You think your phone is modern day wit and hard grind
This lady had the future in her head with all of this in mind

We marveled at how our gadgets all worked wirelessly on this thing called Bluetooth
She had this written down in a 40's laboratory, the Gods honest truth

Looking to where has a signal because you can't get your WiFi
Hedy had this equated and sussed before Vodaphone even tried

You'll be thinking next that GPS was invented by 2 guys Tom-Tom
How disappointed you would be and completely Wrong (Wrong)

Sometimes I feel genius is too weak a word for a person with such heroism and valour
Rising through what she had to do even if it was a version of Samson and Delilah

Look up this beauty of a time that is nearly forgotten
As there is a lot to learn from a lady so overlooked and almost downtrodden

Never let your genius be dismissed and shunned from afar
Because the world needs people like the once beautiful and quietly inspirational,

Hedy Lamarr

JJB

Two words that I'd longed to hear
A death of which had no cheer
That hero of many a long year
Where Mos Eisley pirates would begrudgingly raise a beer
For once a crazy man who had no fear

And as he spoke those words to his son Kylo Ren
He knew he had regained his trust
His one and only Ben......

Hey Kid

JJB

Watching the high street bustling by
I'm not sure if I'm disgusted, ill digested or just want to cry
The buildings, the streets, the people, all want to make me weep
The Turkish barbers, the tattoo parlour,
All just a front they must keep
Friends with carers, soon with pallbearer, a life they cannot lead alone
Sat on street corners, dealers with quarters, all nattering on their mobile phones
Most smoking a vape, different flavours to take
So many races I could not name
Nowhere to park
The place an old mask
Of a generation now mostly all gone
Just jump online
Amazons just fine
For those shoes to be dropped at my door
We just sit in our seats
No longer a heartbeat
Our old friend
The British High Street....

JJB

A glimmer of hope
Through the lingering smoke
The cough I know as my wife's
As she ran to my arms
In the background smoke alarms
Still ringing like we couldn't see the fires
Whilst the news just made hearts sink
Of this, you really wouldn't think
In California, no technology, to battle such things
From the beach up unto the forest banks
Celebrity houses gone, Mel Gibson to Tom Hanks
No money can put out such ferocious natural turmoil
But there is always hope
So let's splutter through the choke
And rebuild after the fire and the Hollywood smoke

JJB