Em E - Hello Poetry

Em E Jan 2018

I long to erase my pain in your skin for one breathless drowning moment
To dissapear, dissolve in atonement
Hold my breath and fall into you, so focused that I don't even notice
When my own breath hitches, when I leave my own body flowing out in tears or sobs of another sort
Not sure what shore I am washing up on, just knowing I'm gone, what relief
My release, your release, yet both those escapes are such a brief reprieve -
Just a tease of peace and sanity I've not yet fully earned.

#death #****** #*** #heaven #breathing #drowning #love

Em E Jul 2017

Behind My Eyelids

I closed my eyes,
lids down against the fire of the afternoon sun,
and through those new curtains I could no longer penetrate.
And so I turned inward instead
seeing the fire within my head,
the glowing embers radiating
out in a spinning, shifting, turning
series of wheels and tiles, burning
a deep glowing red,
then cycling through to hottest white
And the purple and blue
of deoxygenated blood
Returning to my lungs for another breath,
To gather the elements to delay my death
Working with my heart
To keep me vibrating
Every part in tune,
Each cell cradling me within
A billion tiny wombs comprising my skin, my flesh,
Incubating every spark of me that is
(my spirit).
That fire that burns within those spiralling rainbow hues,
that welcoming tapestry of space connecting me to you
and everything.
I saw this only when I closed my eyes
and let the sunlight filter through.

#fractals #sunlight #light #fire #awakening #inward #awareness #sensation

Jun 2017

Akira Chinen

the courageous child

I am a failure and a fraud, I have yet to live up to my imagination, to be the courageous child that can laugh at god and play with the devil, I have spent more time doing less when I should have been doing more, I can smell the autumn winds and see the darkening grey skies of what little years I have before me, so quickly it has gone, the minutes and hours and days and months and years and moments, small flashes of inspiration crushed under waves of the indifference of tomorrow's, love has always been there but not always tended to, lost and found, burned to ash and risen to flame, cowardly ignored and foolishly rushed into and still it is there always in reach of being out of reach, I am not particular good at any one thing, I have not studied as I should have, I have not been practiced or well disciplined, yet I pretend and continue to lie, with pencils and lines and pens and words and clays and shapes, I have no idea what I am doing yet I find I do it anyway, sometimes at least, not as often as needed though, my future sits on my desk and in my sketch pads and it is right there in front of me and yet somehow I manage to ignore it and just go through the motions of living, hoping for what... I don't know... I do not fear death but I do hope that she is far enough away that I will figure out how to live with failure and how to be a good fraud and how to use my imagination to the best of its abilities and mostly how to be a courageous child

Jun 2017

Rumi

These spiritual window-shoppers

      These spiritual window-shoppers,
      who idly ask, 'How much is that?' Oh, I'm just looking.
      They handle a hundred items and put them down,
      shadows with no capital.

       What is spent is love and two eyes wet with weeping.
      But these walk into a shop,
      and their whole lives pass suddenly in that moment,
      in that shop.

       Where did you go? "Nowhere."
      What did you have to eat? "Nothing much."

       Even if you don't know what you want,
      buy something, to be part of the exchanging flow.

       Start a huge, foolish project,
      like Noah.

       It makes absolutely no difference
      what people think of you.