What a lovely night it is
to strike my head right in half
until all the words come pouring out
crammed with my thoughts of you.

Anguish and penitence
with a deluge of blood and tears
tainted the pure pages
as I delve into the deepest parts of my brain
and grub up the harrowing
yet beauteous sparks of our yesterdays.

Oh, the agony;
the ache that clench my core,
twisting and tearing and wrecking my bone,
that once again benumbed
by the memory of your crooked soul,
haunting my mind whispering,
"Love was a curse,
and your heart was a place
where it couldn't bloom."

Date written:  November/10th/13

29, the age I arrived to this land, saying goodbye to all I knew like the back of my hand.
A single ******, so fresh, so naive- all so different to what I once perceived
My eyes glistened at this new found galore, and just in the airport, there was soon to be more.
My body was aching from the twelve hour flight, but my mind was renewed, yet my muscles still tight.
As time passed on, I knew their ways, and seeing them now, they all look astray.
My heart wanted to run, to escape from these lies and go back to the north , but my mind began to reel in to the things that led to demise, yet I continued to go forth.
The pain was real and the temptation was strong, then came a point I didn’t know right from wrong.
I came from a place that poor and needy, but I’d rather be there than here; where everyone is thankless and greedy.
The pureness of their hearts was more than the change in their hands, and the love for Allah and Rasool (PBUH) was stronger than owning every piece of land.
Here I see their wallets are overflowing with false means, while hoarding wealth and bottomless wants are bursting at the seams.
I was bathed in this filth and dirt, everywhere I went it was there,
but my conscience  kept my head on straight and I continued my daily prayers.
It was my choice (and still is now) to mark my path I know how.
What my eyes once saw may have once been appealing, but the orders sent down were those I obeyed, and everyday I found myself kneeling.
I’m at a crossroads, (or rather I was at the time) but the journey was planned out before the choice was mine.
The Quran kept me going as my native tongue translated, when I read the penmanship and beauty of these words, it seems as if all pain has faded,.
“Faith is what stays in your heart and displays in your act” is a saying far better than charts and facts.
Those words speak to me, as they have to many before- whether changing lives or teaching more. And through this battle, the demons tried to break in, but the Sunnah, Hadith and Quran shielded me from sin.