Heart rate increases as I fight back and forth with words of wits,
your words sinking into my thoughts, killing my peace,
drowning my own essence of rebellion.

Every comment is kicking me on the ground, keeping me down underneath the crashing waves of your statements.
It’s highly intoxicated with salt.
Strong, tangy, and bitter.

But your fangs always seem to seep out and attach themselves to my limbs and secrete a venom of negativity, allowing my thoughts to become poisonous to thyself.

I’m trying to change, I’m trying to be different now, can’t you see? A new day is approaching, as the sun takes its dive into the sea of star lit space, and allows the coolness of the night to embrace this side of the world.

But even if the end draws near, I still fear that your antics, will just gain unwanted attention directed towards me.
“You should know this by now!”
“What do you find so difficult!?”
“Why can’t you remember!?”

Violent words equal to violent outbrakes,
Do not antagonize a beast, for it will threaten back,
and we all know that it does not slack.
Your bitter poisonous words, have corrupted my thoughts, and that has made me what I am today.

Unhappy with myself.

I thought everything was fine,
I thought we were okay.
But, I guess you changed your mind,
since you went the other way.

I’m alone, that I can not change, but I can for my tone.
I’m hopeless, I’m stupid, I’m a pitiful being, whom is so tired of weeping.

Night, after night, tears streaming down ones face, always ending up in a similar place.
The pillow.

I do not wish to drown in my own sorrow, my own broken tears and shattered dreams and the burning wishful thinking.
I do not want to be that child, that girl you say is too young to love, too young to feel any emotion, but what I feel is real and what you’re doing to me feels like you’re trying to choke me.

You’re strangling me with your words, though you think that you’re being nice, or not too harsh at all, it felt like I had just been punched in the face. A dull, numbing sensation of the after taste, from a fist once in the air, then crushing me down with despair.

I do not wish to be weak, I do not wish to feel in pain, and I do not wish to feel lonely.

That is my greatest enemy, the crippling anxiety that stomps down on my fear, my nightmare, my little trouble that I resent.
I have to go through this because I am unable to leave your grasp just yet, but once I do I’ll be free, and maybe, just maybe.

I’ll be okay.

No more colours flourish within beneath your skin, they all swirled deep and the darkness bubbled up, and when you cut your finger, ink drips.

Your heart seems dead, though the problem has passed.
The truth is still there, and it’s dark, oh so dark.
I’ve been choking back my tears, especially when you smile at her.
Talk with her, laugh with her, hold her, kiss her.
I do not want you to touch her.

Why did you try and leave?
I do not understand why you would do such a thing,
Such a disgusting thing.

This has made me feel sick to my core, and I’m too scared to go it alone, though I do not want another to dare come near my dreaded soul.

I Hate You.
I Had Forgiven You.
But I Shall Never Forget What You Did To Us.

*Why, Oh Why, Did You Ever Think It Was Okay To Cheat?

The days go on, leaping through another month, another year.
By dear oh dear, when does it end?
That’s the thing, we don’t know, we’re trapped in the darkness of the unknown and only some of us feel as though we are the flourishing ones.
Then the others crumble and shatter, because they are the ones that feel lost and are withering their petals slowlywith every scratch of that blade.

It’s almost sad really, why do we care if someone dies?
I mean, time goes on and on, and as far as we know it never stops, so no matter how long you may have lived or are going to live,
It’ll be nothing compared to the universe.

It’s Almost Sad.

I know you’re there.
Waiting for me.
Staying by me.
Yet this craving of physical intimacy,
It never succeeds, because you’re not here,
You Are Not Here
Here with me, though I wish you would and could be.
It’s frightening and scary, even if I know,
But deep in my soul,
I feel a distance from you,
Distant from you.

And I Don’t Know How To Tell You.

To be in peace, is to feel a release.
A release of built up tension in any and all ways.
We can find this peace through the illustrious brushing,
which brings young men to *******.
But that is only one way, and isn’t what you think I’m trying to say!

Anything can envoke peace in ones mind, body and aching heart.
We can find this peace through the relaxation of sleep,
drifting quietly against the water of our dreams.

We can find peace through the steadiness of nothing,
not a soul to speak up, or a mouse to scatter along.
A peaceful day of nothingness.

We find this peace through different things, taking off the leash of what’s going on, and just sitting quietly in our own field, like a trusty dog.