I really do hate
how I see you as this
perfect human being
with a perfect beautiful mind
and you really don't deserve that because you're the worse
you grew poisonous flowers in my rib cage and poisoned me with your mind
drowned me in a deep blue sea and
left me there when you found the shore

j.f

I don't know why I love u so much
you don't even show me
the love I need
the affection I would like
to have from you
I can't feel your touch
I can't feel anything
just the words you say and write
and your voice, oh my sweet girl, that I love so dearly
which keeps me awake
through the cold lonely nights
the voice that I loose sleep too
and the words that I cry too
and it's not that I want to feel
a little weak from another
human being
I just cry
like my body is begging me to cry
like my eyes just turn teary and
water runs down my face
the way it runs down the windows that night
I guess the rain reminds me of you
and how sensitive you are like the rain drops touching the windows so softly
making beautiful kinds of droplets
but oh my sweet angel, all I ask is please don't
ever leave me and be by my side
come to me and
hold me like you did with her
stop filling my rib cage with
false butterflies
just love me like you loved her
and show me the love
you wish you showed her earlier
just please let me be her or
at least pretend so I can feel happy
because you're my happiness
and I know.. oh  I know that
that's the worse thing someone
can do to themselves

j.f

If I don't make you laugh on your worse days if I'm not the one that
you go to when you don't want to speak to another human being
if I don't put a smile on your face
just by you listening to my voice
If I don't make your heart skip a beat
when I say I love you
leave me
If I'm not on your mind 24/7
maybe even less
(so it can be an exception)
and if my name is not on your school notebooks with hearts on it
(maybe my name in a light grey)
leave me
run away from me
far, far away
if the thought of you not wanting to speak to me again crosses your path
on days you hate me
leave me
if I don't make you squirm in happiness
even if it's just by the simple word
of hello
and make you the saddest when i say
the simple words of just good bye
leave me
just please leave me
just please do so
because you deserve better and
there is someone out there
who will make you feel
the way I wish I could make you feel

so leave me

j.f

Don't ever fall in love with a poet
because they will indeed admire and watch your every move
they will write about how the pen marks on the side of your palm when you write
don't ever because they will trace
every single freckle you have on your face and
write about the color of each and every one of them and
describe how they smile so brightly under the sunlight
they will want you to want to know every little thing about them
even if it's just what hand they write with and want you
to be wondering why they write with that specific hand when in
reality it doesn't even matter

the poet will watch the way you dig
your eyes onto that book and your small quick remarks onto the 26 letters all crumpled together and will know that everyday at 5:28 p.m. you smile

they will look deeply into your eyes
to see if they can at least take a little
peak of your soul and they will write
about you like if you were the only
thing they see good in this world

they will want to know what you think
about when you look at them and
see if you also count each and
every freckle and hope and write  
that you do but they will
love you endlessly and they will
show you that they love you and only you

but don't date a poet if you aren't
capable to watch them and
admire their imperfections
when they sleep late at night
beside you.

j.f

I hate
a million times hate
when people say
"people should fall in love
with their eyes closed"

Because when I did
she didn't let me open my eyes

j.f

I just want somebody who wants
to ******* mind at 3 am
who doesn't get annoyed by my jealousy and by me texting them
in all caps when I'm happy and
texting them 6 times in a row
someone I can walk with at the park
and stay 5 hours on the swings
just laughing and talking about anything that pops up onto our minds
somebody who isnt afraid to catch me when I fall for them
I want someone who
kisses my forehead
holds my hands and
never wants to let go
I want someone who knows me
inside and out and
knows what I'm thinking just
by glancing at me
someone I can sing along
to the radio with
someone who chooses me over anyone else and doesn't think twice about it

I just really want that to be you

j.f