Sometimes i fear that time will run out
and i would have
done nothing
achieved nothing
proven nothing
accomplished nothing
The word failure is my gravity
it renders me useless, worthless
so i don't even try
i have let sands of chances slip through my
fingers
too scared of the sand getting into my eyes
give me ten thousand grains of sand to make
a castle
and i would only make a pillar
what is the point?
The castle is bound to break
the castle will break
My hard work will break
My hope will break
My possibility of success will break
so why bother?

I miss his smell
I miss his bad jokes
I miss his creative streak
I miss how he cares
I miss him so badly that it hurts,
I saw it all, I saw him leave this world.
The machines that helped him live
Were turned off
Off. Never to be turned back on
so he would die.
The machines beeping noises slowing down, until I couldn't hear them no more.
I didn't cry
I couldn't cry, it felt like
I had lost a war.
A war that was worth winning
I war which has scarred me
I'd do anything to hear
the voice I took for granted
The voice that was took
from my world, everyone's world.

It feels as if I am drowning,
Drowning so deep in my own thoughts
I can't get up and grasp the help that I need, I don't seem to want it anymore, I can't have it, what's the point? I'm going to fail,
fail in life,
Fail in what everyone expects me to be,
Fail in myself,
Fail in others,
and fail in trying.
Everyone says I have the potential, but do I really? Potential, what even is that word anymore? The only potential I have is to just lie down, and drown.