Mind beaten black and blue
I should've told on you
But, I couldn't.

Heart of Gold,
your precious
Heart of Gold.
I've started to see it mould, and
Shrivel.

So, I cannot stay,
another day, another day
So, I have to go, before
you lose control, you lose control.

You gave me love
Then you took it away
You stole my love
I needed you to stay.

I never let others hear
The way the toys seemed to scream
I never let mother know
Things weren't quite as they seemed.
Didn't bear to see you go
So, instead, I lived in a dream.
Sleep paralysis stitching up,
stitching up my mouth,
and my seams.

But, I let it be.

Will always miss the way you hurt me
To let off steam.

So, if I had a daughter,
Would she love you like I did?
If I had a daughter
Would it cut her like a shiv?
That's what it felt like.

So if I had a daughter,
Would she love you like we did?
Like mother, like daughter,
The fear, curled up, and hidden.
That's what it feels like.

That's what it'll always feel like.

~

here our gathered shadows,
in this hallowed place,
'neath its high hewn beams,
within its vacuous space;
to these storied walls,
we add our sighs of suffering;
to these earthly halls
for you in love we bring
our ties of heart and this,
for you a proxied offering,
for you a plea for peace,
on your behalf entreat,
a prayer for hope, for rest.
as earthly labors cease,
as in the distance,
earthly mem’ry fades,
may all its toil,
its daily rage,
dispelled as vapor be,
and in its place
may love remain,
as you ever rest in peace.

~

*post script.

for those lost from these halls,
taken from us ’fore their time
for Ernest, the Seeker, the Dreamer!