Hello

Sorry for this mess
Shuffled papers turn into seas
Useless ideas and missed apologies
Spread like sour butter
Upon this sea of papers
My madness has grown from the seeds
Scattered on this island,
Each seed is a singularity of our innocence

Watch your feet!
Don't walk in front of the light

These fly traps have not trapped
My ideas buzzing in my hand,
Glued to the pen
Not being able to let it go
Use these bottle of apologizes
As cursed hand writing
Drools across this tombstone
Of my darkest thoughts ,
Wishing them to be killed till dead
By the fan spinning on the ceiling
I'm scared of this burial ground
When I look away
I hear the roars of the song
Use to summon memories
Of sun dresses in the cold
Of my winter heart

Come closer
And come study
About this mess I've made

I wish I could write about this
Yet every sentence
Seems to be a run onn,
Intertwined with the lines
On the road that my mind is drawn to

My phone keeps buzzing
And my mind is shut off
5 missed calls
4 people saying
3 words,
Don't leave us.
The bass of my brash decision
Pushes on my leg,
Reminding me to stay in my lane.
2 times I tried to pull off these vines
That drag me to this train station
Of the dark side of my mind,

I get out of my car,
Hands sweating,
The air seems heavy
As I beckon to the ticket office

I say hi
Yet the ticket clerk looked low to the ground
As she shreds the ticket
From her defunct hair
Causing the gates to limbo adjacent from her open.
I take a deep breath
And I take
1 step forward

Sometimes I wish
This pant dries slower
Around this canvas
That curses my name,
Every drag of smoke
That reaches into my subconscious
Meets my hand
To pen
To ink
To this blank idea,
I guess this is all i got
I curse the lords name
Throwing the pen
Against this yellow wallpaper,

Depression is only called
To the ones who can see
The writing on the walls,
Left in blood red,
Words that make me a victim
Of labeling what it means
To be a victim.

This pen sounds like my mother,
White powder filled with innocent memories
Stick to the keys
She could always conduct
The simplest symphonies
The sting to her words
Wrap the vacuum cord around my neck.
Terrorist apart of the self doubt group called my insecurities
Swing at me like a pinata,
Crucified to my old drafts
Of this blank canvas,

I scream enough I say,
My words cast a light
Through the pen
Shattering this oddly warmer room
I pick up the pen
And write on this canvas

I search my scattered brain
To find the devil
That crawls inside of me,
Each time I see your eyes
This creature of my habits
Wraps itself around my eyes,
Laving me blinder than any of these three mice
That scavenge for food
In the humid swamps of self esteem.

I scare myself.
Why do i keeping seeing this walls
With thick black oils,
Making everything feel colder,
wrapping around my future,
I couldn't see through it
Until I forced my hand
And set my world on fire.

All of the ashes have been swept way
Leaving this frost around the amusement park
Of my sad sad heart
Wishing that the only smile
To shine through the crowds
Would not pass me by.

Yet the light draws itself away,
Leaving me with an empty view.
Watching life pass me by

The sun says its farewell
To the noisy skyline
As I see your eyes
With the moon,

**** her eyes.
All I can think of
As soft folk music
Covers the wall
With its most comfortable tone.

She asks me,
" What you want to do?"
I was forced
To look at my watch
To make sure your eyes
Didn't just stop time.

"Lets go to sleep."

As the lights
Drawl to a close
Around the house
And the sound
Of our breathing
Is the loudest kind of music
Being played.
My eyes quickly adjust.
And,
Well,
There you were,
And you were looking at me,
Like we had night vision
And could see all of our thoughts
Playing charades
In my irises.

"Good lord."

I mutter quietly,
You crank me open
With your eyes lighting up
To see the rest
Of your face a little clearer.
I ask could you sit up for me.
You looked Confused,
I respond with

",I just want to sit and look at you."  
"What do you see?"

Oddly, the hardest question to answer
Because it is so complicated,
I pop my mental knuckles
As I try to interpret
The masterpiece you are.

" Well miss,
I see the places
We will get lost in,
From jungles
In South America,
To desserts In Africa
We will always make dumb mistakes
And we will laugh about them.
I see what it looks like
When Saturn slow dances
With its rings,
Gentle and peaceful
Yet drifting
Through the unknown.
So when I look
Into your eyes,
I see my sorrows of tomorrow
Being laid to asleep
By your invisible super hero cape,
Because you are my hero.
You will save me
From any tree I'm stuck in
And I'll save you
When you find your kryptonite.
So to sum it up,
When I look at you,
I think that
Everything is okay now."

“life shouldn't exist before 10 am”

I muffle this in my pillow
Like a muted microphone,
Cussing out poetry lines,
Frustrated that I have to get up for work.
My eyes crank open to the optimistic sun
In the most unoptimistic way.
Watery and red,
I glance around the room
To find someone to blame,
However all I can find
Os this alarm clock,
Flashing it's lights at me.
That says 6:15,
But I feels like it's nap time for me,
I curl up in bed.

Wait!
The needy child called my job
Is slinking around my wrist
Giving me the urge to be adult like.
Mehh whyyya
Can't I be like the nerds
We make fun of
Who live in basements
And get a home cooked meal every night.
I lift my head up to hear the excuses my head Is making.
“you got student loans remember?
That and….
Car payments
Rent
Utilities?”

Alas, the battle that arouses
Between the trenches in my skull ends,
All of the smoke leaves my head
And pours into the coffee I'll drink.
Left and right side of my brain stop fighting
As I march on to work,
Doing the same thing
Everyone else is doing on this day
And my battle of waking up ends
Before it can rest on it.

You're eyes seem to hypnotize me,
Swaying back and forth
Like clock work
You always know
How to take my breath away
And store it
Where my past
Rages in its prison cell
You locked it away
Leaving my mind free
Of former tales
I made up
With ghost around campfires.
Convinced that you could never exist

But here we are
Sitting across each other
Starring at our thoughts
Thinking about how
Each time I blink,
I pray that you won't leave.
The sound we hear in this moment
Are our eyes
Opening and closing
Eyelids batting its dedicate wings
God never told me
That life could be so calm.
When I'm with you

When I'm not with you
I plan each adventure we will have
Each time is a open book test
On how to adore each other
No failure,
Just innocence
And taking silly photos
Sometimes I wish these photos
Could come alive.
Every time you make the face
The one you are making right now.
I just want to take a photo
Shake the Polaroid
And hope it comes alive
Just like what you did with my dreams