Waking up and checking the battery on your unplugged phone
(why did I check Facebook at 3am and not plug it back in?)
74%
The start of any relationship at blistering pace then the brakes apply
(It happens to us all and we don't know why)
74%
That dream holiday, the arrival, the meet the people, the leaving to head home as youve just had enough now
(With the bragging that just ends up in a row)
74%
Discovering new shortcuts on that upgraded mobile phone, I'll never get bored of this!
(A month now gone and someting better already on the list)
74%
Augusts new car off the line and youre proud to say its yours
(January hits and its now become a bore)
74%
Netflix has a new hit and its grabbed the worlds attention
(It's now series six and its falling to bits and needs a formal suspension)
74%

We all seem to plod on at this number on a daily basis, and it does us all well.
You don't need to be one hundred percent all the time, or we'd all just mope and dwell.
So raise a smile when needed, and speak to those who sometimes need it.
For life is too short to for hang ups and woes, it's just led how you see fit.

JJB

We can't just go on feeling like this
A kick, a comment, refused a goodbye kiss
That verbal black eye that might have well have been a fist

People around you not really giving a ****
You'll be OK, just think of the others, they're stuck in a rut
Not me, oh no, I need a change of luck

So where do I start and what direction to take
A new job, a new start, a spruce of my CV with grades that are fake
That boss that can have a laugh, taking me on out of good grace

A change would do you good once sang Sheryl Crow
Start a new path and leave the rest in tow
Waking up with a perk instead of feeling so ****** low

Coursing that path is an easy thing to write
Jumping in-front of that speeding traffic, yes its a big fright
But you have to move your story and take that daring bite

For this cannot carry on forever as somethings has to be arranged
Sail for new seas on a ship and to be blown in a different way
As this is what I need, new shores, new goals, something so simple

Yes,

A change.

JJB

Excuse me dear for acting queer
It was a fate I was triumphantly born with
Through shadows and lies I prefer his thighs
To those my mother bore birth did give
Some stubble
Man trouble
A daily not monthly cause of my mood
Rainbows shining
My love is not hiding
The chemists for Veet to rub me down smooth
I can still rub shoulders with the best of men
Down my local where they suspect I change gone ten
But I do love a cocktail after a few cheeky beers
It's just the way I am ***, all this, hiden show
Go let it out!

Acting Queer

JJB

Certain things stir the soul
Some are good and some take their toll
A penchant for coffee just to wake you up
One will do and then its onto endless cups
You only watch one episode as its all on Netflix
Then it rolls into the next just to get your fix
It becomes a drug, not doing what is best
Just drag yourself away as it becomes a test
The human heart just wants what is more
Until it gets its need,
It strikes
It shoots
It scores

Addicted

JJB

You laughed
You really did laugh
At a joke so morbid yet clear
Seen as a sin
Now straight in the bin
To chuckle at something so near
I'm hurt
Were hurt
A group so new and always it seems in fear
Offended
Say it again, now reoffended
by a story so funny it used to bring a tear
For humour is old
To be told is now bold
That now lurks in us all as a ghost,

For it is,

A Death Less Funny Than Most

JJB

If I could take the parts, you know,
the bits that don't really matter
one by one,
moment by moment,
and push them off a cliff to a place that collects such worthless clutter

The mistakes I have made,
the thoughts that shouldn't follow on through but do
those past revelations, such stories of wondrous lies and the times I should just have just poopooed

We live a life that is never in the here and the now
The mundane taking over, every work hour a taste so sour
To look and to basically be your best,
those wrinkles showing old age,
an advert on your brow

We'd like to shove all these inacuracies and self loathing on a one way trip to hell
but its a part of the human being that grounds us all, a one time life in this corruptible shell

So to take away those parts that make us so inaccurate
would be a boring life with no ups or downs as we all like a few quid on an unsafe bet
those niggles, such talk that is utter drivel,
all to be placed in a room with a designated shelf

Not a chance, its a part of our lives,
for who would ever want to have,

A Divorce From One's Self

JJB

Wake up and don't look back
Let's get this ship back on track
You took the wind out of my sails but for me I will prevail
As this blip is never going to hurt me

I said some stupid things and from now I will carry on trying
For it was all in the past and the future looks good, steered away from your vows and your lying
The oddity and your empathy will linger in my brain
But my eyes have seen some sorry things and from here I will refrain

Telling me of your past and a load of it pure trouble
Most of it just made up like a sketch with Fred and Barney Rubble
So don't whisper sweet nothings in my ear finished off with a loving kiss
As the meaning was there but never been bolstered, as those lies were nothing but,

A False Promise

JJB

Life
Where do we start
From the days of a baby to the finals in some nursery
Everyday we have a plan
We don't execute these fantasy's but they are real
In your head, we married, we fought, we were the deal
Reality is a different beast though, that is for us all
What I'll be will not shock the world, as I will no doubt fall
We have plans, massive plans, as your parents did not make it
Watch me rise, watch me flourish, into a being that does not sit
I will show you how it is done, the route and the wisdom
The weak will fall, I strive on, a tidal wave under Earths sun
Crushing the likes that put us all down
Get out of my way, you retched little man,
This is me, the second coming never wearing that frown
Walking this Earth like I rule its surface
Soon to disappear, a legend for thousands of years
I disappear without trace as I am,

All God's Plan

JJB

Stood alone in a field of ever change
The others seem to catch on and evolve
But to me I'm happy staying put, stuck in my ways, a little strange
Liking a risqué joke, a mild poke, a barrel now sadly broke
Words we now cannot use
But arise in slapstick, a rarely lit fuse, mosty after a wee drop of *****
Kids now think we are all the same skin
As if nothing happened in 10,000 years and its all thrown in the bin
And if you disagree, have a voice, have a choice, you now live in sin
For being told how to live is an everyday occurance
Speed limits, different cynics, all told to coinline with this BBC
For our thoughts are now banished, no longer to be free
And sadly, people are beginning not to see
That you do actually stand alone in life, leaning into the breeze
For we all are really,
just,

A Lone Tree

JJB

If you are not like me then you will never probably see
The million thoughts I dream of being everyday
A sailor, a wrestler, but never a candlestick maker (ambition people, come on!)

We all think outside the box but end up never breaking out
Tesco’s, stuck on the till, idealist conceptions up on a hill but sat here earning nowt

Its human instinct to better yourself
Flunked GCSE’s, a mortgage to pay but still dreaming of better days

Am I the only one who thinks like this
I work to live, not live to work, the optimist in me always wanting his bliss

Life begins to **** this wanting of a concept
Sorry lads, the time is now, be like them and live with the debts

It’s what you do that counts, that journey from start to finish
Live like a king or slide away and diminish,

A million thoughts

JJB

Same waking up time
Same journey to work
Same conversations
Same deadlines
Same holidays
Same meals every week
And repeat

(Wake me up when the difference takes place)

JJB

That darkness, that coldness in the air
Today has been a bad day for us all
Never prepared for such shock all at once
A man so loved now gone without despair
The suddeness, so quick before our plans
His ideas a bloom and so plentiful
Taken in seconds from such a blow
He wandered, he thought, he drew
No replacing his thoughts played out in Manga, sometimes Disney too
For he was a closed book with thoughts of his own
A testament to nobody but a world now never shown,

as are

Angry Skies Above

JJB

Bland
Like a plate of frozen peas for dinner
Work
Everyday until you die just trying to be above that person next to you
Holidays
Every year to that same villa in Spain
Car
Volvo
Good brakes
Safety No.1
I sigh in boredom of it all
The sight in which we see life is a contrast between us all
And that channel of tuning just isn't for me
Say the odd stupid thing and regret it for days or years
Date that person who scares you blind and brings you to tears
Make the decision that is stupid and plainly wrong
But that's how I roll man, to a different song
I've been a prat at the best of times but that's what makes it fun
Soaking up the rays with no cream in the summer sun
Always a risk taker living life on the edge  
Hey, that's the way I live, a self committed pledge
People look at me and wonder why,
I look back and tell them well at least I tried
As this is a life to live so spread your wings and not sit in the tree
Sometimes we have to make mistakes to prove whats right, hence
The world will always need,

An Idiot Like Me

JJB

Run!
Run!
Just keep running!
That's it!
Oh wait, what's that?
Stop
Sniff something I'm convinced might be interesting
Its not
I hear you
I hear my name (..........)
Again (..........)
Still not sure,
Got to keep running
Run!
Run!
Run!

JJB

We are all different
But some are more different others.
The Asian lady who cant't stop drinking her tea
The perverted Iranian who has not one wife, not two but three
The strange fella who makes noise as he walks
Probably harmless but must have a woman that he stalks
The bodybuilder who talks to no-one unless in trouble
Trying to grow a goatee but looks like daft stubble
Always the computer buff who knows how to hide his secret sites
If we knew how to access his stuff he'd soon enough take flight
The chubby man who's wife we believe is Thai
Most British girls just turned him away, well at least he tried
Then there's the cheeky sod who says he's wheelchair bound
Comes out with some screamers but no one utters a sound
And how could I forget the older lady who's divorced three times
You didn't know that? Oh you'll find out down the line
And then there is me who I think to be plain and normal
But God only knows what they say about me, nice and informal?
Not from this lot

An Office Full of Weirdos

JJB

It's mediums cover an untethered mass of production
And yes, it usually just comes from a bit of fun
Kids in the class to a scratch in the sand
From learning the recorder onto a rock and roll band
See it as tosh, well class it as you will
Marvel at its psychedelia whilst swallowing the bitterest pill
A bedroom left in ruin from a woman, hardly feminine
I forget her name, oh there we go, nice work Tracey Emin
Rose tainted spectacles for the ones we love and desire
In reality, probably better off in the fire
But don't knock it until you have tried it as you have no right to really speak,
An artists soul can encapsulate a moment even it is dreary and bleak
Pick up that pen sat by your side and have a squiggle,
Look at things, objects, people, best place? Probably Lidl
The odder the human the better the detail to find and pick
Start to build a portfolio, everything has to start brick by brick
As,

Anything You Invent is Art

JJB

Streets now empty,
Not a soul to be seen
It's like I've woken up in a B-movie,
Or a very eerie dream

Best to stand apart now,
We've been given a 2 metre stance
I would love to give you all a hug
But I'd better not take that chance

Let's hope that it's all over,
Please let that time be soon
And hope this can't happen again,
Be it once in a blue moon

Locked in the same surroundings,
This will surely cause some rows
But look on the bright side of this mess,
We'll get through this apocalypse now

JJB

You lived it large, out all the time, the way it should be
Thursdays, student night
Fridays, pub by 5 pm, staggered in at 5 am
Saturdays, still hanging but forced by your friends
Sunday, a day of rest, your mums lunch and on the mend

Late twenties and its catching up with you
Thursdays, thinking about Friday
Friday, quick pint after work and home
Saturdays, a day shopping for that new phone
Sundays, a game on the box now lowering the tone

Scratching around into the tail end of your thirties
Thursday, not even thirsty
Fridays, project to finish now at work
Saturdays, the kids look at you with that naughty smirk
Sundays, ah Sundays, now already thinking of Monday

It catches up on you when you don't even see it
Time, age, this uncontrollable stage, already written by the poets
Live it while you can because it soon catches up
Be that kid, own that night, strut that stuff
Because its something you will not see coming,

A Poem to a Younger Me

JJB

If coffee is your pick me up
Some toast, brush your teeth and then a sup
of course, from your favourite cup
A little toing and throwing
Once that storms been brewing
Then stick the telly on for the daily stewing
JV with his band of ever ready journalists
Some too gobby, some too shy, the odd one taking the, ahem
All settled down by that voice from the Scottish mist
Men seem to sway to the sound of her calming charm
The women mainly agree after the wake up of their alarm
Still sat on the sofa in your quilt, just to keep warm
A pick me up for your everyday commit
Two hours of fun, frolics, politics and while you just sit
And think about how to keep going and just to keep fit

A Storm is Brewing

JJB

You take it for granted when it's stood right there
Playing with your kids without a single care
These moments they ground you in a time that's now past
Thinking these memories will always everlast
But where does it go in a life that's fast and always unread
Almost ten years ago as you think it through now lying in your bed
A jigsaw of pieces that somehow all interact
Now putting them together to make a perfect fact
Cast them in the river as they are all attached to the same line
As fishings not my thing, I'm just awash in one's own time

For a friend

JJB

Jump in your car, time for that journey
Great for a while until that thing that bothers me
There she is stood, waiting for her lift
You can’t get to work, I’ll be your daily gift

What have I let myself in for
Fancied her at first but this is now a chore
Always second guessing whatever I may do
A mistake I have made and now hard to undo

I turn left she says it’s on the right
Lips curls in anger, carry on, its not worth the fight
His name is Mark, I’ve known him for years
It’s spelt with a C, his parents were different, their philosophy, now I’m in tears  

Well what do I know, wrong in every decision
I saw us together for years to come, now it’s a different vision
Radios on the station which to her is obviously wrong
Not that band, their music is rank, put on a different song

The saying is so true about judging a book by its cover
A face so pretty, hiding such secrets, I’d rather be her enemy than her lover
Best get on that phone and start the search for another job
I can’t bear this anymore, time for her to leech onto some other poor sod

Let me drive my life in my direction without this pretty preacher
Because God knows you don’t need a back-seat driver

JJB

Let me tell you now, I’ve never picked up a bass guitar in my life
the guy stood stage side, cool as hell, his looks as sharp as a knife
surveying the crowd, picking the best, which girl is coming back to his room
town to town, gig to gig, thanks for the ride, I won’t be back anytime soon

An aura of disdain, a secret never to be told under that cowboy hat of his
reeling through the catalogue, hit after hit, hiding has no place in showbiz
A breed to contend, so lets never offend that man who has a different point of view
we could all have been a plumber or a copper, but the line-up for this role is a very short queue

Comparisons are strange and never the same, from deep sea diver to football goalkeeper
hey, a job’s a job no matter what you do, even home brewer to a honey making beekeeper
So what if you’re an oddball, the world needs its variety
from 6 strings to 4, its hardly a chore, he gave up on the piano and its keys
because that’s the way it is and the life I now live
simple, sometimes exuberant but always content,

That’s it,

Bass player me

JJB

Will that day come
The one that changes everything
From being broke to the love of the land
Married my sweetheart
Now every stranger wants my hand
Would I leave my friends I have known for so long
Who helped me through all troubled times
To be the man they all now love just living out in Tuscon, Arizona
If those 6 numbers rolled in tonight, I'd have to make decisions
The only way I'd make that money would be with a gun,
HOLD UP! HANDS UP!
Right, thats me off to prison
But if those ***** did land in line
I'd be one happy chap
Smiling as those bells did chime
Thinking what I would buy next
That house, that car, dinner served by my own private chef
I'll watch them spin again tonight
All rolling with bated breath

JJB

I remember nothing, that night I had my crash
7 cracked ribs, 1 punctured lung, the other collapsed, my spine taking the ultimate bash
9 months inside, those doctors saving my life, where would I be without the NHS
27 years old, life just at its beginning, those days gone would now be your best

Waking up I looked at my mum and then looked at my dad, tracheostomy stopping me from talking
6 weeks induced coma, crazy dreams I couldn’t tell you, girlfriend now presumably walking
Knowing before told, who is going to be so bold, to tell me the news I knew but still did dread
Dad by my side, a finalisation they could not hide, it’s unlikely you will ever walk again

This I knew but dare not say, family and friends suffering in the know
A wheelchair for life, not me, its not right, too young for this to swallow
Moved to a place where spinal injuries were rife
Stanmore National Orthopaedic Hospital. an institution where you start to see the light

Moved from ward to ward, progress slow but on the mend
contemplating so many situations and a world I did not understand
faces and places now all the same still lying on my back
I want to sit up, be normal again and get this soul back on track

Taught about so much that I really did not know
your biggest priority now was your skin, pressure sores a definite no-no
learning to go to the toilet in a completely different way
catheters and a tube of ****, a perverted dream for some that even pay

The outside world a playground not built for the likes of those in a wheelchair
a trip into town, get used to the tube, disabled design back in the day not really a care
getting into a car, an ease all my life, now governed by the height of the roof
legs under a table, as some now unable, the world now a minefield is the honest truth

I met some characters in that place, men and women with stories to make your mouth drop
some on drugs, some back from the war, one woken from a spinal stroke, wow what a crop
I met certain nurses, most of whom were fabulous and are still now friends
then there were a certain few, riled and crass and basically, a pain in the ***

And this is where life starts all over again
getting used to the looks, sympathetic and loving, life now on a new trend
from being stuck in that ward where a suppository is now needed for my ***
you’ll know where I am, end of the corridor, bay 3 bed 1

JJB

The love of difference is our strange attraction
I blew at maths and copied your fractions
Not caring if you are black, white, green or yellow
I rocked on guitar whilst you plucked that cello
With instruments like that we'd never start a band
Just laugh at our disparity whilst walking hand in hand
The cool kids loved you as I was just a mess
But you loved the way I sauntered, not trying to impress
Hey, why try and improve on whats never likely
Just hold stance, slip her the key, to the backdoor of what may be
Nobody said a word as they shared ice cream on the pier
Eastbourne had its gossips and those you regulary sneer
For she didnt drive and took the bus afar
As I souped up my Cosworth to be the fastest by far
Not a pill in sight as she didnt touch the stuff
Me overdosing on the A's and the B's then feeling kinda rough
Stroking her persian in her minimilist one bedroom flat
I fill mine with hoardings not room to swing her cat
But she laughs at what a state I can sometimes be in
For she is a keeper, a forgiver, overlooking my daily daft sins

Beautiful Differences

JJB

An animal that we learnt to trust
Its cunning, its planning, a must
A lot of mammals are not a fan
But look at the potential after building that dam
The river now flows to a part of ruin
Let's celebrate this genius on the wood that they've been chewing
To build a habitat for this beast of some distinction
Who has made life for others without bragging on completion
Oh, and its also what men call their wife's nunny
Strange how words switch to mean something funny!

******

JJB

I've become so stressed
Every little thing,
from what dress to a salad with cress?
I have forgotton what makes me even tick
What makes me smile,
from words on the crossword to my morning sick
And from my tick onto my tock
What still fits ,
What do I wear from my joggers to a frock
To calculate my brain from maths to a sudoku sum,
these used to be so easy
Jeez, what have I become?
My legs just keep kicking and are now so restless
A kick now inside out,
this babys just wants h** final exit
Still months to go but getting all so bigger
Every day some more weight on,
I cannot wait for its final ****** trigger!

JJB

Work toilet
Just staring at yourself in the mirror
I hate it here
What's beyond all this
Behind this wall
A man stands tall
An alternative phase on your future
I only came here for a ten minute break
I'm fake
Any excuse I'll take
To dream of another place than here

JJB

A blink of an eye
That's how quick life can change
From free and easy
To medication, an uncontrollable bladder and to feeling almost queasy
A spinal trauma that went from tap onto snap
Laughing inside that thank God you're not like that
Now join the band where the view is now half the horizon
From standing up to sitting down with your legs permanently frozen
But these things happen although surely not to you
I used to enjoy my half an hour in the toilet, reading the paper and doing a poo
Now the procedure, the timings, the suppositories waiting to melt
Gloving up that hand and finger until it's time to smell that smell
Hey, thats now what I call life
It's a trauma, it's a story on an everyday basis
But would I change it back for the normal life?
Hell yeah, it's those long paper read poo's that I really miss!

JJB

Restraints, complaints, lifes been on the taint
Thrown us into a world we'd all never known
Lockdowns and get downs but not to no jazzy funk
A life we've all unwantingly been thrown
Whats right
Whats wrong
We didnt think it would last this long
Still covering our face from the deadliest of bugs
The nay sayers
The everyday prayers
The fools on life support who just didnt care
Anxiety attacks
The toughest of men who normally have your back
Just break down when their world immedietely turns black
There is a light though in from this 2020 tunnel
As we grab it to the ground and hit back with a pummel
Suffocate it in a headlock and **** it as it stumbles
For we are better than some poxy Chinese manmade curse
We'll watch it die and lend it no nurse
As we are stronger than this and not here just as a rehearse.

Better Than This.

JJB

It's a different way of life being big
I don't mean eating until I want to be sick
I mean my height, my clothes, still as tall as you when I sit
Not being able to buy the shirt I want because they all say Slim-fit

That pair of jeans I want but not your off the shelf clobber
My wife looks high and low bless her, as nothing will stop her
A pair of shoes to fit in with the latest fashions
No size 13 sir, you'll have to look online, that's where they usually stash them

I fly to America where they know how to treat me right
Trying on a Medium shirt, hell, its not even very tight
The only thing is their taste in shoes here
I'll order online as I wash it down with a beer

Even getting in a car can be a pain with a certain model
Head space, leg room, come on Mini, us lads want this at a doddle
And what is it the smaller woman that finds you such a pull
Hell, I'm not complaining, look after me and wrap me in wool

For I'm not violent in any which way at all
But get a man who thinks he's big and you'll get it with a bar room stool
Little man syndrome is our worst curse of them all
There is always one you thinks he's hard so has to act like the fool

But I like being a big bloke as you gain a respect for no reason at all
Some look up to you because your big and rather tall
But at the end of the day were just the same as me and you
Finding it hard in everyday life, and a love that is oh so true

JJB

We all know him, that bloke down the pub
done everything before you but always wants a sub
thinks he knows his football as was at the final back in 81
Ricky Villa scored that goal, 3 touches on the spin, just for a bit of fun

He’s been to every destination that you can only dream
survived gunshot wounds, not a bother, he even ruptured his spleen
pulled a couple of Page 3 girls at the back of Stringfellows club
before it was a crime in the daily rag for these models to pose in the nud

He’s worked all the jobs that you could list on one arm
been married, twice divorced, it’s hard to live life with these bragging charms
Tattoos of past grievances, some he would rather forget
ex-wife’s down to girlfriends, all for a stupid bet

Now the end of the bar is a space well occupied by him
dole money and on the ponse, breaking all of Gods deadly sins
avoid at your peril these creatures of sponge and leech
just wanting a life of ease and comfort, for some, humanity we cannot teach

Lend them nothing and discredit their tales from a life now well past
all lies of inscrutability, from a net well and truly cast
for this is a story told from a man whose race has already been run
as he is that man we all need to avoid
for he is
blagger
number
one

JJB

When did we lose it
That pow
That zip
That zap
That day mid-thirties you look in the mirror
And you've become a little bit fat
That get up-and-go
Now you've become slow
Watching life mould and your toenails grow
Your friends become distant
As you wonder of their existance
Followed on Facebook for their stories of fiction
It really is sad
Was our friendship just a fad
As we drift into the old and once had
Does life become a trot
Knowing the cold from the hot
And where in life is our best spot
Or is it a a case of embrassing lifes span
You done your best and all that you can
It's not me man
You just became all boring, man

JJB

We all breathe
Yet sometimes heave
Let out a sigh
Followed with a cry
It makes us live from lungs to bellows
How God made man from the dice that he throws
Instinct with nature,
Something that we never have to remember

And,

Breathe

JJB

Bridges are a rule of life
As we cross one everyday
Most of them are invisible
Some subtle
But stepped over without having to pay
They link us
They heard us
Moving us all in different ways
Then some are left broken
A day we left unspoken
Kindred in leaving it at bay
Some still have a troll sat waiting to pounce
A discrepancy
Some monstrosity
That carries a debt weighing more than an ounce
Yet most have a stream that gently runs beneath
No burden
No guilt
Just a subtle flow, falling like a browned autumn leaf 🍂

JJB

When your heart is black and broken
And its weeks since we have spoken
I'm hoping it's not been sixteen years wasted in time
When there have been others waiting in line
For love is a one off thing
Not bound by words and a settlement ring
But by hope and a life we could be doing
Instead sat at the window,wondering,with a piece of gum
Just endlessly chewing

JJB