My hopeful thoughts have shimmered away,
Like fireflies in the darkness of summer nights..
I thought I saw a spark..
But now it's gone...
I search in the shadows,
But once again it has retreated.
I'm left to wonder if it was my imagination again..
A mere facade in the night.
Impulsively I seek to numb it,
But in the anguish I may find something better than relief...
To feel it all with the burning realization
That there was nothing ever there.

I take a deep breath
I feel the deep heat hug my torso
He loves me like an ****** on the front patio
It's coming, that sense of hazy
He brushes the hair off my cheeks
Kissing me
My heart beats
I am power
He is lust
We push for trust
Settling with love
Our time is surrendering
So let's keep *******
Until night is bright and we're to tired to fight
The presence of our auras is frightening
I keep biting
We're ****** into dying but the rush is exciting

communication is the key
so i talk to myself as much as i can
we have a laugh
me and me
as a matter of fact
here he is now
with a joke
about a man
sat alone
with himself

I searched for you my whole life.
Ripping people open to see if I could recognize you inside them.
None of them were you.
The day I found you, I could barely hold on.
I had scraps where slabs should be.
I hadn’t realized they were ripping me apart too.

I'll never say that I need you, but you should know I think I might
I'll never try to stop you from leaving, but I hope that you'll stay tonight
There's so many words that I want to use
I've measured their worth and they're worth y of you
If only you knew just what I thought,  just how I took off when it was you I saw
And all the reasons why I've tried to hide all the love I feel inside
There are so many things that I'll never speak
But one day I may be able to say, just how much you mean to me

Doc, I really need some help
it seems I can't control myself
I am my own worst enemy
because I act impulsively

I love a girl from another time
I don't fit in, so that's just fine
I find myself perpetually vexed
by this world overrun with ***

In 14 months, I've hurt her so
why she still stays, i'll never know
I think I really need some help
without her, I'd destroy myself

when I'm down, I'm inconsistent
my energy is nonexistent
within about a day or two
my life completely comes unglued

but when I'm up, it's much the same
I treat life like it's just a game
I can't sit still, I hardly rest
most all I think about is ***

I've got no ******* self-esteem
feel everyone is mocking me
I need some help, bit I can't ask
and I can't handle simple tasks

please, Doc, I really need some help
before I can destroy myself
I know that it's not good for me
but I can't break the cycle, see?

the drink,
the drugs,
the pain,
the ******,
I just can't take it anymore