sometimes my life feels like chaos I can't feel my body I can't hear my own thoughts and I come back to myself in horror because I've lost it all
life works slowly everything feels like a puzzle being put together I'm beginning to feel more complete I'm beginning to see myself clearer seeing myself as a work of art a human being not a human doing
clarity comes to me like a gust of wind rushing through my hair
like being in the ocean and swimming towards the sky my lungs have hurt from holding my breath for so long but I see the light through the surface of the water and you can bet your *** that when I reach the top I'll take the grandest gasp of air anyone has ever taken in and it will be beautiful I'll laugh like a child I'll laugh beautiful exhaustion I'll laugh because I will feel I'll laugh because I will feel so alive I'll laugh because I'm glad I am
Emptiness is like a shadow that you never really can get rid of you can try and fill the void but filling it won't erase it feeling it just distracts it you try to think that things are good and finally going fine but there's still this kind of void inside you that you can't erase because it feels like it's written in permanent marker
Happy that's what I told my therapist I wanted to be Happiness was my goal I used to think it was unfair how everyone seemed happy everyone except for myself at one point I thought I was happy but I wasn't in fact I was never happy it was all masked with endless money until it was gone A year later I made no progress and no matter how hard I tried I still wasn't happy because my thoughts were consumed of horrid things and in that moment I realize there was no turning back because I was a sad girl
I'm lost Every now and then I'll try to convince myself that I'll eventually be okay But then the next day my thought change and then I'm back to square one