No bad deeds goes unpaid
strings of fate, never lose its raid.

I’m tired of carrying you at my back.
Keeping you well fed
to the point I starved myself.

Did you often wonder what I feel?  
Have you ever thought of what I really want?
Have you ever seen me without my deep façade?

The difficulty I'm facing is well kept.
Time after time it wears me down.
To the point of exhaustion.
When can I stop and have a little break?
My mind is full and my heart is heavy.

These questions will remain lost in the sea of my thoughts.




© 2013 Pax

He was a forest
fire
and I was the
oxygen
that enabled him to
grow.
He burned
everything
in his path, leaving
nothing
untouched by his
flames.
I blamed
myself
for all the destruction he
caused,
even though he scorched
me
worse than anything.*


B.S.

I didn't realize
that loving you
limitlessly
would have the same
effect on my
body
as having a
few too many
drinks.
I guess I
should learn my
limit.*


B.S.

I feel so safe laying here
with my head on his chest,
listening to the beat of his heart.
I feel comfort with his arm around
me and his hand resting on my hip,
but I know that he can tear my
heart out as easily as the page
of an old, over-used book
and that's what terrifies me.


B.S.

Maybe he left
because he got
tired of plucking
splinters out of
his fingers every
time he touched
me because of
the fence I built
around my heart.*


B.S.

I think I may be
Nyctophilic
Because I love
The darkness

The relaxing nothingness,
Eigengrau flooding my eyes
Releasing me from the world
For a little while

I used to be scared
Of what lurked inside,
But I accepted the dark
As part of me

The dark is good
Just look at the night sky, dark as well
It is mysterious and glorious
And maybe it does have danger

But if you learn to accept
You will find the dark comforting as well
And you may join me in the group of
Nyctophilics; the people who live in the eigengrau