i regret all the times i said leave me alone
you put up with a lot and asked for so little
a little love a little time
a little something from me
but any time i was stressed
or bored or
you wanted attention i should have known how to give
all i had in me was Leave Me Alone
Leave Me Alone Leave Me Alone
Leave Me Alone and i regret it because
i didn’t actually mean it
to happen but
The stubs of my fingernails are chipped and broken from trying to hold on to you.
Clawing desperately at the rug you ripped out from under me.
I’m just not feeling this.
I was planning my life around you babe. But that scared you. I get it.
It wasn’t about me, what scared you was us. I’m seeing me as too stable.
I get it; im not exciting. But babe I’m here. Babe I’m here.
There was more, but I can’t.
(When I go to bed hungry and
Because I only had six beers and
The **** am I supposed to sleep?) without
There is this
Conundrum in my head
Where I say:
If your profile reads
"I'm so good,"
You probably aren't.
But I try
To convince you
I'm so good.
To my face you said 'Take out your anger.' I did
But now I'm pretty sure you were already with him
I told you I'd finish fast and I
I had a lot then, but now I have so much more
And don't know what the **** I should do with it.
A desire grew in him to be elsewhere
So he left those sickly streets and flew far, farther.
Farther even than the sunset and then he sat
He sat until the desire grew again and then he rose.
Heart pounding, but feet sitting firm
A desperate cast to the recesses of memory,
Baiting that sense of home,
The feeling grew big, bigger, even bigger still
Until still he could sit no longer.
So he turned and turned and turned, turning
Like a clock spinning in time-lapse over a cheesy montage,
Turned in on himself and just turning on himself.
Looking to himself and finding lack
Coming to himself and realizing the lack was love.
A desire grew in him to be someone else.
© Jake McKowen, 2010
It's easy to be the
Life of the party.
You just drink more
Than everyone else.
You just tell funnier
Jokes and make more
Cups in beer pong but
Always finish your side-beer.
You be the one always
Yelling for more shots
And know all the rules
To kings cup.
You always lose
And you're the go-to
Man for flip cup.
People talk about you
When you aren't there
"He drinks too much
But **** he's awesome."
When they want low-key,
You aren't invited.
But you have your
Other parties anyway.
Slam back beers
Red faced groggy eyed
Throw up just to
Start over again.
Drive home still drunk
To wake up still alone
And do it all
Yeah, its easy to be
The life of the party
When you're the
Only one there.
© Jake McKowen 2010