The man you thought you would marry,
the man you'd have two kids and a house with?

He's no longer that man,
and the dream is no longer possible.

You have to leave it behind now...
                  build another one,
                            on your own,
                                       without him in the picture.

I could smell your scent that lingered from within as I hugged my pillow and walked through my altered reality -- so habit-forming yet suffocating.

I should have known ahead of time so I could have avoided it in less than time but it was too late and I was at fault. I don't spite you for possessing such addictive aroma, I spite myself for betraying itself -- falling for such debacle trap.

Now, I am at peace in my stream of thoughts and images as ideal universe where no one could tell on when shall I be going back to what-so-called "reality" in norms.

to my darling who feels she's not:
our separation is mere illusion.
truly, your pain strikes me as i write this;
your sensations of abandonment,
and the decisiveness they have caused,
bleed from my skin into the fibers of my clothes.
i am no longer clean.
i do not feel pure.

to my severed arm and shortened tendons:
destruction is merely another side of life.
out of disappearance comes all things-
without space, there would be nothing to contain us,
nothing to allow and enfold our beings' spirits,
and they would sputter and cease like my love's flame.
i am no longer yours.
i do not feel full.

to the farthest star that my eyes can see:
your light reaches me- i glimpse you!
in the perceived emptiness between us
there is no distance to be found;
around us exists the infinite potential for
further connection and deeper growth in closeness.
i am no longer alone.
i do not feel sorrow.