Sometimes you cross my mind
And I feel myself release a smile
I get butterflies in my belly
I recall the time when you loved me

Sometimes I think of you
And the naughty things we used to do
I can feel myself tense up
From pondering on your love

Sometimes I reminisce
About your touch and tender kiss
And I must admit
There are times that I miss
You...

I loved and I cared
You gave me grief and despair
I moved on with flair

I craved all of you
But only received a piece
Which is not enough

Like many other women in the world
At some point in my life
A man I loved turned me into a heart broken girl
I went through a phase where I hated men
I didn't want to be bothered with any of them
Didn't even want one as a platonic friend
As time healed my wounds
I began to learn to love again

But this time I learned to love myself first
I stopped wasting my time on random men
And giving in to the thirst
Of men who only came around
Because they wanted to make me burst

I rose my standards when dealing with men
However, I find myself spending more time alone
And that's fine with me because I'd rather be left alone
Than wasting my time on a man that's entirely wrong for me
And that decision wasn't easy
Because I thoroughly enjoy a man's company

I don't want just any man in my life
I want the man who will indeed be
The perfect guy for me
So I'll continue to wait patiently
And in the meantime I'll continue to work on myself
So when he does come I'll be ready

It's easy to see
That I'm a woman
But what you can't see
Is that it won't come easy
For any man learning to keep me pleased

And not because I'll intentionally
Give you a hard time
It's because most men aren't patient enough
To try and understand a woman's mind

Instead of trying to rush and get into my *******
You should take the time to dissect my personality
Take the time to see
If I'm even worth getting to know sexually
Allow yourself to learn if I can stimulate you mentally
And maybe if you take your time you could **** out
If you think I'd be crazy

That will be the label that I receive
Once you see
That I'm like every other woman which is simply
Emotional
I don't understand why men deem this a flaw
Because that's what God intended for women to be

So here's the deal
I'm going to keep it all the way real
And let you know how I feel
Before you try to get into my bed
First, get inside of my head
And really consider if I'm even worth it

There are a lot of things I'm uncertain of
And I never pretend to know
There are a lot of things that I'm scared of
But I never allow my fear to show

There are times when I want to break down
But who's going to lift me up?
There are times I want to confide in someone
But who is there to trust?

There are times when I want to love
However, I have no one to give my heart to
There are times I don't mind sharing my space
But I rarely follow through

There are times I'm confident in myself
There are times I'm insecure
I have times when I'm content with my life
But most of the time I'm craving for more

Right now I'm feeling that it's time I set all of my fears free
Right now I feel that it's time I truly embrace my destiny
It's time I leave my past behind and go after that more
It's time that I embrace my future, it's time that I explore

Mixed emotions
Unclear notions
I'm in roller coaster mode
Do I hold on?
Or do I simply just let go?
Honestly, I don't know
I'm not 100% sure of who I am
I'm growing, still learning
And constantly yearning
For a deeper understanding
Of this womanhood business
It's a very complicated existence
For instance

Society describes what a woman should be
So faintly
All of the descriptions I hear are nothing at all like me
And since I don't quite understand what I should be
When I make mistakes on my womanhood journey
Society ridicules me
But why? I don't know what I'm doing
And since I don't, shouldn't someone show me?

How should I conduct myself?
Why hasn't anyone prepared me for this womanhood test?
Society shouldn't just expect
That I should already know how to be
Independent, submissive, loyal, loving and trustworthy
Especially if no one took the time out to show me
I only had society to mold me
And clearly
Society doesn't know what a real woman should be
I couldn't learn how from TV
Those people, those images are nothing but deceit

So what's a girl to believe?
Oh, society you don't know either?
Fine, well when you find out
Maybe you should teach me

Love
You disappoint me
Time and time again
You hurt my feelings
Repeatedly, constantly
You leave me feeling
Defeated

Love
No matter what you do to me
I always take you back
And I do it with so much ease
Although you continue to reject me
I keep letting you come back
With high hopes that this time you won't leave

But you do
****, you always do....

Confident enough
To strut my stuff
Shallow enough
To be choosey with love
Sassy enough
Not to give a ****
Unique enough
To know I'm a sign of good luck

Weak enough
To be naive
Scared enough
To think that all men leave
Bitter enough
To only give out pieces of me
Guarded enough
To display my heart on my sleeve

Bold enough
To try and love again
Smart enough
To only try to love a loyal man
Brave enough
To put my heart in another's hand
Wise enough
To know I'll be just fine if it all ends

There are many dimensions of my complex personality
Some deem it a flaw, I think it makes me unique
Therefore it's not just one certain thing
That keeps men I've crossed paths with
Coming back to me

It's my intricate mind
That have men spending their valuable time
Disecting and learning
And constantly yearning
Exactly who I be

It's the joy in my voice
That leaves men no absolute choice
To continue to dial my number
Leaving them to wonder
Exactly who I am

It's the genuine feeling that they receive
Every single time that they lock eyes with me
It's the hint of my sensuality
My mysterious smile
That reveals that this good girl can definitely be wild
Yes, they all want to know who is she?

Since I am so complex
And at times more of a challenge then the next
It seems that men are more drawn to me
They want to have an exciting journey
They want to see
If they can indeed compete
They want to know exactly
What it is about little ol' me
That keeps them intrigued
Any time that we meet
But most men are so shallow
So for them I'm just too deep

So they wound up drowning
And I in return save them
Once they get their breathing back on track
And know for a fact
They're still alive
They strive to get to me
Because they still want to see
Exactly what is was about me
That had them so intrigued
So they all eventually
Drift back to me

I'm constantly fighting with my flesh
I'm trying to listen to my spirit since it knows what's best
Now, my spirit is very strong
And it's been trying to hold on
But my body is getting the best of me
Honestly
It scares me
That I so easily
Give in
To my ****** feelings that brings on sin

Only my God knows
The torture I feel in my soul
The battle, my struggle I have with my flesh
The battle I have with letting go
Of my ****** desires I have deep within
I try to fight the urge
But my flesh seems to always win
It's a guilty fact
And I hate that
I haven't quiet mastered abstaining just yet

My flesh constantly yearns for that familiar touch
The one that my body craves for so much
The one that I overindulge in
The one that I can never ever get enough of
Why does it have to be so hard to find love
Without feeling the need to be sensually touched?

My flesh is nothing but trouble
Trouble that I allow myself to create
A feeling that feels oh so good
A feeling that I just can't escape
And I'm trying, Lord knows I'm trying
I really want to get away from this feeling
But I honestly think it's too late

Sometimes I want to be held
Or want a listening ear
At times I want companionship
But my wants are blocked by fear
I fear being left
I fear not being heard
I fear meeting someone who will not keep their word

Sometimes I want to be bound
Other times I want to be free
Some nights I want someone to stay
Other nights I want them to leave
There are days I want someone special around
There are plenty of days when I just don't care
At the end of the day
I need reassurance that when I need that special someone they'll be there


Some days I can be extremely difficult
Other days I'm rather simple
Some days I'll require a lot from my man
But many days I'll only require little

I have to be real and admit
I don't really think that I'm fully equipped
For a monogomous relationship
But I'm willing to try
To think of this relationship thing with the right guy
If only he can promise not to make tears fall from my eyes

Yes, I have a brick wall up
And I surely am afraid of love
This is definitely true
I want to remove my guard
But I'm not sure if that's what I'm ready to do

Will I love?
Or will I hide from it?
I honesetly don't know what I'll choose
I guess until I figure it out
I'll continue to sing my single woman's blues

You're my weakness
And that's not good
I know right from wrong but I conveniently forget
And do things I know I should
I mean shouldn't
**** it what have you done to me?
You've got a hold on my heart
And the bad part is I don't want to be released
Instead I want you to completely
Become immersed in the very essence of me
I want you to massage my mind
With words that make me feel as sweet as white wine
I want you to use my body as an easel and create
A romantic painting that will never be erased
Because it will be embodied in me
Way past skin deep
My soul, I want you to touch
With a sprinkle of ecstasy and a dash of love
I want you to become my strength
My ambition, my determination and my confidence
I want you to be
My one and only
My everything
But since you're taken
That clearly won't happen
So, maybe next lifetime?