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 Jun 2015 Jesibell arz
Jake Danby
Do you accept the terms and conditions?
Clicked so unwittingly,
Private information sold to the highest bidder,
Read the small print and it's plain to see.

Nothing is yours any-longer,
They know you better than yourself,
Corporations and governments unite,
They sell your data with the upmost stealth.

The all seeing eye is upon us,
And its glare seeks to remand,
We unknowingly sign away our lives,
It's a sphere of oppression, an arm, a hand.

The people must fight this tyranny,
We can't roll over and play dead,
We are more than a wire to be tapped,
Oppose the militant laws that seek to deflate us with dread.

Don't find trust in empty promises,
Manifesto's weighing heavy with slander and lies,
Find trust in the people,
Our independence must never die.

Do you accept the terms and conditions?
We must stand against the corrupt,
Despotism enveloped by mock democracy,
The free public must erupt.
Inspiration came from a massively eye-opening documentary on the connections between massive corporations, privvy to all our private data, and the governments of the world. It is unacceptable
 Jun 2015 Jesibell arz
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birds are chirping. this is familiar. you can do familiar. "it's a mess" I say. quickly you reply "it's not a mess, it's pieces of your life." my life's pieces; not mine. It's taken shape as hundreds of tiny copies from the same **** story. you're fragile. you're the yellow copy of a receipt. stupid little paper girl.

this is going to be terrible and that's going to have to be okay because death is open to interpretation now.

there is something to be said about lying under every window sill in the house just to follow the sunlight and pretend it hasn't been dark since you left.

you look back in five years and realize that "you" in every poem has become yourself. everybody grew up and moved out of the sadness except for you.

dress up as yourself when you loved someone and stare in the mirror until it cracks. you never thought you'd be leaving the lights on waiting for yourself to come home. you'll never understand and that's the whole point.

always leaving never really arriving. you can stay only long enough for them to know who you are. nothing can remain the same because that's not real, is it? they say nothing lasts forever. let's be nothing. stop existing. we'll be timeless.
 Jun 2015 Jesibell arz
gee
sometimes
beside you
when i should be sleeping
i put my ear to your mouth
and i can hear
the rhythm of your breathing
like waves that roar
inside a seashell
it keeps me awake
when all else is quiet
and i forget
about all the loves
and unloves
all the smudges i tried
to unsmudge
all the things before you
and sometimes
beside you
when i should be sleeping
i imagine myself
to be so much more than i am
i imagine myself
inside a seashell
i imagine myself
as a wave
published here: http://www.thistlemagazine.com/
she's a bag full of twigs,
a bag full of bones and liquor
her stomach always caves in
and she walks with the weight of a gun
to her chest,
she drinks with a smile and smokes
while she thinks,
he doesn't know if there's anything
more perfect than her smooth porcelain skin
and they never thought she'd be the one
holding a gun six feet underground
but life can be hard and it's tough to just get by
and he never thought she'd leave him that
night but now she rests in the dark  
underneath the garden where they had their first kiss
he lives his life on blank canvases and dreams
of the girl who taught him how to breathe and not
a day goes by he doesn't think of her because
she's everywhere; she's that song on the radio, she's
the band on his walls, she's that picture in the hallway
she's his fear of the dark and he tries to paint her but he
can never get it right, because the girl that he loves he
never really knew and when he steps on the cracks in
the street he remembers her,
he always remembers her
remember me
because i'm a bag full of twigs,
a bag full of bones
filled with a smile of explosives
and a stomach that always caves in
i smile when i drink,
i smoke when i think
and every time i try to breathe it feels
like a gun to my chest and time is my trigger
most times it feels like i'm walking on a
rope above the water
and i can only last so long before i sink and fall

(h.l.)
i really like this actually, i'm glad how it came along
Searching for peace
Amsterdam in 1998
Not all of 'i' returned in 99
But i was confusing
Happiness with contentment
Still searched, relentless
Even after the implosions
Decided to give myself
To the highest feelings
(when I still had feelings)
To join it, not become it
You seem to search
For my stupid opinions
Now, listen
I breathe out
Now, i can
'paranoidly'
Recognise some of your
Patterns, are you trying
To force me to reject
And fight you?
You had everything
You needed beforehand
And you abused the hand
You fed from
I want to forgive
I want to forget
(more than I already do)
The struggle
Would be good for me
I know that.
I know that
You should never allow
That
(paranoid again, sorry)
I want my arms
To encircle and crush
My current existence
But currents and vibes
Are all your creation
And my inflection.
I really dont think
I need your arms anymore
(sure, it would be nicer, maybe easier)
But if you knew me before
Why are you surprised?
I knew kids could be cruel
Tougher lesson is
Knowing adults never grow anywhere
And have more tools of manipulation
Than an innocent at the point of
Creation.
Just a recent paranoid drunken rant I recorded on my phone - I still blame the rest of the (outside of my head) world for my problems when i know I need to accept my situation and not try to assign blame for anything (been doing this in my head for the last 15-16 years - and still reached no conclusions that are satisfactory) - but the best things in life are hardly ever easy and the other voice is always there (but less with meds) - just it is always easier to blame others I guess - also I need to talk to a counsellor but I cant trust humanity at any level outside of temporal situational trust with current friends and when I am alone all that trust dissolves in quicker moments than it takes to remind myself to recreate it the next time I am around them.
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