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Mar 2014 · 411
replace you
i know the day i finally catch you i will say no words but kiss those lips of yours even if i make a mistake and kiss someone who by far isn't you but at least then i can finally replace you

j.f
Mar 2014 · 540
robber
you broke into my home
searching for anything that can be
easily grabbed
you got a hold of my heart
stole it and just as easy as it was to get
was how easy you ran away with it
i never got a hold of your precious face
you just kept on running
because you kept that mask on

even when i got a hold of you heart as well

j.f
Mar 2014 · 25.2k
body
i never got a chance to touch your body the way she did but i did touch you the way she couldn't

j.f
Feb 2014 · 385
;
;
when i met you
i didn't think
i was going to like you as much as i do

and i really wish i didn't

j.f
hurts so much
Feb 2014 · 360
HER
HER
No matter who you are, just know that i'll always love you and you'll always be in my heart. I'll always consider you the first person I've ever caught true feelings for, never will i know the answers to the many questions about you but i hope someone walks into your life and takes your breath away the way i couldn't. I'll forever love you and no one can ever love you the way i can but i hope that one person that can, comes along soon because i do believe you deserve love in your life not the love you made me give you. I'll always want you more than you'll ever want me and that's okay because love doesn't exist only one can love on and the one they love will always love someone else much more and you love someone else much more than you'll ever love me. I hope you do one day fall in love if you haven't already. I hope she touches you much more than just your body. You've hurt me so much but i love you so much that no matter how deeply you cut my skin i still want the best for you. You always say that "God puts people in your life for a reason and they leave for a reason." but you'll never know the reason onto why i got into you life and that is what happens when in reality we aren't meant for one another.

j.f
2017 thought - she was a ***** :)
Feb 2014 · 477
you're my drug
when i was just a child and didn't know any better
i would speak to strangers and let them
whisper into my ear little secrets about you

they told me the good things and not the bad things
i had to figure out on my own
that eventually you can be as addictive  

as the baggies that you, yourself gave me
in the corner of the street

j.f
Feb 2014 · 594
sadly;
i have never cried for another human the way i did for you last night
i cried more for you than the earth did that day of the storm
i love you more than the flowers love the sun
i need you more than a kid for their blanket
and you love me just as much

but you're not in love with me
like sadly, i am with you

j.f
Feb 2014 · 647
grey
the day i fell in love with you
the sky was grey
the water looked grey
everything seemed grey... but me

i should have known that the color
was a warning
telling me to not fall in love with you

now everything
is full of color
     but me

j.f
Feb 2014 · 746
breaking
i'm jealous of all the people that
can see your eyes glow when the sun stares
can feel your heartbeat when you're out of breath
can see each and every little freckle on your face

i'm terrified that the love you say you have for me
will be gone in a matter of seconds
just when that other girl that can feel your heartbeat
see your eyes glow
that can count each and every freckle you have
will touch your skin
the way i wish i can and you'll love her like you claim you love me
                                                 maybe even more

but it wont be my fault this time
it will be yours and your cowardly way of loving someone

and how in your mind i live 5 thousand miles away from you
when in reality you only live 2 miles away from me

the scars you've had in the past that you can't let go of
you're afraid to feel what you felt for her again
you're afraid to be hurt like she hurt you
but if anything you're not the one getting hurt anymore
i am
and its my pleasure to be breaking from a girl like you ..

j.f
Feb 2014 · 505
idea
it's been a while since i've heard you say
                                    i love you
so i think about it and if you still love me
                                        like you claim you do
but i dont even know if i love you
like i claim to love you or
                  just the idea of you
and
sadly, that is the worse way to love someone

j.f
Feb 2014 · 588
Free
Every seven years i heard that the cells in your naked body is destroyed and replaced
by a new set of clean cells and its quite a nice feeling knowing
that in just 2 years my body will have never been touched by your bare big hands
my skin will become pure it can
stop rusting like it has been deep under the ocean for thousands of years

i cant wait for the day i come to the surface and just breathe a new oxygen
and you.. you will be out of my mind, and i.. i will not be afraid of you anymore
and you will continue to rot like i have been rotting for 5 years 6 months and 23 days

j.f
Its been more than seven years now, your skin has now never touched me .. 05/16
Jan 2014 · 1.1k
Hurting
You passed away a few years ago
It hurts more than
a wall crushing my body together
making it into a flat surface
where you can just step on top
It still hurts me
when I write down the words
you were once saying to me
I wonder if your soul follows me around
and is hurting
when you realize
you're still hurting me
even when you're buried
6 feet under the ground
j.f
Jan 2014 · 692
you're not sorry
i am not in love with you
i'm in love with the way you talk
the way your mind quite works
the way you get things the way you want
the way you say you love me

and i know it sure does seem like i am
with the way i just wrote about yourself
       and the words i wrote with this blue pen
            is actually who you are

but sadly, those are things you're making me believe you are
i'm just in love with the image you made of yourself
and whom you want to believe you are

and frankly, that is the worse way to make someone love you

j.f
im just telling myself im not in love with you but sadly i am :(
Dec 2013 · 534
part of me
i thought you were so beautiful
with the way your hip bones faced the ceiling
laying back on my bed

you asked me about my darkest secrets
without caring i told you
you left afterwards
leaving me with my secrets told
and with my secrets on the tip of your tongue
leaving you with a part of me

so the next person you kiss
will know my name

j.f
1) you know you left your favorite pair of underwear at my house, do you want to come and get them?
2) i miss you more than I miss my home
3) you're like a part of me that left and I really want that part of me back
4) you use to call me beautiful, I looked at myself in the mirror, said those words, cried softly because it wasn't your voice
5) i miss your voice running through my skin
6) remember all those times you would call me and tell me you miss me? How come you don't do that anymore?
7) i hugged this tall boy and it reminded me of how you would slouch to hug me, I smiled so widely I was as happy as I was when I was with you
8) the boy next to me smells like you
9) my brother came home and your name slipped out of his mouth or it sure seemed like
10) i miss you.
11) i saw you staring at me and when I went to smile you turned away
12) it got me sad like how when you told me you didn't like me
13) remember that time you kissed me? And you said you hope it doesn't change anything? You lied
14) it's been almost 4 months and my lips still ache your touch
15) i wish you were here
16) we were never in love but oh boy, how we could have been

j.f
Idk what this is, it just gets me sad and reminds me of you a lot :(
Oct 2013 · 798
You're so beautiful
You're so beautiful with the red full lips
         big curly dark hair  
                 pale white skin
how you say things
that you read from your favorite book
how you stare
                and admire
the moon when it shines in the dark

But why is it that
I can't just concentrate
at those perfect details anymore
But concentrate deeply
at those rigid wrists of yours
notice perfectly
how every horizontal cut is slowly
stopped at the end
because you were too scared to mark
another secret  

I always wonder what happened
to such a beautiful girl?
what is your story?
why is it that you grab a blade
to make gaps on your wrists
to print scars on your skin for a life time?

and I always wonder
that if you knew about
how much I thought of you

if you would stop

j.f
I wrote this poem about myself.. and im glad to say that my scars can barely be seen unless you look closely and that this moment of my life is left behind.. 06/16
Oct 2013 · 690
First love
Everyone would always remind me
that one day I'll have my first love

I wanted it to be
a handsome boy
with hazel eyes
that shined

so my heart broke hearts
and hearts broke my heart  

and I never realized how my first love

should have been me

j.f
love yourself before you can love somebody else.
Oct 2013 · 387
What will be worse?
I don't want somebody else
knowing how your eyes seem to glow when the sun stares
to know how it feels to
           put their head on your chest and feel your calm heart beat

I don't want somebody else
who's eyes seem to glow when the sun stares
           and to lay on their chest knowing it isn't you

I don't know what i want

I don't know what will be worse either

having someone else
                                                                       or
you loving someone much more than you ever loved me

j.f
i think its you loving someone much more than you have ever loved me and it hurts a lot.
Sep 2013 · 475
If only I knew who you were
I wish I knew who you were
so I can let myself fall,
                                        fall into your invisible arms
get buried into your chest
where your blood flowing non-existent heart is at
fall asleep with the sound
of your soft voice tickling my ear

but I'm afraid of falling,
                                           falling into something
that isn't there
and what isn't there


                                  is you

j.f
Sep 2013 · 475
No sleep
They say that when
you can't sleep at night
it's because someone out
in this blind world
is thinking of you

I've noticed
you've had bags
under your eyes

I'm sorry that you haven't slept

j.f
Sep 2013 · 387
Storm faded away
And I want to be with you
and I know how I feel about you

it's as strong as the winds during a hurricane
but I can't bear with the thought
of breaking you any time soon

but it looks like we rushed
out of the city a little too soon

j.f
I haven't written in like 3 weeks so no it's not my best I don't know why I can't write anymore :(
Sep 2013 · 417
Lies
you lied when you said you loved me
                                                                ­                    
                                      and i lied when i said i didn't love you back


j.f
dumb of me
Sep 2013 · 474
Lonely nights
I get lonely in the dark holy nights
it makes me judge my image
So i grab that pretty little silver sparkling blade

***** that that's the way i express it
But
I fall asleep with a smile on my face

j.f
Sep 2013 · 504
We tried
you and i**
got tired of trying
that we never realized
how both of us will
eventually wash out

we were like the waves
crashing into each other
trying to connect and stay put
at the same time

at the end we just went on with the wind

with the wind whispering into one another ears

"stop trying"

j.f
Sep 2013 · 419
Help each other
You tell me you'll help me with my issues
I tell you ill help you with your issues
but you can't even help yourself
how are you gonna help me but then again
I ask myself the same question

j.f
Sep 2013 · 526
Depths
My secrets
are as deep
as the depths
of the ocean

My secrets
are as deep
as the depth
of the g  ap s
I leave on
my wrists

you can never
see the bottom
of the ocean
and you can never
see the gaps on my wrists

you may never know my secrets

j.f
Sep 2013 · 612
Grave
When I'm dead
I don't ever want to feel
your existence at my grave and
hear you mourn for me to come back
and how much you really do love me
and how much you really miss me
because you're the reason I'm 6
feet under the ground and
those are the words I
needed to hear when
I was roaming
around the
streets
next to
you

j.f
Sep 2013 · 395
Dark times
You were
the only
person
to
make
me
smile
in my
darkest time



Now you are the reason for my dark times

j.f
Sep 2013 · 433
You left
You fixed me
when I brok
                      e
took all the pain away
saved me from drowning

you also broke me
and all the pain came flooding back
but I didn't know how to swim
and this time you didn't come to save me

j.f
Sep 2013 · 480
Days passing
134 days ago
I fell in love with
the sound of your voice tickling my ear
68 days ago
I fell in love with
the way your lips softened on my lips
57 days ago
I fell in love with
the way your shoulders towered over me

Throughout all those days
that i was falling for you more and more
you were falling for me
less and less
  
                                                         day by day
j.f
GAY
Aug 2013 · 416
Fading
I'm trying to picture the days we spent in your house hidden from friends so they won't bother our only time together
I dont remember it so clearly anymore
your face is erasing off of my mind so soon

                                     I fear that
                                when I wake up
                          tomorrow you won't be
                       the first thing on my mind

I fear that
tomorrow I will
   forget somebody who
       meant so much to me

                                                          You dont fear that
                                                     tomorrow you will
                                           forget somebody who
                                     meant so much to you

                because it already happened
                                yesterday  

j.f
Fading so soon but I still write about you.
I know that you believe you can't love somebody
I know that the people that mean the most
to you, love you but don't show the affection
like you want them too

So you believe that you can never love somebody

but the way you loved me was unbelievable
you cared for me like you care for that cup of tea

you showed me how it was to care for somebody
I showed you that the way your collarbones sticked out was perfect
You showed me that my imperfections were perfect  
I  showed you how it feels to be yourself around somebody and feel okay

We both showed each other how it feels to have somebody with you every orbit of the earth
                              but
One thing I didn't show you was that it's okay to admit that you love somebody

j.f
Even if you believe it's not okay.
Aug 2013 · 421
Same way
And I know I don't love you
as much as you love me

and the way you love me
is the same way she loves you

and the same way I don't love you
is the same way you don't love her

and you know exactly how she feels
because you are going through the same

It hurts a lot

But you just continue pretending to love her
at least I'm not pretending to love you

j.f
Aug 2013 · 391
Lost
The way we connected was beautiful just like I thought you were but I know what we
could have been is something
that I, we  couldn't get
               a hold of

                  at the end
we were both too afraid
to embark on the opportunity
we had that we just went on with life
                                       without one another


I guess we weren't so inseparable like humanity         thought we were

                look at us
just a f e w steps away from each other but
                m    i    l   es  away in our minds

j.f
Aug 2013 · 689
First kisses
I still remember
when you first kissed me
and said "I'm scared, why did I do that" with blushing cheeks
but few seconds later you did it again
smiled slowly
put your head down
then finally said
"promise me that even if we kiss 5 billion times it won't ruin our friendship"
I said
        "I promise"
but after 5 billion kisses passed I wish you said infinite kisses
so you        and         I
can still be friends

j.f
Aug 2013 · 491
You believe
What I don't understand is why you think
I'm such gold and treasure
I'm not as special as you think
I'm not the girl you think I am
I'm just a girl who yet needs to learn how to love herself before she can ever love anybody else

You believe you're in love with
                                                        who I am
                                         what I am
but you're just confused
just as I'm confused
with the love you think you have for me
I find it beautiful how someone can think they're in love with me
                          the idea of me

You believe you're in love with me because
of the way
           I listen
the way
                         we share the same opinions
but some opinions aren't correct for others just like you and I are for each other

I know a boy can never love me
as much as you love me
and I know where the future holds with me saying    
     "I should have taken him when he loved me"
but it is for the best and all I can say is thank you for loving me when no other boy          can

I don't know how to end this poem
just as
                I don't know how to end your love for me

j.f
:( I'm sorry
Aug 2013 · 1.3k
Hatred
I hate myself
more than a lobster hates boiling water
which is impossible
the boiling water kills the lobster
but just like the boiling water going into the lobsters skin boiling everything inside
is how slowly im taking my own life
with every scar I leave on my skin


    that is how much I hate myself  

j.f
Does it even make sense? It makes sense in my head.
Aug 2013 · 606
Save
Just as many times I say I hate you I really do hate you but what I hate the most is that I liked you
and didn't realize how you're not as special
as I thought you were but in all it wasn't
me who needed saving it was you and
I guess I saved myself from
you

j.f
Aug 2013 · 481
What is it?
Tricked myself into loving an image I created
someone I
    wanted you to be
and now
            I'm here leading you on
which is not only breaking you but me
it's not me being selfish
    because
I care about your happiness more than mine
but I think
    it was only to apologize for trying to change you into something you're not
and I don't want to leave you
    because I feel like you need me
but I got to think of my happiness too
and I'm not sure if that means I'm in love with you
or
  just

pitiness

j.f
Aug 2013 · 1.6k
Accident
You're still the last thing on my mind
before I go turn off the lights
to go crawl under my warm blankets
and I know
that I really don't love you
but I just enjoy saying I do
because you were different than other girls
made me feel wanted
made me feel special
but
what I didn't know is that I'm already wanted and special
just like you
and the sad part is that
I didn't need you
I just simply wanted you
and I accidentally confused that with love

j.f
Dude idk lol
Jul 2013 · 469
Last night
Last night I had a dream of you
just right when I was getting over you
and it really made me smile
it was you a couple months back
the boy I knew that once made me smile
like never before
maybe
it was a sign of you coming back
or
maybe
it was just the last image to remember you by

j.f
Jul 2013 · 904
Satan
Satan is not this red guy
with pointy horns coming out of it's head
holding a pitchfork with it's left hand
he's just a beautiful soul
misunderstood
and
mistaken as an evil creature

j.f
Jul 2013 · 502
Often
I often
wish        
you were mine
I often
forget     
you are not mine
I often
wish        
you loved me half as much as I love you
I often
forget     
that you do not love me half as much as I love you
I often
wish        
that this idea I create of you wanting me was real
I often
forget     
that you have your own idea with her
but
I'll always
remember that I will never be good enough to have you

j.f
Hope you like it!
Jul 2013 · 473
All i want
I know that you always wanted
to see a girl that
her eyes shined like diamonds
her attitude's like summer
and the way
she walks is like rain
but you never asked me what I wanted
because if you did
my answer would just be one word



        


                                              ­                       "you"

j.f
Jul 2013 · 580
Shame
24 days before Christmas I killed myself
that Christmas
no tree was built
no fun family dinners were served
no laughter was bouncing around the walls

my friends were crying
they missed me
everyday they would go to my grave
and put rocks instead of flowers because I always said
"instead of flowers on my grave give me rocks they last forever"
they cried and cried begging for me to come back and I was dumbfounded
because I really thought  
that I didn't matter to them
and they would be happier without me

5 months after I died
when summer was just around the corner
and is all laughter and fun
there was no laughter or fun
just timid smiles and swollen eyes
I realized
that people did love me
that people did miss me
that people always smiled more when I was around

it's such a shame though how people started showing their love after I was gone

j.f
I got the idea from another poem I read and I thought it was beautiful so I decided to write my own. Hope you like!
Jul 2013 · 596
Break
I love your laugh
all your simple minded jokes
the way you admired me
but I don't want too
because
even with all those great moments
there was a part of
me ..
You
that I didn't know

you are not my sun
as much as
I am not the star
in your life anymore
I can't bear with the thought of that
but I simply
just go on with the greys and accept it

sticks and stones will always break my bones
but you my dear boy
will always break me the most

j.f
Got an idea from another poem from Madison Kuhn her writing is beautiful :)
Jul 2013 · 314
Young love
I realized that I didn't actually love you
I only loved how you made me feel
and
who you were
but I was young
and
I thought that the way you made me feel
was love
the way you would
     listen to me
hear me
and
     promise me things  
you were like the petal and I was the rose
and
just like the petal
you soon started to die
and
eventually f
                      a
                         d
                             e    
                                                             ­                                       away

you lied to me and broke your promise
when you said you'll never leave
I lied when I said "I know"

because look at us now
you're at your house
  laughing
and
  talking
like I was never in your life
I'm here
  laughing
and
  talking
like you never were in my life
and
after all I actually think I'm going to be okay

j.f
Jul 2013 · 256
Still falling
I fell in love with the way
      he slowly started
falling in love with me
      but when It all stopped
it didn't matter
       I was still falling for him

j.f
Jul 2013 · 297
Rain
sometimes rain
makes you want to drown
in all your thoughts
sometimes you'd wish it never stopped

love is like rain

it can make you want to drown
and
you may wish it never stop
but just like rain
it will eventually stop

j.f
I'm not sure if this makes sense but it made sense in my head haha :) read my other poems they make more sense!
Jul 2013 · 354
Conclusion
I've came to a conclusion
that the reason
why I think of you
so much
at night
and not so much
when I wake up
from only
thinking of you
is that
the darkness creeping all around me
reminds me of
you getting into my soul
with those deep
conversations
and
it brings back all these memories of

                                                             ­       you and  me

and it makes me forget
that what we once had
is something
we don't have anymore

j.f
Not my best but why not just post it
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